Anyone received an inheritance and felt guilty or upset?

[Towerofjoyless]

My DF passed away suddenly in the spring and I have just today received word from my solicitor that she will very soon be completing the forms to apply for confirmation (we are in Scotland). I am unsure of the exact worth of the estate as it includes collectables and we were given a basic figure from the valuer but told it's likely to be worth more.

There may be enough there to pay off my mortgage, but at the very least I will be able to use it for things that would have taken years to save for, such as a new kitchen, loft extension, put cash by for the kids in their savings accounts etc. But I'm feeling awful about this - how can I look every day at a nice new kitchen, or loft and know it was the passing of a loved one that made these things possible??

I know it's still early days and the full inheritance value won't be realised, but am feeling shitty about it all nonetheless.

Has anyone else been in this position?

After 14 years, just found an inheritance from my mum. Feel soo low and tortured. Just feel why can't I just give everything to get her back. Am 45 year old man but feel about 10 cos I miss my mum that bad 😥 How do I not feel guilty about the inheritance

Received a largish inheritance from an uncle. It changed our lives ( made things easier, we moved house) but I was sad that he literally spent nothing his whole life. He never married, he never went on holiday etc. I feel sometimes that I shouldn't spend the money because he would have hated that.

Wouldn’t your father be pleased to think how his money had made your life easier/nicer?

I passed most of the money I inherited from my mother to dds, to help with a house purchase and a much-wanted extension. I know my mother would have been very pleased to know it was put to such use.

TBH I would only feel bad if I spent it all on designer clothes, etc. or anything else a relative would see as wanton waste.

When someone’s evidently wanted you to have the money, I don’t think you should feel at all bad or mercenary for receiving it.

Never received anything much in the way of inheritance. The small amount I did receive was given away to others in the family who either needed it or felt they deserved more.

If your inheritance came to you alone and other family members got nothing (as in inheriting from an uncle whose children missed out) you should feel guilty and vary the will to give them something. If you were unkind to the person you inherited from or never saw them then you might feel guilty. If a loving parent wanted you to benefit from their savings and you are not wasting it on fripperies why would you feel at all guilty?

I've been executor for a will and people usually appreciate that the donor thought of them and wished them to benefit.

It’s normal of course to feel that way but just imagine how happy your dad would be to think about you spending it and the added security it will give you.
Don’t feel the need to rush into any decisions about what you spend it on either, just sit on it for a while.

This is a thread from last summer.

Redbull might like an answer though.

my thoughts are with you OP, I can’t imagine the pain of losing a parent.

It sounds like you had a good relationship with him, hence why he would have included you in his will and he obviously wanted you to have what he has left behind for you. People put a lot of thought into what they leave behind to who, it’s never an easy decision I’m sure. So I’m sure he would have wanted you to use it for the exact things you’ve mentioned.

I can see how you look at it in it’s negativity due to his passing. Its a bitter-sweet situation.