Not a begging post- need advice.

[user83638]

Please note before I start. This is not a post for financial help. Or for sympathy. Just needing advice.

I am absolutely skint right now. Due to various reasons such as my ex has stopped paying maintenance for no apparent reason, a few hefty unexpected bills.

I work full time, I've cancelled Netflix/virgin packages etc.

But I cannot afford to put the heating on right now. What are your tips for keeping the children warm? (They are 4 and 6) we all sleep in onsies and slippers in the same bed to keep warm at night. It's the early morning which are almost unbearable !

I cannot tell my family as I am so embarrassed that I can't provide for my children. Any money saving tips / ways to keep warm and cheap food ideas are really welcome.

Thank you for reading.

Have you spoken to your energy provider and asked for emergency credit?
I never have my heating on in the morning or overnight (also still have windows open) but we're quite a warm family! Can you heat one room, close the doors and camp out in there while it's cold?
Foodwise, pasta, soups, jacket potatoes with beans, porridge etc are all warming and filling. Do you have any unused nectar/tesco points you could spend?

@Todaythiscouldbe
Thank you for responding. we live in a really old, terribly insulated freezing house. so its pretty terrible.

I didnt think of checking my shop points, i will do that now. Thank you for the advice

Put blankets under you, on top of the mattress, to help keep you insulated. Addextra layers under onesies, vests, leggings etc. to add extra insultation.

Hot water bottles could keep you warm too. Try food banks for supplies.

Call your supplier for emergency credit. Apply for a 0% interest credit card since you are in work. See if you can apply for Universal Credit and get an advance (it's a loan) on it.

A quick blast with the hairdryer under the duvet before I got out of bed to get dressed helped me face the cold. And then layer up. I understand OP its rough sometimes, especially in the cold.

If using the oven I would leave the door open a little longer and it would warm up the kitchen for when we ate dinner. Didnt seem to waste that much electricity that way. Hot water bottles and tea warmed us up too. Good luck OP.

Tell your family. I'd be gutted if someone in my family felt they couldn't ask me for help through embarrassment.

What are your outgoings? Have you anything you could sell on fbook? Toys and games that the kids have grown out of?

Honestly I’d tell your family, for the sake of embarrassment over being bitterly cold?!

Be honest, say their dad is refusing any maintenance, Christmas has hit harder than you realised and that you need some £ to tie you over until next pay day.

Also mince stew was filling and cheapish (and actually delicious) mince, gravy, carrots and chopped up potatoes slow cooked with buttered bread. Better if you have the extras already in (onions, salt, pepper etc) but can be a cheap meal. Pasta with butter or mayo mixed through, chopped up cheap frozen sausages throughout. It's not glamorous but can be filling.

Are you on a prepayment meter OP?

You really need to swallow your pride and ask your family for help.

Clingfilm on the windows to stop draughts and draught excluders (Rolled up towels or whatever) in front of doors.
Layer up definitely and socks better than slippers in bed. Go to bed like you’re camping do gloves and hats too if need be.
Tinned meat, potatoes and veg or baked beans make a delicious but pretty cheap dinner. Pasta definitely good too and mince in gravy with veg can be a stew with bread or dumplings, a pie with pastry on top and mash or just wish mash by itself. Cheap and filling and easy to bulk out with lentils etc.
Lastly when you get out of bed in the morning put something cheerful on the radio and do a morning dance and jump around with the kids. This is what we’ve done with the kids on freezing camping trips and it gets the blood flowing and warms you up nicely.
But really OP tell your family. You have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about and they’d probably be mortified if they thought you hadn’t asked for help because you thought that, I know would.

wow. thank you so much for all the tips, I will be taking them all on board,

It is hopefully a very temporary thing for me. I have asked at work for some overtime, but i wont get paid that until the month after. I have also contacted the csa to get the Ex to pay for the kids. which should get me back on my feet.

You are all right and i should tell my parents, I am sure they would help, its just a pride thing i guess !

@crustycrab . That is my plan for this evening - to go through all my clothes and kids toys and sell as much as possible .

@InsertFunnyUsername great food suggestions and advice, thank you
@Inforthelonghaul - love the up and music on idea, will be trying this tomorrow morning, thank you

Just tell your parents! And do the fbook selling. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your ex does though

A hot water bottle makes SO much difference. If you can be warm when you go to sleep you can maintain that through the night if the duvet is on well.

I'd also vote for making sure one room is warm so that you have somewhere comfortable to sit.

Are you in walking distance of a town? If yes, get to free entry places for warmth like libraries, bookshops and museums.

Please ask your parents OP. This is not at all your fault so nothing to be ashamed of. I get the pride thing but I’d be devastated if my family or friends didn’t feel they could come to me and we’re genuinely suffering for it cold and hungry.

You could also approach school/nursery/HV/GP for a food bank voucher to tide you over with food for a few days freeing up some £ for the heating.

It’s a rubbish time of year to be struggling please do reach out. Your Ex is a bellend, hopefully CSA can sort it ASAP.

Can't help with heating but my cheap meals are:
Cheap beans on toast. Cheap grated cheese on top.
Egg and chips from the freezer
Frozen mince is cheap with a bag you can do spaghetti bol one night and another night mince and gravy or a pie or chilli
By frozen veg Inc. Onions and peppers
Omlette, frozen peas and onions work well with a bit of ham or bacon and cheese.
Try the market for very cheap fruit.
Value fruit juice is cheap and good
Chick pea curry is nice, value rice again is great.
Couple of tins of mixed beans make a great bean chilli. Cheap tin of tomatoes are good, again use the frozen veg.
Pancakes are filling, rice pudding are cheap to make and very filling for puddings. Pancakes can be good for breakfast too.
Claim free school meals?

@crustycrab you are right, I am seeing my Dad tonight. I will try and speak to him

@Downton I have never had to even think about food banks in the past. It is something I will look into to see if it is somehting I can get help with

@Raver84 Brilliant food suggestions. thank you so much. All children in infant school get the free school meals in my county. (not sure ifs it a country wide thing?) so that is really helping at the moment

I would be gutted if my kids couldn't ask me for help.

CSA dont exist anymore. They're now the child maintenance service. You should probably know that if you've already called them.

@Lulu Apologies for the incorrect acronym. I am 90% certain everyone else on this thread knew what i was referring to

@Lulualla harsh.

We all know what you meant OP.