Financially Screwed at 52 - What Should I Do?

[RedPeony21]

I started work at at 17 and worked full time in a few different jobs until I was 29. I paid tax and NI but no pensions. When I was 29 I married and my husband and I emigrated to Canada. He worked full time for 8 years then we set up a business where he was self employed, joint partnership. During the years he was employed I worked part time as I was at home with my son. When the business was set up I worked full time in the business. During the 18 years in Canada we paid there equivalent of NI and tax.
After 18 years our marriage broke up we sold the house and collapsed the business and returned to the UK, we then separated after 6 months.
We had £50k in cash we split between us. I bought a car with my money and then had a few thousand in the bank.

I rented a flat for me and my son, I had to go on UC as I was only working 20 hours a week the cash lasted a few years but now I have only about £600 in savings.

Fast forward 5 years from returning to the UK, my son now lives with his dad to be near college. I had to give up the flat as I could not afford it as no UC and even though I got a full time job, my salary would not cover rent, bills, car, food etc. My mum offered me to live with her. I did stay with her for six months.

For the last 4 years I have been in a relationship with a lovely man, we finally decided it would be a good time for me to move into his home and start our life together. So I left my mums to do this.

My partner rents his home, after his divorce he didn't have money to buy another house.
He has a solid well paid job, he has credit card debt and loans totalling approx 16k, an overdraft of approx £600. He has no savings. He pays approx £1000 per month into pension and tells me he can't afford to save anymore money after Bill's etc are paid. I do contribute to bills, although I only work 30 hours per week which he is happy with as he says he does not want me working longer hours as feels I don't need to, I do have some health issues so this makes sense. Although I would be happy working full time if I could help out more.

I constantly worry about what would happen later in life. I do not own a home, I have missed many years of paying into a pension in the UK, I may not get a Canadian pension (reason being possible tax problem so my ex husband has informed me) if anything happened to my partners job we have no savings, his pension would go directly to his 3 children if anything happened to him (rightly so). So basically I feel screwed, I have been a fool not taking care of money, but my life situation hasn't helped.

My partner is 50 and I am 52. I talk about our retirement and how we will live, his pension is at £70k right now, more years of working ahead, my pension pot from the government will be peanuts I'm sure, I don't see how we can live in our retirement. I am worrying all the time, what can I do?

I think you make a holiday the best you can in your circumstances. The caravan is fairly new. We don't do premium sites, we find little out of the way places, we budget, we always find little gems of places where the kids can bike on trails etc. We do not pay for storage as we have a huge garden that will take the caravan and cars. Awning came with the caravan. The servicing is once a year which he has done. Mostly maintains it himself. My partner already had a good car for pulling a caravan so no extra cost there. So the cost of fuel, food and site fees plus caravan club fees, and insurance works out a lot cheaper than taking four kids away. We would only be going on one holiday abroad each year if that was the case. But with a caravan we can do more than one week and possible weekends. I do not know where your BIL stayed but at £350 it must of been somewhere with entertainment and pools etc. We find sites for about £15 per night with hook ups.
We prefer getting back to nature, hiking, biking and camp fires in small snug places without loads of people. The kids have always loved it and have missed going this year. For us we get value for money without going over our hoilday budget.

This will be his last caravan he purchases as the kids will be doing there own things in a few years time and won't want to come, then the two of us will just do our own thing. Most likely not with a caravan.

Hi op. I’m not trying to be rude but you don’t seem to have been able to support yourself even when working full time with no caring responsibilities. Do you think this is circumstance or is there something psychological?

CayrolBaaaskin

Hi op. I’m not trying to be rude but you don’t seem to have been able to support yourself even when working full time with no caring responsibilities. Do you think this is circumstance or is there something psychological?

Hi, I'm not sure why you would think that about me, you dont anything about my life. When I separated from my husband, I rented a house for my son and I until he left for college and to live with his dad. I think that's big enough responsibility.

I also did all of our immigration paperwork without help from a specialist for our move to Canada. I has 18 years of living in Canada, with no family support , my husband worked long hours. Eventually set up a business of our own which I ran and looked after a mansion of a house whilst bringing up my son. Again husband worked long hours and I was alone most of the time.
I have done more in my years than most people will ever experience. So please dont judge on what you dont know. I do not have any MH conditions. Just money issues which I am trying to put right.

1. As said above for the UK you can go on line and check your pension provision - I think you may need an online HMRC account to do so but they are easy to get.. You can also ask for a statement by post about your pension at 67 or whenever your state pension age is.

I got mine. I am not sure about Canada however.

1. Check if you divorced in the UK or canada and if in England what the consent order or court order says about money checking in particular for if it were a clean break or not. If it were you cannot now claim your ex husband's pension. if it were not then you might even now have a claim.

1. Your partner is very wise to save so much into a pension and that is his choice and you are not married. When you say his pension if £70k do you mean the fund only has that in it? If so that is hardly anything. I think pensions tend to yield about £4k - 5000 a year for every £100,000 in the pot before tax so he might get £2800 a year if he has £70k in the pot and that will be taxed at 20% as he has state pension too - both are taxed if you earn enough so his £70,000 fund might yield him £2240 a year for life once he retires.

if he is putting in £12,000 a year now and will for the next 10 years then he might have 120k plus 70k in his 60s so perhaps double the sum I mention as income in retirement after tax - so even by then not that much. So he is not wrong to be putting money aside now as sadly yields are so low these days.

Hi OP, you need 35 years of National Insurance contributions to get the full State Pension. You have 17 years already and can buy back 6, which means that you only have to pay NI for another 12 years to qualify - surely it is worth doing that? Buying NI years is an extremely cost-effective option. I see that you are not married and his attitude towards you and money means that you are indeed in a very vulnerable position if the relationship ends. I strongly advise you to work FT - he may prefer you only work PT but it won't be him who is completely screwed should you go your separate ways. And PLEASE be pro-active about chasing up the Canadian pension; clearly your ex is not being at all helpful with this so you have to grasp this yourself and get on with it. Don't be like my friend who was in an almost identical situation to you, just let it drift and is now completely fucked at the age of 65 after her partner walked off with a younger woman despite years spent assuring her that marriage was a patriarchal construct that neither of them needed..

Lots of good advice here. If I was you I would try to get a job in the NHS. It’s secure and the pension is good, plus you have nearly 20 years to buy more pension.

You said in your OP that this is a constant worry for you... yet you don’t sound particularly motivated to go to your storage unit and sort through those boxes for your CPP details. Do it!!!! Why would you wait, when you’re constantly worried, to find out what you might have from 18 years of CPP?
It would take you seconds to text your XH and say, “I want to get my admin straight on CPP - what did you mean by tax problems with it?”

@RedPeony21 - as I said I didnt mean to be rude, I have ASD. What I meant was you said you spent all your divorce proceeds after you broke up with your dh although you were working full time. You then moved in with your mum which is unusual for someone at that age.

I mean is there something psychological that it would be helpful to deal with for the future? No point repeating the same patterns. Fair enough if not, but most adults can support themselves financially.

I'm wondering if the 'tax implications' re your ex and his foreign pension are to do with if he draws it now, and transfers to uk he has to pay Canadian tax on it? I m a bit rubbish too re pensions etc but I recall reading something like this on another country's tax website.

Have you looked up pension credits? Check if you would be eligible for this - it's a government benefit safety net for those not eligible for full state pension. Very under- claimed benefit apparently as loads of people unaware. It's also a gateway to other benefits like housing benefit. A quick Google of pension credit should give the answers .