Dp wants to use a lumpsum inheritance to become a part owner in the house - WWYD

[ForgetMeNotBlue1]

there is a bit of a backstory to this but just wanted to get your opinions as I'm wavering on this

when I met dp around 8 years ago, he earned a similar amount to me. Executive role, in a niche part of the music industry, in a job that he thought he'd be doing till retirement. Life, financially, was easy then because we earned the same.

In early 2019, dp lost his job, completely unexpectedly and because of his age and because of the music industry being in decline, he could not find another. After 6 months of him having no income whatsoever, applying for every job and getting turned down each time and getting more and more low about his prospects, we decided that he would just have to take the first job he could get, even if the salary was low.

he found a job earning 1/5 of what he was earning before that was part time, while still looking for another one that paid better and suited him better. Then Covid hit and there was nothing around. This isn't him not trying enough - I've heard some of the interviews he's done and some of them recently they have told him they have had hundreds of applicants for one role.

in the meantime, he's about to come into an inheritance. He wants to pay down the mortgage we have on the house (which I own in my own name at the moment) and get a share of the ownership.

from his position, I can understand why he wants to use his inheritance this way and gain an asset. But I am concerned that he will own say 1/4 of the house but is unable to contribute much to the running of it, due to his disposable income being so much lower.

it will help me because his contribution will practically bring the mortgage to zero so my disposable income will go up (but I will lose part of the asset)

this was always our plan, that he would become a part owner of the house, but this was when we earned the same and it made sense. Now that there's such a disparity, I can't decide in my mind what is fair and what isn't.

Absolutely no way!!!

You refer to him as DP so I assume you’re not married. Any divorce barrister will advise 90% of unmarried partners to only own joint property if it is not an existing residence of either party.

My brother is in the music business, extremely well known, well regarded as a session and major touring musician to all kinds of bands and is an official member of2 artists bands for about 18 years each. He is also endorsed by Les Paul and gets free instruments as well as payments for playing them exclusively on stage. Without saying who, both the bands he is an official member of are lead singers of 80”s bands who then went solo such as (just an example) Allison Moyet, originally of Yazpp or perhaps Marty from wet wet wet. His employees are yearly tour folks, less albums now, but I believe he has been a guitarist for many people at Glastonbury for the last 15 years, as you and your partner can now arrest to ageing and the music business are poison to each other and the music business is filled with volition at the best of times. As good as my brother is, keeping up a youthful appearance is an expectation. Hair colour, lower face lift, Botox, veneers and so forth. He was fully booked up with tours, festivals, sessions, from February straight through to Christmas with 2 gigs with some people consider iconic or even superstar such as Rod Stewart. By the 30 of February about 1/6 of his gigs were being cancelled or postponed, and by the end of March every job for the year was cancelled completely. So due to his vast industry network he was able to wiggle into a job in music publishing which is what he did for employment during university. He truly lives quite frugally and has saved like crazy since his first A&R contract because he knows as you know, once you are showing age your career is over, agents, managers, runners, instrument techs it’s over. You will never earn as you did before, and really the only industry jobs available to partners of yours age are Publishing, copyright and royalty collections at companies like PRS.

This is your home. You chose it, paid for it, fell in love with it and did the decor to your own taste until it was your personal sanctuary. Maybe you will be with this man forever, but just know from now on until he retires, the only direction his income is going is down. I’d be astonished if he makes it unti 67,
God let’s pray you don’t ever split because if you allow him any financial stake in your home.you’ll likely have to sell it to give him his “share”

Please don’t do it

My DP and I have unequal shares in the property we purchased. It was the only way that we could buy the home we wanted but I'm fully aware that if we split in the future or one of us dies then we'd have to sell the house to give each of our children (from previous relationships) their inheritance. It does make me nervous that I'd have to sell up if my partner dies before me but I'm realistic about it.