Do both your salaries go into one account?

[frolicmum]

I've lived in the UK for 10 years, came here for university and am German, met hubby, stayed etc. Since about 2017 when we bought our first home, we have shared accounts meaning that both our salary go into one account.

All my German friends who are married have this, every single one and not one over here (none German, all British).

Why is there such a cultural difference? I'm just interested to know why after you bought a house, are married and have children, why isn't everything "ours" but still very much my money, your money.

I am just interested how everything is managed & why. Maybe there are people that have one account, it's not like that's the first thing I ask everyone, obviously, I just don't know.

British, 40ish, not married, 2kids, mortgage, both working and earning similar. Once we had kids I insisted on money being pooled (as for the first time, I wasn’t earning more/paying more).

Each get paid into a personal account so we keep the perks then everything transferred into joint account from where we pay bills, jointly save into pots for kids clothes / holidays / childcare / personal clothes etc etc. Joint savings.

What’s important to me is knowing I can make, and access, my own money - but in our relationship we are transparent and collaborative about it.

Friends all do it differently but all the ones arguing about it have much less sharing or transparency. We argued about money too until we pooled: it’s fixed so much.

@Ginger1982 - yes he earns a lot more than me. We have joint bills etc but he pays them all.

'both salaries in one account then we each transfer £x to our personal accounts for our own private spending'
This as above

We have a joint account here too

We have one account. Both salaries go in, savings go straight out. Bills, food, stuff for kids and leisure spending for both of us come out of this same account.
We both have separate accounts too but nothing much goes into either. I dont think you're that unusual.

We have our own accounts into which our own salaries are paid (we roughly earn similar give or take). Then we have a joint bills account for mortgage, utilities etc into which we both pay the same. Childcare coming out of my husbands account as I will be taking some unpaid maternity leave from start April but until then I do a standing order to him for half childcare costs. He will pick up everything in full whilst I’m not being paid.

We have a credit card in my name and he is an additional card holder. All household spending (food, meals out, kids clothes/stuff) goes on that and we split it equally each month. Remaining cash in our accounts is ours to do with as we wish but in reality, we both put what we don’t spend into either savings or investment accounts and it will get used jointly and is effectively joint savings.

Neither of us are massive spenders so I don’t worry about what he chooses to spend on. However, if he does go out of the norm (he once did his private pilots licence which cost about 10K) then he would consult and I would do likewise.

I have a property from pre-marriage (Bought 2003 so 16 years before we married and 11 years before we even met!) which is rented out. So far I’ve taken all rent from that but I also pay all the tax due on it and all expenses/repairs etc but know if I was struggling or we had to do something major to it, would be split with husband as we effectively see it as joint money. It has about 300k equity in it so idea is to sell that in the not too distant future and use some of proceeds towards extending the new property we are looking to buy and put rest into pensions/investments.

In short, even though we do have separate accounts for our salaries, we are working towards a common goal and view all of our money/assets as joint

Everything goes into shared accounts, then we have it so £100 gets moved into each of our separate accounts at the beginning of the month for purely separate spending

We get paid into separate accounts, the ones we had prior to being married. We then have standing orders set up to transfer everything over £400 each into a joint account where all bills and joint spends comes out of. The £400 a month we each have left we can do with what we like and don't get involved in how each other spends their personal money.

We like it this way as feel our finances are shared equally and we also have equal personal spending money. We have discussed changing it and being paid into the joint account then transferring personal spending money out to each of our separate accounts as that would work in the same way but haven't got round to changing it.

A PP makes a very good point that if one of you dies it can be very hard to get access to the other's bank account until Probate has been completed etc .......

My parents always had separate accounts. DH’s parents always had joint accounts. The first row we almost had before we got married was about whether to have separate or joint accounts - he said when you get married you share everything.

So, we have a joint account. There have been times when he’s earned more, times when I’ve earned more, and times when one or other of us haven’t been earning. No need to change banking arrangements.

It’s all our money but separate accounts. Always has been, never had a reason to change it. If anyone is short, the other one transfers some over. But no scrutiny over spending. Works for us.

1st-H: met 1st year at uni, lived together with friends in 2nd & 3rd year - opened a joint account for shared expenses. Rented together after uni, then brought. At some point joint account became the only account we used - salaries going directly into it, everything come out. We had some separate savings but only for tax purposes (ISA's).
Over the 17 years we were together our earnings varied from very little (students), roughly equal, me earning more, him earning more, me not earning on maternity leaves and part time afterwards.
We separated and divorced.

2nd DH: he moved into my house with me and my 2 dc's, he gave me a monthly amount to cover household costs and my lost tax credits, all bills remained in my name. Never shared bank accounts, finances etc. He'd buy about half of the food and pay when going out, we'd go halves on holidays etc. Never had any major purchases while together, his car was on a lease contract, he paid child maint for his children.
He earned about 5 times what I earned.
He died.

Current DP: don't live together and won't for a while. I don't intend to share finances, I'm not sure where we will go with this in the future. He comes over to mine at the weekends but I don't ask him for any contribution, he mainly pays for meals out, we've gone halves on joint holidays, I've paid for holidays with my dcs where I've invited him along although we've then shared costs when away.
I earn part time a bit more than he does full time.

Different approaches at different times of life in different circumstances.

why isn't everything "ours" but still very much my money, your money

Because I’m an individual and financially independent, I’m fifty one now, been with my husband since I was twenty, living together at 23, married at 25, child at 28. Always had my own account even though he asked otherwise. I love him, and him I, but that doesn’t mean I am not a financially independent individual.

We pay into a joint account proportionate to our earnings to cover all joint expenses. Past that we have our own accounts and manage our own finances and fairly equal disposable income left.

I value financial independence and have raised my daughter to feel the same.

@Bluntness100

I'm financially independent, I earn almost double than what DH earns. With my salary alone we could survive and he could be a SAHD, not the other way around though. What I am trying to say is that just because both our salaries go into one account does not mean I am not financially independent, I feel like you're confusing things here.

I don’t think I am confusing things. You aren’t financially independent if you don’t even have your own bank account and your partner has full access to any money you have.

Yes, if you share accounts there is a possibility of your spouse cleaning out the account and absconding with the money. You can go to court to rectify that, but may or may not be successful.

I’m still financially independent with a joint account because if he disappeared tomorrow, I earn enough to pay all the household bills. Yes, losing my savings would be devastating, but I don’t need his income to keep my dd and I fed and housed.

If you keep your finances separate then how do you plan for the future? All savings are ours. We save together. We agree what our targets are and we achieve them together. No one has more money than the other and both equal access to the accounts. Dh just said that joint finances are transparent, bad habits are harder to achieve. Separate finances mask bad habits. Why marry if you don't trust each other 100%. On the other hand if you don't 100% trust DO NOT combine finances

Purpleartichoke

It's interesting to me that you're so blasé about potentially losing all your savings, and assuming that that you'll always have a good job and income.

supadupapupascupa

I think most people do trust their spouse, that's not really the point, is it? The fact of the matter is half of marriages end in divorce and often things get ugly. I'm sure most of those people trusted their partner entirely - I knew my mum trusted my dad and yet she has been well and truly shafted.

Husband and I each have our wages paid into our individual accounts, then put a specified amount into our joint account for household bills and food shopping etc. After that what ever we have left is our own to spend as we wish.

@Purpleartichoke @supadupapupascupa

I completely agree with the two of you.

I'm sorry your mother had to go through this @TheBeesKnee, this does not mean that we will though.

I still believe I'm financially independent because if he did leave, I still have my uni bank account and changing the bank acc my salary is paid into can be done within 3 minutes.
I choose not to do this for many reasons and it doesn't make me any less financially independent than it does you - sorry but I do disagree on this with you. These are your values and that's what we do, we pass them on to our children, however that doesn't make it wrong that my parents and I have chosen a different path.

If I didn't work and didn't have an income, I wouldn't be financially independent as I would rely on my husband to bring home the money.

I’m not blase about losing my savings, I am just admitting it is a slim possibility. It’s not a likely one because even the biggest jerks rarely try to disappear with ALL the money when they leave. I would also be able to show the amount that had been in the savings accounts and since we both have retirement funds (these can’t be joint where I live even though in a divorce they get split 50-50) and equity in the house, I could go to court and get a judgment saying he had to pay back the savings with his portions of those other accounts. Cash savings are only one part of our joint assets.

One joint account for everything is something I see as quite old fashioned - from a time when the majority of women were housewives and had no salary of their own.

We've always had a joint account for bills, plus our own separate current and savings accounts. It works for us.

One joint account for us, ever since we started living together age 22, thirty years ago!

All our savings are in my name as I handle the finances and DH is a much bigger earner these days, but this hasn’t always been the case. I make the financial decisions as DH isn’t really interested as long as he has money in his pocket. As He is the bigger tax payer It makes sense to put savings in my name but these are our savings.

Everything is ours.