Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Do both your salaries go into one account?

98 replies

frolicmum · 09/08/2020 18:12

I've lived in the UK for 10 years, came here for university and am German, met hubby, stayed etc. Since about 2017 when we bought our first home, we have shared accounts meaning that both our salary go into one account.

All my German friends who are married have this, every single one and not one over here (none German, all British).

Why is there such a cultural difference? I'm just interested to know why after you bought a house, are married and have children, why isn't everything "ours" but still very much my money, your money.

I am just interested how everything is managed & why. Maybe there are people that have one account, it's not like that's the first thing I ask everyone, obviously, I just don't know.

OP posts:

PhoneLock · 09/08/2020 18:44

We have a joint account but don't actually us it very often. I think one direct debit goes out of it for some insurance. My husband keeps it topped up.

For everything else, we have separate accounts but they have "our" money in them. There is no his money, my money in our relationship and so don't need complex algorithms to make sure each of us is contributing fairly.

It works for us because we have a similar approach to spending.

SummerHouse · 09/08/2020 18:45

A joint account is unnecessary for us. His money is my money and vice versa. Doesn't matter who pays for what as is all our money. I like having my own account and I know exactly what's gone in and out. I really don't see a single benefit to us in a joint account. Why would we bother?

Cuddling57 · 09/08/2020 18:49

We have separate accounts but both pay into a joint account each month for bills etc.
Whilst we treat all money as 'ours' I feel it's important to have your own money.
Marriage doesn't always go to plan and sometimes people have very different spending habits.
More than once in my life having my own money has saved me and given me the confidence I needed to get out of unhappy situations.

bathorshower · 09/08/2020 18:51

Fully joint finances here, with everything in joint accounts bar pensions and tax efficient savings (which have to be in one name only). I earn a lot less, but have always had full and free access to all our family money.

However, our income at the moment is more than we need, meaning that if either of us spends on an 'extra', it won't affect what the other can do, and my card will still work in Tesco. We're both naturally frugal; I know of other couples where one spends all they can and the other is a saver have found that a single joint account doesn't work. And if one of you has debt or gambling issues, then you'll need a different set up, so I can see why some have that.

supadupapupascupa · 09/08/2020 18:51

I agree op. One current account. One savings account, we are married, it’s joint funds x

HumphreyGoodmanswife · 09/08/2020 18:52

Joint account ever since we got married. I had quite a few thousand savings, he had just got his first job after uni, overdraft instead of savings. For years I earned the higher salary. Everything into one account then out into savings accounts.

For the last 8 years he's been a high earner and I've been a SAHM. Still share everything in the one account.

Neither of us has ever felt we should 'ask' when we want to make a big purchase or felt resentment at the other for doing so.

We are in a marriage, share everything, both equals. We both 'earn' what we own - we bring different things into the relationship. I can honestly say we have never had a cross word about money in over 20 years of marriage.

BertieBotts · 09/08/2020 18:52

Two accounts here, we are actually the opposite of you, British living in Germany! But we use YNAB to manage our budget, so there's one "pot" and we just use our own cards when making a purchase or if I run out of money in my account (which happens more frequently as I am paid less) I use DH's card.

We had both set up accounts separately before we were married and didn't see a point in closing them. We could set up a joint account, but we've never got round to it and it's never been a problem.

With my ex who is my older son's father and the first person I set up home with, we had separate personal accounts and a joint account which we used for bills etc. We would each transfer an amount into this account and never spent from it because it was to cover fixed bills only. To be honest it was a bit of a pain when we split up as I had to get the account frozen. So although I don't see DH and I splitting up, I think I would be a bit wary about actually having salary going into the same account.

When I was a single parent I did similar - one bank account I considered my "personal" one and one which I considered my "bills" account, had all my direct debits coming from that one and never touched it. The food shopping etc came out of my personal account.

In Germany, people tend to be in university for longer than the UK, don't they? So perhaps when you get your first bank account you are likely to already be in a stable relationship and therefore would go for a joint one. I had my first UK bank account from the age of 16 when I got my first Saturday job, I opened the "bills" one the day I left my ex-partner.

The other factor might be fees - it tends to be free to hold a current account in the UK, so people can have as many as they like whereas in Germany I find most banks charge a fee unless you have a salary being paid into the account, so it would make sense that people want to reduce costs by having as few bank accounts as possible. Although DH and I having accounts with different banks does usually mean that at least one of us can find a free ATM to use! Not an issue in the UK, though.

LividLaughLovely · 09/08/2020 18:53

Separate here.

Second marriage for both of us. Both very independent. Never even really discussed a joint account.

When I was pregnant he worked out how short I’d be in the mat leave months and transferred me extra to mean I wasn’t asking him for spends.

We take it in turns buying groceries etc. If one of us buys something that would be a shared expense, we just transfer half to the other.

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/08/2020 18:55

Is banking free in Germany? In many parts of Europe you need to pay fees for each account you have, which is why Joint accounts are seen as the most cost-effective option. As banking works differently here it’s far more common to have multiple accounts.

grandmasterstitch · 09/08/2020 18:57

We got married at 22 and 24 and have had a joint account since then. I assumed that was fairly standard

DelurkingAJ · 09/08/2020 18:57

We have both a joint and our own. Had them before we got together (mid 20s) and just opened the joint when we moved in together. Bills, mortgage etc out of the joint and we pay the same amount in. When I earned more I argued it should be proportional but DH wouldn’t have it. So I used to buy the food from my account to even things up in my head. When I was on mat leave we rejigged things so that I had as much cash left as I needed. But things have never been ridiculously tight (even when we had exactly £1k post tax and rent of £665 we always did fine) and we’re very fortunate now.

Parker231 · 09/08/2020 19:02

I don’t think it matters how money is organised so long as the personal money for each of you is the same and that there are no secrets as to how much you each earn, save, pensions.

Choochoose · 09/08/2020 19:02

Nope, it goes into our own accounts, and then we have a joint account for bills etc and a joint savings account which we put money into, DH puts more in as he earns more. Anything else we have left we spend as we please, and for big purchases even if it's for only one of us we will pitch together if needed. It works well for us, I like paying half of the bills and when I was on maternity leave he paid all of them; the savings benefit us both and he doesn't mind paying extra in. We talk about purchases using it though, and then our own savings or left over money we do whatever with. If one of us is running short on what we need we will help eachother out. It is the same as a joint account really, but I prefer having seperate even though he isn't arsed either way.

Choochoose · 09/08/2020 19:03

Our 'spare' money each month is about the same.

MuchTooTired · 09/08/2020 19:06

We’ve two joint current accounts, one for paying bills and the other for day to day spending. We’ve also got multiple joint saving accounts and I’ve a couple of different ISAs in my name only purely because I’m the one who manages all the finances.

DH and I are happy with it, makes life much easier for us although I know it doesn’t work for everyone!

Whathappenedtothelego · 09/08/2020 19:06

We are in our 40s and have had a joint account since we married. Both salaries go in, all bills and spending goes out.
Savings are individual though - an equal amount into each every year.

HappydaysArehere · 09/08/2020 19:11

When you get older I would advise anyone to have joint accounts. Much easier if one of you gets ill or dies.

nitgel · 09/08/2020 19:11

We share bills but have own accounts. We are separate people I would hate sharing an account. This has worked for us for 31 years so whatever works for you fine.

Aria2015 · 09/08/2020 19:13

We have everything go into one account. I can't remember when we did it, maybe after getting engaged? Works well for us just having 'our' money. We don't police the other on what we spend our only agreement is to discuss any purchases over a certain amount.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 09/08/2020 19:14

Yep. When DH first moved into my house we set up a joint account where we both paid in a set amount to cover bills, food and any other joint expenses. We kept our own accounts for our own frivolous spending, and also for our own mortgages. So I paid the house we lived in, and he paid for his old flat which he then rented out.

When we got married we switched to get our salaries paid into the joint account as well as both mortgages and we closed both our current accounts and opened up a joint savings too. It seems of my friends, most have joint accounts with both salaries going in, but some have completely separate finances too.

AteAllTheAfterEights · 09/08/2020 19:15

Early 30s here - both salaries in one account then we each transfer £x to our personal accounts for our own private spending

june2007 · 09/08/2020 19:16

No we have individual accounts. Our joint is for the tax credits and if we choose to mmove some money in there to help each other or an agreed saving plan.

KitKatKit · 09/08/2020 19:17

@SummerHouse

Exactly this. Been married 5 years, got a house/mortgage together and finances are totally separate. We like it that way.

Ginger1982 · 09/08/2020 19:17

@Parker231

I don’t think it matters how money is organised so long as the personal money for each of you is the same and that there are no secrets as to how much you each earn, save, pensions.

Hmm, not sure I agree with this. We each pay a set amount each month into our joint account to cover all bills. DH earns more than I do but he has pre-marital debts to pay out of his 'personal' money. How would it be feasible for us both to have exactly the same left over as 'personal' money at the end of the month?

Ginger1982 · 09/08/2020 19:21

@PanamaPattie

We don't share an account. I have my salary paid into my own account - so does DH. He pays for everything.

Does he earn a lot more than you? Do you not contribute at all?

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.