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Original poster

Is this just too risky?

27 replies

User1478654 · 06/10/2020 07:09

Getting married in April, we last month finished saving and have the full amount we need.

Our ideal house has come up, at the worst time, in an area that rarely comes up. It will be our entire wedding savings. If we really scrimp and save, we may be able to do it but it would be very tight, and there is a risk we wouldn't quite have enough. If we max out credit cards or possibly take out a loan, then we'd do it but would then have a mortgage and debt.

We can't scale back the wedding, we're very much committed. Do we go for the house and just hope for the best, or do we miss out and just hope something eventually comes up again in this area?

It's such bad timing

OP posts:

loutypips · 06/10/2020 07:14

You may have to scale back or rearrange the wedding if things haven't improved by then. What happens then? You miss out on a dream house and a dream wedding.
What's your priority? Signing a bit of paper and an expensive party or having the house you love? I know what I would do.

mygrandadsvest · 06/10/2020 07:15

As someone who had a big wedding in hindsight I would go for the house. Throughout lockdown I have been insanely jealous of those having 6 people weddings- ours got totally out of control with cousins, plus ones etc...

Skyliner001 · 06/10/2020 07:16

House 100%. You won't regret it 😂

HaggieMaggie · 06/10/2020 07:16

Difficult - will you have the dream wedding in April with covid possibly still about?

Should you miss the dream house on that basis?

Will house prices have come down next year and you will be glad you waited?

Who knows .... no envy

Bigfatpicnic · 06/10/2020 07:16

It depends on your appetite for risk!

That would be too risky for me.

I’d scale back the wedding if it was my perfect house. I don’t see how you can’t scale it back at this stage. What’s the issue with scaling back?

Original poster

User1478654 · 06/10/2020 07:18

We can't cancel the wedding, it's in a destination where guests have paid to attend and they would lose money so unless it's cancelled by coronavirus it has to go ahead. To be honest things have changed since we booked it two years ago and if we chose now we'd pick something a lot more low key, but what can we do.

This is why I'm so torn! Dh(to be) wants to go for the house and just wing it for the wedding, and hope for the best between savings, credit cards and potentially taking out a loan if worst comes to worst. But who knows if we'd get accepted for a loan after taking out a mortgage! I feel so trapped and it's all just such bad timing.

OP posts:

gassylady · 06/10/2020 07:18

Think about what really matters to you. Is it a wedding or is it the marriage? If it’s the later then a dream house in a lovely location would for me be better value than a big do

Ylvamoon · 06/10/2020 07:18

House, every time.

I would think that in the worst case scenario you loose some deposit on the wedding.

With the house you loose your ideal location.

Cumbersome · 06/10/2020 07:22

You say you're 'very much committed' - who to? Venue? Suppliers? what are the actual terms of your contracts with them? Commitments to friends and family don't matter: we're in a pandemic (which certainly won't be over by April - might even be worse) so people will understand that plans change.

In your shoes, I'd get the banns read asap, get married at minimal cost right now and go for the house.

Shelby10 · 06/10/2020 07:23

I’d go for the house and then once in the house look for a low rate loan ... to cover only what I needed for the wedding to keep with the commitments made.

sherbetlemony · 06/10/2020 07:23

I'd go for the house and scale back the wedding. Whilst trying to ensure that the scaling back affects you (so cheaper dress, wedding extras, honeymoon etc) rather than your guests who have already paid.

Where is your wedding? It may well be cancelled anyway and then you'll have nothing if you don't go for the house.

If you decide to cancel the wedding, which you could do, you will definitely need to reimburse your guests who have already paid.

Cumbersome · 06/10/2020 07:24

Just seen your update - how much in total would your families be losing if you were to cancel?

I honestly can't imagine people will want to go amyway. Have you asked them?

ClarencesMum · 06/10/2020 07:25

House.

Crazy to even think otherwise. Your wedding is 1 day.

Original poster

User1478654 · 06/10/2020 07:28

We aren't willing to have any family lose any money, that's non negotiable. The company we've booked it for are doing free cancellation for up to two weeks before ours is booked for, so we're hoping that changes soon to cover our date so everyone could be reimbursed but god knows if they will. We can't rely on it, so we need to make a decision before that. We got the mortgage in principle and are viewing for the third time today so we need to really decide today. It just seems so risky if our wedding goes ahead and we can't afford it, and then we don't get approved for a loan. If any extra expenses come up with the house, we won't have them unless they come out our second go of wedding savings. It just seems impossible and my partners "let's just wing it" attitude is giving me anxiety!

OP posts:

Original poster

User1478654 · 06/10/2020 07:31

My partner usually gets a few bonuses throughout the year, ranging from 2k-10k. Usually can somewhat rely on these but with coronavirus who knows. He's saying if he just gets 1 or 2 of them that there will be no problem but again it's just a risk.

OP posts:

Audreyseyebrows · 06/10/2020 07:33

Go for the house. The wedding is one day.

NoSquirrels · 06/10/2020 07:34

No one in your family able to lend you anything if worse came to worse? How much would you need to borrow - what haven’t you paid yet on the wedding? What downscaling of the package might be possible?

What sort of house is it - how likely that something will come up you need to deal with? If you get a survey & it shows donething wring, renegotiate with vendor or postpone the fix until after you’re married.

NoSquirrels · 06/10/2020 07:39

I’d think of it this way: if the wedding has to be cancelled due to corona, and you don’t have the house you want, you’ll regret it. If you get the house but need to scrimp a bit on the wedding & take on some c/c debt, then you’ll manage by hook or by crook. If your jobs are both secure (& I assume so if you’re thinking of buying) then you’ll have a few tight years but everyone is skint when they buy a house so I’d go for it.

jay55 · 06/10/2020 07:41

Don't miss out on the stamp duty holiday. Go for the house.
And save like buggery to replace the wedding money.

NataliaOsipova · 06/10/2020 07:48

Go for the house. Once you have the house and the mortgage, your lender may allow you a payment holiday in the current Covid circumstances, or to have a little more credit. It’s a risk, but sounds like a pretty calculated one to me and I’d go for it if it really was my dream house.

ClarencesMum · 06/10/2020 07:51

Afe you currently renting? Will your mortgage be less than your rent? More to save!

user1493494961 · 06/10/2020 07:56

Go for the house.

StylishMummy · 06/10/2020 07:58

Go for the house, you'll have a couple of months before you actually complete which will hopefully give you some time to save. Have an ultra low key Christmas & budget strictly in the week to build up savings as much as possible.

ittooshallpass · 06/10/2020 09:18

Definitely go for the house. The wedding can be scaled back - if it's not cancelled first. You can easily get a loan if you need to - banks love to lend you more once you have a mortgage. You may even be able to add the cost to your mortgage and spread the cost for as long as you like.

You won't regret getting the house of your dreams.

anon444877 · 06/10/2020 09:20

Wouldn't your family understand even if they lost money? I would go for the house.

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