Not a begging post- need advice.

[user83638]

Please note before I start. This is not a post for financial help. Or for sympathy. Just needing advice.

I am absolutely skint right now. Due to various reasons such as my ex has stopped paying maintenance for no apparent reason, a few hefty unexpected bills.

I work full time, I've cancelled Netflix/virgin packages etc.

But I cannot afford to put the heating on right now. What are your tips for keeping the children warm? (They are 4 and 6) we all sleep in onsies and slippers in the same bed to keep warm at night. It's the early morning which are almost unbearable !

I cannot tell my family as I am so embarrassed that I can't provide for my children. Any money saving tips / ways to keep warm and cheap food ideas are really welcome.

Thank you for reading.

@Lulualla oh come off it. i have made it VERY clear this is not a thread asking for money. It in my header!

I came on hear to ask for a little bit of help and advice in a time where i am struggling - NOT for money !

Please tell your dad. I'd be devastated if my kids were in your position.

Posted too soon and couldn't tell me.

lulualla most people still call it the csa.

But I think you know that and like being a cf.

Have you got hot water bottles, we sit with them in the evenings, afternoons any time. Makes such a difference having warm hands.

@thesunwillout I have a couple of the microwave bear type things for my DC. they are not too great. But i will look at the proper hot water bottles. thank you for your advice

@yogo I will see him later when i pick my children up after work. I will speak to him. I am sure he will be really helpful, and annoyed I didn't come to him sooner. Sometimes asking for help is a really difficult thing to do

luella I call it the CSA even though I use it. Unclench, ffs, trollhunting is against mn rules.

OP, sorry that you're going through this. Cheap oats for porridge in the morning is a good one, because it really does warm you up. Put tomorrow's clothes on the bottom sheet of the bed, cover them with a spare duvet, sleep on that with duvets on top of you. It'll keep the clothes from getting damp and you can get changed before you get up, and into clothes that are warm.

I think you are being unfair on your children by it telling your parents. Their needs need to come before you worrying about being 'embarrassed'. It's good you have decided to talk to them.

Keeping warm - try using room specific heating so an il filled radiator - in the morning - many people have them just in case and you could loan one if you asked around - try not to get a fan heater though as they eat electricity. In terms of other things to save money make sure that when you do cook maybe batch so into the fridge or freezer for day 2 and you just need to reheat.

If you have the oven on fill it up - so maybe do some baked spuds that can another day just be reheated in microwave add beans and cheese and its a filling tea for kids and you.

Easy and filling puddings are things like crumble - which can also be put in the oven to fill it and stored in fridge for day 2 or 3. We love tinned fruit and greek yoghurt - £1 for a big tub and again easy way to get fruit into a child (so long as not in syrup as high in sugar)

Scrambled egg and toast is good - can add beans as well

Tuna pasta bake is easy to throw together as well.

Duvets are hollow fibre usually and if you add a cover on top of that they retain heat much better - so bit old fashioned but an eiderdown or a blanket on top are good.

Make sure you use curtains and draw them as they will hold in the heat.

Plug any draughts you can so use door sausages, shut doors to rooms, defo use hot water bottles and maybe refresh them when you are going to bed for the kids.

Food wise I would def try and get yourself onto the food bank lists it can really help with some of the basics. I would also have a chat with school and explain the situation partly so they can be on the look out for things with the kids but also they may have emergency funds they can access as well.

@InsertFunnyUsername can you give more details about your mince and potatoes recipe please? When you say slow cooked, do you mean in a slow cooker?

OP, I've been exactly where you are due to ex not paying maintenance, I hope you get sorted soon

Hello everyone,

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circumstances, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

When I was struggling and couldn’t put the heat in I had an electric blanket, the new ones costs very little money to run and we were all in the same bed. Lots of homemade soups made in the slow cooker, slept in pyjamas, with layers and socks on. At one point I was boiling the kettle to wash with. I couldn’t afford to have the boiler fixed. Hope it picks up for you, I also call is Csa out of habit

Just to be clear. I really am not asking for any financial help atall. Just advice. But completely understand why MNHQ has to intervene.

Thank you to everyone who has given decent advice.

And yes, I have been a member for many years, and have name changed for this post.

Asda always have hot water bottles fairly cheap.

Please ask your family for help you are a mother yourself and imagine if one of your children needed help but was too embarrassed to come to you for help. Family are meant to be there for each other. I would put my heating on and forget any bills right now heating and feeding yourself and children is your top priority. Good luck x

What kind of heating do you have, have your radiators got individual controls, can you turn of ones that aren't used/needed as much and only heat the living room at night and bedroom in the morning?

Cling film or bubble wrap on the windows traps air stopping heat loss.

Check letterbox and keyholes for draughts and cover if needed. Rolled up towels can be used as draught excluders.

Close curtains and tuck behind radiator to let heat out.

Fill a flask with a hot drink at bedtime and have a cuppa in the morning before getting out of bed.

Put a duvet under your bedsheet and use a top sheet and blankets over your duvet. Dressing gowns, towels, coats, jumpers or whatever can be used as well.

I wouldn't sleep in a onesie, I prefer fleecy or thermal jammies as it means not stripping for going to the toilet.

Do you have a slow cooker? You can make porridge the night before and it is warm and ready for you in the morning, they don't use much electricity. You can leave a stew, chilli, bolognese, on when going to work and have a hot filling meal ready when you come in.

First things first january is an awful month in general but for your ex to be a prick as well. Poor you. To echo everyone else tell your parents asap. They will not want to think of their child and grandchildren living like that.

For warmth check if you can get an emergency credit with gas supplier until payday they might let you. Hot water bottles, layers under the onesies and a hot meal before bed usually porridge or toast helps keep you warm. If you dont have blankets consider towels on top of you under the duvet as extra layers?

For food do you have a slow cooker as i hear they are low on energy and you can throw anything in them.

Porridge
Beans on jacket potatoes
Cheap stews using frozen veg gravey granuals potatoes and any meat cuts you can afford
Anything with eggs.
If you can look uo world war 2 menus as they are cheap but have added minerals in thats what im looking at.

Look on facebook free pages for your local area. People get rid of all sorts that could benefit you.

Keep doors shut in rooms and curtains shut in rooms not in use to help with hold any heat.

If you have working radiators which i assume not if you have no heating but in future reference silver foil behind helps throw out more heat. Make sure theres no droughts. Do you have carpets? If not try find free or 2nd hand cheap rugs to help make the floors warmer when you have to stand on them. Hot drinks in a thermos for the morning is a great idea from a pp.

www.zerowastenear.me/community-fridges-surplus-food Try and see if there is a community fridge near you, it’s not a food bank it’s for anyone and a lot of supermarkets donate food, our one had half a ton of Lidl Christmas stock as they had to swap over to new stock. You don’t even give a name just get the stuff you take weighed.

@Lulualla

Do fuck off, there’s a dear...

OP In sorry you’re in this situation. I’ve got a 3yo and struggling financially at the moment too.
Making a big pan of soup with lots of veggies in, and cheese toasties on the side (or beans with cheese toasties if the kids won’t eat soup) are great filling meals.

Put bread and butter on the table with meals to help kids fill up.

Not sure how old the kids are, but if little, can they sleep in your room for a couple of weeks in bed with you? Make that the room you heat, and spin it as a big treat ...

Sorry it’s so shit. Your ex is a wazzock.