Not sure wether my mum is being unreasonable

[Kyle19]

I'm 18, not working at the moment, and still living at home so financially I'm relying on my parents. My mum has been keeping on at me about how much money I've been spending on alcohol, clothes, food etc. She even restricts me on when I can drink the alcohol that I BOUGHT and how much at a time I drink of it. She said that if I carry on spending this much money, she will confiscate my bank card. She says that as I'm getting my money from her she has the right to do that but

1. I don't get the money for nothing, I work my ass off for it and 2. If it's in the bank account IN MY NAME, and I'm 18 then surely she would need my consent to take that money?

I would never intentionally speak to her in a way that I thought that was disrespectful, but she's telling me that I have been. I speak to all my other family and friends in exactly the same way and I always apologise to them afterwards as I always have this gut-wrenching feeling that I've annoyed them but they never seem to know what on earth I'm talking about and I end up humiliating myself.

How do I calmly speak to her about this?

Sounds like your Mum thinks your drinking is a problem. Why are you even drinking anything at home at your age. I'd say that is a matter for concern.

Viviennemary because if I didn't drink at home, I'd hardly ever drink at all. Only time I ever go to a pub is occasionally on a sunday afternoon with my dad and grandad or every 3-4 months at a social event with workmates. I don't have any friends outside of work like most 18 year olds do. Due to my autism I've always struggled socially, and the only person who ever knew that was my mum until I started working at the pre-school. I have a four year brain delay, which obviously doesn't effect me physically but it has a huge effect on the way I think and communicate with other people.

Hi.
The autism does explain a few things. Don't use your age to justify irresponsible behaviour.

The drinking isn't good, I think your mum is right in that you need to cut down. Research how many units is safe.

I don't think taking your card off you is right but she would be right to stop giving you money.

If she didn't care then she wouldn't say anything.

Why is she unhappy about your spending habits? Can you see why she feels that way and do you know what she'd prefer you to spend the money on?

Can you work out a better option of how you could spend the money that you would both be happy with?

Driving lessons (eventually....)
Course materials and books etc.

Do you have to tell Tax Credits/Child Tax Credits if you take over your joint mortgage in your single name??

Would you not prefer to try and get a job rather than look after 4 children?

Just how much alcohol are we talking about here. I assumed it's a fair amount or else your Mum wouldn't be worried. I don't think it's a good idea for a person as young as you to get into the habit of drinking regularly at home. Your mum isn't trying to be horrible here she is concerned. That's how it seems to me anyway,

Gingerears123 I've got absolutely no idea what that means

Shinebright72 to be honest, no. I absolutely adore them all and we love spending time together

I think gingerears post is on the wrong thread.

Hi Kyle. I might be about the age your mum is and from here 18 looks really young. You say you are a little delayed in your mental development too so I think your mum is probably trying to protect you and help you see how to live well and sensibly as an adult. You do seem to sometimes drink quite a lot and I expect your mum wants to help you try and keep your drinking at more sensible levels. It sounds like your mum is also trying to help you learn how to speak to people in a way which helps them see your good points so you can develop more friends in the future. What is it you want to talk to her about? What would you want to achieve from a conversation? Is it to be able to access your money more? I wonder if it's worth calmly sitting with her and discussing what money you have and what you think it needs to be spent on? Perhaps she is worried that you will spend money you need for college or other important things? If you are developmentally about 14 in some ways (like you say) then your mum might worry that you won't plan ahead with your finances well and then might get really horribly stressed in the future.

You've posted before about your mum worrying about your drinking.
This seems to be a long-standing problem and, if I remember rightly, it was because you have a health condition?

Whilst she cannot tell you how to spend the money once she's giving it to you, if you continue to spend it on alcohol then she can just stop funding you.
Why are you so keen to have alcohol? It seems to be a deep-rooted problem.

*given it to you.

I've just seen your other post. 5-6 bottles of lager whilst sitting indoors on a normal night is unnecessary.
If it were my child I'd be getting concerned too.

It's become enough of a issue that you've made two threads about your mum bringing up her concerns and asking how you can talk her round to allowing your drinking.
That is a worry.

Aside from the disagreement over how you spend the money, do you not think you should stop wasting so much money. I spent a fair amount of money in my youth on clothes etc and it took me a good few years before I realised what an utter waste it was.

Troll alert. This thread is not real. Because if it is, OP just have a whole new meaning to snowflake and re inforced the millennials/Gen Z stereotype. Someone get the violins out, what a hard life.