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Original poster

Paying lodge

31 replies

Cccsss011 · 28/12/2019 21:46

Moving in with mum long story she wants 100 pounds a week for gas elec water and a 40 pound per month increase in council tax and 50 for food she has no mortgage and comfortable pension is that fair?

OP posts:

Original poster

Cccsss011 · 28/12/2019 21:47

As in 50 per week for food in that 100 per week

OP posts:

LittleLongDog · 28/12/2019 21:49

Are you also paying her rent?

What are your circumstances? (Are you working? Are you an adult?)

Original poster

Cccsss011 · 28/12/2019 21:51

Yes I work earn 200 per week /adult

OP posts:

RoonyTunes · 28/12/2019 21:51

So £100 a week for rent, bills and food and you are seriously thinking that is too much? You sound incredibly entitled.

christmasathome · 28/12/2019 21:54

£100 per week all in? Sounds a good deal to me.

Okbutno · 28/12/2019 21:56

How old are you? Are you working full time? Or studying too? Just 200 per week isn't lots to earn so 100 feels like a lot but isn't really.

orchidsarebeautiful · 28/12/2019 21:56

Cheap all inclusive of bills rental starts at £670 near me and that doesn't include food! I think that's fair. She'll be getting a bit extra a month (£200) and you'll be better off overall.

Okbutno · 28/12/2019 22:00

Is she going to cook all of the food? I'd rather cook and shop for myself.

Elieza · 28/12/2019 22:01

Sorry, you are saying weekly and monthly and it’s confusing. Can you clarify it all in weekly amounts please, is it;
£100 a week re gas etc
£10 a week re council tax
£12 a week re food

Total £122. Is that correct? So you still have £78 a week for travelling expenses and sundries? That’s probably around what I have left if I didn’t have a loan to pay. You’ll be fine.

MarinaMarinara · 28/12/2019 22:04

I don’t really think you’d be able to live anywhere else for less than that tbh so I’m not sure you have much choice. £200/week seems a low wage - are you training? Could you take on more hours? What’s your plan longer term?

LittleLongDog · 28/12/2019 22:07

Have you looked online to see what it would cost you to rent elsewhere? I imagine it would be a lot more.

There’s a 50/30/20 rule (apparently): 50% or your earnings on needs, 30% on wants and 20% on savings. But, tbh, you need to have a healthy salary and a great rental/mortgage really in order to be able to achieve that!

BackforGood · 28/12/2019 22:21

If you mean £100 for everything, then yes, I don't think that is unreasonable, but it depends so much on circumstances.

If you only bring home £200 pw, then it seems a lot to you, but it is also going to be a lot cheaper than renting elsewhere.

Do you have costs like an expensive commute or needing to run a car to get to work ? If so I might be more generous than your Mum, but that said, it might depend on the other circumstances which have dictated you are in a position where you are having to return home.
(Not expecting you to tell us, but it might well influence my thinking if one of my dc wanted to return home).

Original poster

Cccsss011 · 29/12/2019 14:45

Having to return home husband abusive work min wage job nights wage 800 to 900 pcm no extra hours available and no expenses to rent a room in a house around 80 to 90 but have food to buy know I'll end up buying food I want anywats

OP posts:

LittleLongDog · 29/12/2019 16:31

Well done for leaving! Is your mum otherwise supportive? I’d try to think of it as the start of something new. And keep it as temporary as possible!

Okbutno · 29/12/2019 17:59

Are you entitled to any benefits to top up your income? Well done for leaving. I'd ask if you can buy your own food and offer to cook some joint meals.
If I was leaving an abusive relationship my mum wouldn't want me to contribute beyond any out of pocket expenses (or at all) is your mum supportive?

Original poster

Cccsss011 · 29/12/2019 18:17

She is but I was hopeing for less only afew years ago she was in same boat and I got 30 quid towards Bill's and 30 for food!!!

OP posts:

Okbutno · 29/12/2019 18:26

I suppose the more you pay her the less you have to start fresh. So even a rental deposit is a a lot on your salary. Are you entitled to social housing due to leaving an abusive relationship?

Original poster

Cccsss011 · 29/12/2019 18:33

Idea is to stay longterm no kids xx

OP posts:

willowmelangell · 29/12/2019 19:25

It does seem reasonable to me. Do you get wifi/broadband, tv at your mum's? When you were with your husband, were you familiar with all the bills that go into running a household? I am not being difficult! Sometimes wives are kept in the dark about wages and costs. Other times wives are expected to fund everything. You mention abuse. Was some of that financial?
On a practical level, your mums water bill will go up. Not so much the electric, the light is on no matter how many are in the room. The gas will go up, (extra hot water, extra heating). You have identified food as a source of friction. Will you get your own cupboard or fridge shelf? How many times a week will you cook for the two of you?
Are you bringing any debts with you? Credit card, mobile phone, insurance, car....
Very well done on getting away!

Iponb · 29/12/2019 20:06

Maybe your mom is trying to teach you a lesson. Seems fair to most of the people but you think it's too much, maybe you were expecting much less just because it's your mother

misspiggy19 · 29/12/2019 20:14

If my daughter was leaving an abusive relationship I sure as hell wouldn’t charge her more than half her wages to live with me.

Okbutno · 29/12/2019 21:52

I agree @misspiggy19

Do you feel a resentment that she doesn't need to charge this op but is?

MarinaMarinara · 29/12/2019 22:33

Hugely well done in getting away OP, that must have been incredibly hard. On the money front. Tricky - as I said before I am not e you’d get it much less elsewhere - from your subsequent post I can see you had already looked into just a room in a shared house but (I would hope) being at your mum’s would be more secure and feel more like home. Does your mum know what you earn?

Original poster

Cccsss011 · 30/12/2019 03:59

Yes she know but I also know I wont spend nowhere near 50 quid on food a week and I'd rather shop for myself or just say let's go shopping and I'll pay half xx

OP posts:

Purpleartichoke · 30/12/2019 04:32

If you want to keep separate food and cook for yourself, that isn’t unreasonable, but you will need to agree on a kitchen schedule and that can get tricky. If your willing to cook off-peak or very simply than that would probably be easiest.

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