Inheritance

[butterfly359]

What would you do?
I became a stay at home parent when I was pregnant with my second child 18 years ago, my husband has always worked hard and paid for 90% of bills etc, over the years I have worked as holiday cover for a cleaner and I've used the money I've earned on decorating and buying things we need for the family and house.
My nan died last year 😞 and I'm due to receive some money from the sale of her house, my husband says I should put it into his savings account (with his inheritance money) and he will add my name to the account. My worry is that, I've not got a pension or any savings of my own and I would like to save this money for when we are older to make life a bit easier. Husband is getting the arse with me when we talk about it we just don't agree. We have joint bank accounts except his savings account and I think our inheritance money should stay our own but husband says I'm being selfish and we should share it all, he has always made all our financial decisions with him being the main earner and over the years when my nan has given me money, telling me it's part of my inheritance I've always shared it and it's been spent on what ever we've needed carpets all through the house, porch built, new furniture etc.
But now I'm torn part of me thinks I should share it with him as he's paid for everything, but I know there will be nothing left within a few years, & I just want some financial security for when I'm older
Thank you

Just put it into your own savings account. I had something similar with my DH (although I am working FT). I just said I want to keep it for a special holiday...
And if it is over 85K (I think) it's not guaranteed to be protected if the bank should go into administration.

Put it in a pension plan then

Why do you think there will be nothing left? Has your husband planned for retirement? Do you make financial decisions together? I would have put my inheritance in a joint savings account because of how we did our finances - my husband was completely on top of investments and totally transparent and both our names were on everything, plus he never made any big decisions without us discussing it.
You don't owe your inheritance to your husband for supporting you but I think you need a long talk with him about your concerns about the future.

Invest it properly in an ISA or pension plan or something.

But really, I think all money coming into a marriage is for the benefit of the family, not for individuals in the family. I think "your" money and "his" should pooled.

Put it in your own savings account or put a lump sum in a pension.

Personally I'd put it all in a pension so it's tied up.

Is your name on the mortgage or house deeds? If not then I wouldn't be happy with handing over the money. You should also have some provision set up for your old age.

He hasn't shared his inheritance money, has he? He has his own savings account, how come you don't get one?

I'd be worried he is either controlling or planning to leave you. Otherwise, what difference does it make if it's in your name and he loves you and you are always staying together?

If you have any doubts about your husband OP, you will protect yourself considerably by making sure the inheritance stays in your own name only:

www.divorce.co.uk/your-finances/inheritance

Put it in you're own account and get a full time job so you're financially independent op sounds as if theres an unfair balance in you're relationship.

You are married? The name the savings are in is less important if you are. When do you plan to rejoin employment? Will you want to do any training? Start a business? If so an ISA would let you access the cash for that. And discussing which moneys are for that. If your husband has lots of savings in his name he could be paying tax on the income. Putting savings in your name is well overdue, and putting all savings into joint names might be sensible.

Dont put it into his account. Why did he not put your name on the account before this inheritance?? There's absolutely nothing wrong in securing your own future. Please don't give in.

@Pipandmum I say that because there is nothing left of my other inheritance money and he loves buying cars and sports motorbikes, I don't mind him spending his money on them but not mine
He has always made the financial decisions as it's always been his money and he usually tells me after he's made his mind up to spend it.... I want to put the money away for at least 10 years for our future not just mine although I will relax a bit knowing I have my own money in the bank

@MrsJoshNavidi I don't want to keep the money just for me my plan is to save it for at least 10 years so we have some savings for our future (I'm 43 now)

@2015newstart non of our houses have been in my name, it's never really bothered me until the past few years, as I'm now thinking about when we are older

@OneEpisode I've been with my husband for 23 years and married for 14, I'm a chef by trade and while my youngest has been in the last year of school I've started training courses to get up to date with food safety etc. And started to put together a business plan My plan is to open up a tea room/cafe.

You should be on the houses really.

Is be really careful you don't end up on a situation where any profits from your business are family profits, but any losses or initial capital to stump up are yours.

It sounds like you need some proper financial advice.

It sounds like his attitude is that he gets to decide to do with the money that he brings in because he brought it in and he gets to decide what to do with your money because you are a team

Which is it? Do you get equal say because you are a team or do you get to decide what to do with the money you each bring in?

I think your pension idea is an excellent one

Apologies for all the mistakes above but I hope you get the point - he doesn’t get to have it both ways! Either you are a team who makes decisions together or you decide how to spend your own money separately but he can’t just dictate everything to you.

So when it was his inheritance it was in an account in his name only, but now its your inheritance it's 'family money'. Is it a lot? And the houses are not in your name. He sounds financially controlling if he makes all the financial decisions as its 'his money. If you have been a SAHM and I'm guessing doing most of the cleaning/cooking etc and some part time work then you have been contributing to the family, just mainly unpaid work.
I would question him as to why your name was not on the account before and is not on the houses. Definitely keep your money separate.

So you have enabled him to work by taking care of his children for him and you're not even named on the house? DH works continental shifts and we live in a small village with one car between us meaning there's no chance for me to work. We can't get childcare for three kids that wouldn't be a huge waste of money paying for days we wouldn't need to use. (DH's shifts flip day to night, then 2 days on, 3 off then 3 on and 2 off) but it's agreed that he can do this job earning the big bucks or he goes to day shifts every week day earning half as much and I will get the same. Even with a second wage, after childcare it would be more hours for less pay. So anything DH earns is ours equally. No way would I hand everything over knowing I had earned no security over the 14 or 23 years.

With joint savings he can take it all without your knowledge or consent

Put in your own account

Do not under any circumstances put it in his account. Even if its joint he can still spend it.

I say that because there is nothing left of my other inheritance money and he loves buying cars and sports motorbikes

An account in your name!

Or tell him you are putting it in a pension to be efficient.

Your account. He sounds shite with spare cash..