Financially Screwed at 52 - What Should I Do?

[RedPeony21]

I started work at at 17 and worked full time in a few different jobs until I was 29. I paid tax and NI but no pensions. When I was 29 I married and my husband and I emigrated to Canada. He worked full time for 8 years then we set up a business where he was self employed, joint partnership. During the years he was employed I worked part time as I was at home with my son. When the business was set up I worked full time in the business. During the 18 years in Canada we paid there equivalent of NI and tax.
After 18 years our marriage broke up we sold the house and collapsed the business and returned to the UK, we then separated after 6 months.
We had £50k in cash we split between us. I bought a car with my money and then had a few thousand in the bank.

I rented a flat for me and my son, I had to go on UC as I was only working 20 hours a week the cash lasted a few years but now I have only about £600 in savings.

Fast forward 5 years from returning to the UK, my son now lives with his dad to be near college. I had to give up the flat as I could not afford it as no UC and even though I got a full time job, my salary would not cover rent, bills, car, food etc. My mum offered me to live with her. I did stay with her for six months.

For the last 4 years I have been in a relationship with a lovely man, we finally decided it would be a good time for me to move into his home and start our life together. So I left my mums to do this.

My partner rents his home, after his divorce he didn't have money to buy another house.
He has a solid well paid job, he has credit card debt and loans totalling approx 16k, an overdraft of approx £600. He has no savings. He pays approx £1000 per month into pension and tells me he can't afford to save anymore money after Bill's etc are paid. I do contribute to bills, although I only work 30 hours per week which he is happy with as he says he does not want me working longer hours as feels I don't need to, I do have some health issues so this makes sense. Although I would be happy working full time if I could help out more.

I constantly worry about what would happen later in life. I do not own a home, I have missed many years of paying into a pension in the UK, I may not get a Canadian pension (reason being possible tax problem so my ex husband has informed me) if anything happened to my partners job we have no savings, his pension would go directly to his 3 children if anything happened to him (rightly so). So basically I feel screwed, I have been a fool not taking care of money, but my life situation hasn't helped.

My partner is 50 and I am 52. I talk about our retirement and how we will live, his pension is at £70k right now, more years of working ahead, my pension pot from the government will be peanuts I'm sure, I don't see how we can live in our retirement. I am worrying all the time, what can I do?

Well first of all if you can you need to work full time.

I don't understand why he is paying so much into a pension each month when he has such a lot of debt unless it's not costing him anything to service that debt? You are unlikely to get a full UK state pension unless you have 35 years of NI contributions so I would concentrate on building that up.

"He is happy with as he says he does not want me working longer hours as feels I don't need to"

Its not up to him to decide what he does and doesn't want you to do. Get out of the mindset of being looked after and use your time trying to build up savings of your own.

I concur. Go full time and get cracking. 52's not necessarily too old, you're still 15 years from retirement. But you'll get nowhere on 30 hours a week. Unless you've got an inheritance coming, in which case fine.

Definitely look into paying extra to buy extra years of your state pension. You can contact Pension Wise for advice.

There is an excellent pensions and retirement forum on the money saving expert website that you could post on. Try to accrue as much in savings as you can in an ISA.

Thanks for the input. At the moment my job will only allow me to do 30 hours per week due to funding. I am signed up to receive emails from CV Library so am on the look out for permanent full time work with benefits. Not much about at the moment though.

I will receive some inheritance from my mum, but I have two sisters to split the pot with, do unlikely to be a lot.

I do not know why he pays so much into his pension, every time I try to have a discussion about money and savings it feels like I am probing him and he gets a bit defensive. We have our own bank accounts and his bank statements/online banking and credit card info are all on his phone which I have no access too. I dont feel I have the right to ask to see these. Although I would like to know where all his money is going as he says he cant save a penny extra.

I budget my money, pay my bills, keep a little back for a haircut etc, but the rest of what I earn goes into my saving account.

Before lockdown if we went out for a meal I would buy the drinks and he would pay for meal. But we rarely go out. We havent got expensive tastes in clothes, but prefer to charity shop for quality designer stuff, maybe once a month etc. This may be no more than £10 each if we find anything. Food is our biggest cost, but I meal prep for the week and only buy what is needed. So I have tried to cut our spending.

I have no hobbies that cost money, I just ride my mountain bike which I paid for myself, bought second hand. Both him and his son own a jetski each but have only been out 3x this year. He has a caravan which he has had 3 years, but again this year didnt get used. I guess a lot of money is taken up on insurance etc for these. None of these things he would give up. In all the time we have been together we have never holidayed abroad. I dont think he has ever been abroad.
Still my main concern is how are we going to live in rented accommodation after retirement on little to no money?

I think I'd be tempted to stop thinking about his financial situation entirely. Unless you're getting married, his finances are his to manage.

I'd focus on what I have and what I'm able to do to improve my situation rather than looking to depend on him. A full time job would be a great start.

You have two issues - he is defensive (secretive? if so - why??) about money and you have no retirement savings.

Can you retrain to earn more cash?
Does OH share your concern?

I agree with the advice to stop thinking about his financial situation and focus on the fact you need to be self supporting going forward.

Look on www.gov.uk
Under state pension and National Insurance

You can see exactly how much NI you have paid per year

You can get a state pension forecast
What year you may receive it (ma increase)
Estimated amount
State pension age is 66 for people now
It is probably 68+ for you
You may be able to pay in some money, if you have missing payments for the previous 6 years. I don't think that you can pay any earlier than that

I agree focus on your savings & future ( not your partners)

Look on Money Saving Expert website for more info

One thing I would do @RedPeony21 is properly investigate the canadian pension yourself , rather than rely on ExH word for it - determine what these possible tax problems are and get a proper view on what you may or may not receive. ( Apologies if you have already done this )

Go on the Canadian government website and look up what you will get with how much you have ever paid in there. Do the same with the UK gov site look at your pension forecast.
Then go full time maybe consider paying some back years on your UK pension, I paid 6 years in a block as I was living abroad.

I have made up some numbers

If you worked an extra 7hours (Full time)
£70 per week
£280 per month
£3360 per year
£33600 after 10 years
If you paid this into an employer pension, they also add some money on for free (each employer adds a different amount)
The only issue with a pension, is that you will have a date or age that you can access it

Or you could save in an ISA, although the savings rates are lower, but instant access

Or invest in something else ?

You need to start educating yourself about savings and investments.

Your partner's money is nothing to do with you. You are not married and there is no guarantee that you will stay together.

Set an amount that you can save per month and get cracking with it. Buy as many missing NI years as you can.

We're not in the 1950s any more and women are expected to stand on their own two feet and make their own arrangements. The days of being provided for are long gone. If you don't make arrangements for your retirement, nobody else will.

Women have been very badly treated regarding pensions, but there's nothing we can do about it, except to save as much as we can and not stick our heads in the sand.

What he earns and saves isn't your concern right now tbh. Only you control what happens in your future financially and otherwise...you have no ties to this man.

I'm guessing he's paying so much into his pension because of the tax benefits- seems sensible to me. I agree with what other posters are saying about disregarding his financial situation and focussing on your own. It's great that you are looking for full time jobs now. I would continue your thrifty spending post lock down and even if you get a full time job and therefore earn more, and save as much as possible into a pension (if tax efficient for you), savings account or index tracker fund - never too late to start!

Why wasn't there more money from your marriage? As PP's have said you need to stop thinking about his finances and work on improving yours. Take control of the situation with your Canadian pension and get in contact with a decent financial advisor about how to maximise your uk pensions. I think you need to be more proactive about getting a full time better paid job and saving in a smart way.

Thanks for everyone's input.

At 52 I feel to old to start to train for something new. I can just get through the week when working full time with my underlying health conditions. Training for something new may be impossible for me.

The best I can do is look for a full time position with the skills I have. The most I have been paid is £12 an hour. Not much to build up savings and pay off missing years of NI I'm afraid.

I agree I need to educate myself on savings/investments etc. I will make notes of suggestions on here and crack on with this.

I do see that my partners money is nothing to do with me, we have agreed we both don't want to get married again but are committed to each other. Of course this does not give me any financial stability which I worry about, but with my low income I don't know how I will survive if we ever separated. If we separated and I had to find my own accommodation there would be no money for savings etc. I live South West of the UK and property here to rent or buy is out of my reach.

My plan for now is look for a better paid full time job and educate myself on money.

OP is the current division of bills fair to you? Are you paying half the rent, half the council tax, half the utilities and half the shopping? It's unclear from your post.

The amount I contribute is more than fair, he pays the lions share, I pay what we have agreed on taking into account my own personal bills and have enough money to save and have haircuts etc. He is very generous on this and I have no concerns. He knows how important money is to me and how much I worry for the future. He tries to minimise my stress as much as possible, however it doesnt help when I know he cant save, although he is paying hugely into his pension.

OP are you paying a fair proportion of your wages into the joint bills?

Because if you’re paying half an he earns significantly more... that’s an issue. I wasn’t sure...

I think you need to spend less time thinking about your partners finances and more time thinking of your own:

How can you increase your earnings? More hours? Second job?
Are there any benefits you are entitled to?
What is the position of your current Canadian pension?
Do you have any assets that can be sold in future?
Are there any cut backs you can make to increase your savings each month?

Honestly, you are still talking about worrying that someone with no ties it commitment to you can't save. He is saving, by paying his own pension

The only thing you can do is start to make provision for yourself. Where is the car you bought? Could that £25k not have been a deposit for a little flat somewhere?

I would look at upping your income and paying more into your NI. Plus investigate the Canadian issue independently.

There's not much else you can do tbh!

Have you looked at a lifetime ISA? They're like a little pension pot, and you can save up to £4000/year towards retirement, the big thing is that the government currently tops it up by 25%, on top of any growth from either interest, or investment growth.

A pension will probably perform better, but that LISA 25% bonus isn't to be sniffed at.

MSE recommended the 'Moneybox' LISA, and it's an app and is really easy to transfer to whenever you have a little money spare. You can open it immediately. I use it to squirrel away any extra cash (I already pay into a pension and shorter-term savings). You can get it to link to your current account and round up to the nearest pound and transfer that to the LISA, too, which you don't tend to notice, unless things are really tight.

Ignore your partner's finances. If you never marry it will make very little difference to you and you need to aim for independence. Are you named as a beneficiary if something happens to him btw? Not that that would help if you split up.

Did he give his ex a chunk of his pension in their divorce? Given he can’t buy a house maybe he’s trying to build it back up. But I agree with others that it’s really none of your business. You say money is important to you so you need to focus on making and saving more by yourself. He might be defensive about your questioning because he feels he’s subsiding your living costs because you’re working pt and that allows him the freedom to invest the rest of his money as he sees fit.

What did he spend the £16k he’s in debt for on?

Are you paying your ex child support if your child lives with him and is still in college? If so you’ll be saving that once he’s finished and gets a job.