DH has no intention of paying in to a pension

[whattodoiwonder]

Looking for some advice on pensions please? Find the whole subject hugely confusing tbh.

(I'm not great at explaining myself so please bear with me )

My DH is self employed and does not pay in to a private pension.

I have always paid in to a pension and will continue to do so until retirement.

I'm obviously not hoping for the worst to happen, however if he was to die what would happen in terms of financial help? I know if I were to pass away then my pension funds would go to him, but what about vice versa?

He is a stubborn git and "doesn't see the point in paying in to a pension when he'll get the state pension. Live for now blah blah".

(Disclaimer; we have a lot of issues within our marriage and this is just one of them).

I'm not either. I was off work for a few years as a carer and only PT now so IMO it's not worth it. I'm 40 and I expect retirement age to be at least 75 by then. I'm exhausted now, cannot imagine needing more than state pension. I'm trying to do as much travel/leisure whilst I'm young.

Remind him how tiny the state pension is (about £7.5k a year), and how vulnerable it is to being changed/ scrapped/ age limit massively raised ect.

Also remind him that he will get tax relief, so even without an employer to contribute it is essentially FREE MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT. I can't believe people turn this down.

My DH was the same. Self employed for all those years, didn't see the point.

And then at 56 he was forced to retire with crumbling vertebrae in his back (was in the building trade). I'm 8 years younger and have always worked and paid into a pension.

I'm now 52 and he is 60. And he gets nothing at all - no income, no benefits - because I earn just too much. I MASSIVELY resent the fact that I'm working long hours full time, whilst he sits about at home watching tv/surfing the net/doing very little and perfectly happy. I resent the four years we've struggled by on my salary. I look at the next 15 years stretching ahead of me, where I continue to keep him until I can retire at 67. I then see our old age stretching ahead, with him sharing the pension I have paid into.

And it really pisses me off. Only it's too late for him to change it now.

Hi I am an IFA so hopefully can answer this for you.

Your pension: provided you have filled in the death benefit nomination form it will pass to your husband tax free (if you die before age 75 after age 75 it gets slightly more complex). If you have not filled in the form it will go as per your will - likely swept up into the residue, if not Will then as per intestacy. (* disclaimer - could be different if your have been paying into a final salary pension scheme or hybrid scheme)

When you husband dies you will get no pension if he does not have one and very little/nothing from the state. This is a handy link www.gov.uk/new-state-pension/inheriting-or-increasing-state-pension-from-a-spouse-or-civil-partner

If he is self employed within a limited company then his pension contributions will reduce his corporation tax, if he is sole trader self employed he will get tax relief aka free money. The money is all tied up under current rules until he is 55 and subject to investment risk.

If he is self employed it would also be worth looking into some form of income protection incase he is ill and unable to work, plus life insurance. An IFA will be happy to help you with all of this.

Thank you both. He's so stubborn about almost everything and although he is in a financial position to put money away for the future, he just won't. And it worries me.

There's no talking to him. He just thinks he should be living for now...however he doesn't appear to do very much with his earnings.

We tend to pay in to a separate bill account, for payments to come from that. Then whatever is left from our wages is ours to do what we want with.

Should I be worried? I guess what I'm getting at is whether it is reasonable to suggest he is not taking me in to consideration should something happen to him. While I know he will have some help if something were to happen to me. Or am I overthinking this?

I know I probably sound clueless and I suppose I am. I've paid in to a pension since I was 16. I'm now early 30s and tbh it's only now that I'm beginning to sit up and take notice. (Recently lost a very close aunt and I suppose it makes you think about things differently). Please no judgement for being so clueless on this

time I feel resentful too and it's an awful feeling to have that festering inside me

Your situation sounds awful and I'm not surprised you're feeling the way you do. It's definitely a worry if my DH becomes injured, he's in a trade too.

He'll not even put money away or aside for things like cover for holidays. So he'll take a week off then play catch up for the next couple of weeks while also asking me to help dig him out of a hole. He does pay me back however his attitude towards money just pisses me off.

kitkat thanks for the advice and also the link, will have a nosy at it later this evening. That's really helpful.

Yes I've named him on my Nomination Form. I also have a will, he does not.

I've got some family "living for now". Some have really worked out how to do the retirement years and I admire them.

timeforchange-have you considered leaving?

Agree with Peony, your dh is foolish to say the least. If he earns into the higher rate, he could be claiming 40% tax back to put in his pension rather than giving it to the chancellor.
As far as providing for you, check your mortgage is set up so if he dies, the mortgage is automatically paid off. Also if he won’t build a pension pot, he could take out life insurance so you would get a lump sum if he dies.
Not having a will is less of a problem as long as you are married and he has no ex-wife or children/dependants from other relationships. But still risks unnecessary complications.
Do you have children? If he dies how would you provide for them? Work & cope with grief, and look after dcs? I’d be insisting that some measure is put in place, at least to pay off the mortgage.

Arnold not seriously, no. I love him very much and in general life is happy. I've had a crappy day at work today, tbh, and on days like these getting in to someone cheery who's had (presumably) quite a stress free day day pottering about at home I feel resentful that it doesn't seem to occur to him that I'd love to retire too - only I can't.

He has tidied up, hoovered and done busy, pointless things in his shed so would be hurt if I suggested he's not really pulling his weight. But by God I wish he'd thought about a pension! He was a real grafter, and I suspect thought he'd always be working.

DH earns approximately £30-35k a year, as do I. So we're not massively well off. Mortgage, usual bills, 3 dogs who go to doggy day care, 1 car, 1 loan to pay off his trade van. We're not swimming in left over money but not struggling either, so it is affordable.

I also have 2 tweens from a previous relationship.

What I'm trying to say is that there isn't very much to show for his "living for now" attitude. Not much in the way of material things, and he doesn't "do" much such as trips, holidays, expensive hobbies etc.

Maybe I'm just feeling resentful in general as like I say we do have issues within our marriage. Which could be helped if it were not for his stubbornness. This is just one factor.

Does he have significant savings?

If he were to divorce you, he would get half your pension, I suspect. Happened to someone I knew.

mint he doesn't earn in to the higher tax bracket.

He doesn't have children. I have 2 "tween" children from previous relationship. (He doesn't contribute to non running-of-the-household costs for them. My ex has them staying over with him 3 nights per weeks, we have them the other 4. Arrangement with ex is that we both pay half for any costs such as clothing, activities etc etc).

My MIL has never worked and FIL has never paid in to a pension, currently 63yo and working full time. My DH and siblings have been putting away money monthly into a pension pot for their parents for when FIL retires. As my DH has no children of his own he does not have this type of arrangement to fall back on.

He has no savings at all. I'm due an inheritance payout in the next few months, at least £50k.

Our home is in DHs name however I guess this is a moot point as we are married. When we met I was involved in a very acrimonious separation with my ex, who I had a shared mortgage with. I continued to live in the home we shared and he moved to his parents...we both paid half towards the mortgage and I paid all of the bills. When current DH and I got serious and moved along with our relationship, he got a mortgage but I couldn't be named on it as was already on mortgage with ex. When things were eventually sorted I couldn't be named on mortgage as I was working on a casual basis due to childcare (and ex refusing to assist). But we are now married so red herring.

I’m so glad we have a decent pension between my husband and I. Husband was made redundant in June, his redundancy money won’t last long but we can take 25% tax free money to pay off our mortgage and live on for a year if we have to. It’s such a relief to have that money to fall back on. I would say to everyone to pay into a pension as soon as you can, a decent work pension is the best way to safe money for the future.

I’d be more concerned about what happens to your pension if you were to divorce tbh, and whether he’d have any claim on it.

He's a selfish dick. I'm not surprised you have problems
I haven't a pension but I've made provision for whenever it's needed, in lots of different ways. Likewise so as dh.

Why don’t you book an appointment with a financial advisor for the both of you, he might then see the light 😉

Insist he invests his "half" of your inheritance into a pension?

Or leave him before he is entitled to half if you have marriage difficulties. That solves the pension issue as well. He will only be entitled to half of what you have accrued up till now.

Will the house be paid off if he dies? Or will you have to sell up as well?

Ok, it's not ideal, but at least you own the property you live in. So, when it comes to it you will have paid off the mortgage and have a large asset in the form of the property. You could then downsize or sell up and rent (giving you a large lump sum to keep you going for many years hopefully), or look at equity release, or look at a 'retirement mortgage'. If he's a tradesman, would he look at buying an investment property to renovate?

Thanks again for the replies.

I hadn't thought of selling up in the future to downsize into a rented accommodation. I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea though as our current home was intended to be a home for life. It is a modest home (3 bedrooms, mid terrace) and worth only about £160k currently (Im in the NE). But I really wouldn't want to sell my home to downsize, so we're relatively comfortable in old age. He should be paying in to the pot now, like I've been doing for almost 20 years. I'd have loved an extra chunk of money each month instead of paying towards my future, especially when I was a single mother but I thought better of it.

Plus I think the money he's putting in to his parent's pension pot would be more suited in his own. I get that he's trying to be a good son and - as he says - pay back his parents for his upbringing, but he should rethink his priorities.

kate it just leaves a bitter taste that he will be using my aunts money to fund his retirement when he's not bothered to do anything or been proactive about his own old age. Or AIBU thinking that? Constructive criticism welcome! Like I say im not the most pension savvy person so advice welcome.

Would he realistically afford a property to renovate then sell on? I seriously doubt it. And I doubt he'd have the time either. But definitely worth considering, thanks for the suggestion

I'm such a Negative Nancy this evening

As that's your inheritance money not his, isn't there a way u can protect it so he doesn't use it