Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

My DH isn't paying into a pension, would this be a deal-breaker?

33 replies

slavetolife · 09/07/2019 16:38

NC for this. When we got together in our early 20s it didn't matter so much. Now we're mid 30's , I've been paying into an NHS pension for the last few years now. DH still does the same self employed job, wages have never really changed much (he doesn't earn loads, enough to get by really) and he has never paid into a pension. I'm starting to worry about what we'll do when we're old!

OP posts:
DustyDoorframes · 09/07/2019 16:41

Well he can always start now! If you are self employed you have to be quite proactively be about it, and it feels scary to commit the money, I can see why he hasn't sorted it so far. Are his NI contributions in good shape?

tisonlymeagain · 09/07/2019 16:46

Nope, not a deal-breaker, I don't pay into a pension either. I used to but I didn't like the restrictions on being able to access it when the time comes or the fact that when I die, my family would only get 50%. I'd rather use the money to pay off my mortgage and save. When retirement comes I'll downsize.

Herocomplex · 09/07/2019 16:50

He should get some advice, but who knows what things will be like in forty years time?
Is his the sort of job that he can do post normal retirement age? Is he likely to inherit anything, or own property? There’s so many variables, but it’s not a good idea to have nothing planned.

Original poster
slavetolife · 09/07/2019 16:52

Ok, so we haven't got a mortgage and aren't likely to inherit anything!

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 09/07/2019 16:55

He can't start saving now. Contrary to the post above, you can access your money whenever (when you're old enough), it all gets inherited etc. That's if DH starts a SIPP. It's also much better than saving as it comes out of gross income meaning that instead of paying tax, you get more in your pot.

Being in his 30's, he could also start a lifetime ISA. The money is topped up with an extra 25% from the government and will never be taxed.

GummyGoddess · 09/07/2019 16:58

@tisonlymeagain with the type of pension ops DH cab get, she would get all of it rather than 50%. The time limits are because it is to provide for you in old age, not for anything else you want to use the money for when you get to that age as the governments tax relief is to encourage you to save for your old age.

Op, do you rent or own if you don't have a mortgage? Can I suggest you see an IFA for a forecast of what your retirement might look like if you continue as you are?

DustyDoorframes · 09/07/2019 16:59

@tisonlymeagain eh? Your family will inherit all of your pot, if it's a defined contribution one?
@JoJoSM2 I assume you mean he CAN start saving now, right?

missyB1 · 09/07/2019 17:00

Pensions aren’t necessarily the best way to save, it’s one form of investment. My dh is being penalised heavily by the tax man for having too much in his NHS pension pot! He is probably going to have to come out of the pension scheme to avoid massive tax bills, despite being at least 15 years away from retirement.
The fact is the government can change the goalposts any time they like about pensions and savings.
No it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me.

caringcarer · 09/07/2019 17:04

If your dh pays in to stakeholder pension pot government pays in 25% of what your dh pays eg. If dh pays £200 pcm then government would top up to £250. He needs to be doing this asap or you will have a retirement where you are poor and cannot afford to do anything you want to do. You cannot rely on what benefits will be like by time you retire as we could be on austerity plus plus plus by then!

Nesssie · 09/07/2019 17:08

Honestly, yes. Your pension will be paying for his retirement.

tisonlymeagain · 09/07/2019 17:24

@DustyDoorframes @GummyGoddess Can't really remember the ins and outs of it and I'm sure things have changed a little now with workplace/stakeholder pensions etc but the private Standard Life pension I took out in 1997, I had to fill in a form to say who I wanted it to go to if I die and it was only about 50% that they would receive. I think that was because of the tax rules at the time - I know these have changed in recent years.

I'm aware you can take it all out in one go but then there's also a tax bill to pay on that - which I'm a little aggrieved at having already paid tax on that sodding money! (It wasn't a pension through work).

Bluntness100 · 09/07/2019 17:27

Has he got savings? Own property? I'd be concerned about how he intends to live if he's in rented, no savings and no pension. He will get rhe state pension, but he's going to have a fucking miserable retirement unless he starts to change something.

DustyDoorframes · 09/07/2019 17:49

@tisonlymeagain your tax money will have been added to your pot. When you put in £100 of your cash, an extra £25 will have come back from HMRC. That's what makes it a pension as opposed to just a complicated savings account.
The 50% thing sounds very very odd- it may be that you are tied into an annuity (once you reach retirement age) and only 50% of that is inheritable?

tisonlymeagain · 09/07/2019 18:09

@DustyDoorframes Will have to dig out the paperwork. I remember being very outraged at the time!

Notmystory · 09/07/2019 18:19

I also have concerns about this.
I've been seeing someone for just over a year and it's getting reasonably serious, I don't know the full ins and outs of his finances - he earns a similar amount to me although I'm part time and he is full time, but he has said that he hasn't really got any pension provision although I think he must have a small amount from 10 years in the forces, although maybe that was shared in his divorce 15 years ago - was pension sharing a thing then? He will also have stare pension entitlements. He also hasn't really got any savings.

I've got a reasonable pension provision plus other savings and investments.

It isn't an issue atm, we don't live together and our reasonably equal earnings mean no issues on a day to day basis, but it is something which concerns me about the future and I'm not sure what to do about the situation, keep going as we are and see what happens and whether it actually matters or end the relationship in which I'm very happy atm because of something that might be a problem in the future.

Pineapplefish · 09/07/2019 18:23

Have you mentioned your concerns to him? Is he careful with money except for this issue?

Readytogogogo · 09/07/2019 18:28

I'm mid thirties too. I don't think anyone our age should assume that there will be a state pension at all, or consider that the state retirement age may be much later than it is at present. I think everyone needs a private pension or some sort of independent means if you hope to ever be able to retire. I suppose it depends on whether your pension would be enough for you to both live/retire on?

Original poster
slavetolife · 10/07/2019 07:44

We rent (housing association) - no savings whatsoever. He really needs to start doing something doesn't he!! I just feel we are on a really sticky wicket with this and like a previous poster said, we'll both be living off my pension. I have mentioned this a lot over the years but he has never actually done anything about it. I gave him an ultimatum yesterday, basically if he doesn't sort it out I'll divorce him - he just doesn't seem to share my concerns at all 😠

OP posts:
Chasingsquirrels · 10/07/2019 08:38

If there is no spare money in your joint lives where do you expect his pension contributuons to come from?
Are you prepared to cut your contributions to free up family cash so that he can start making his own?
Or do you have separate finances and he has different priorities for his own money and you feel he is therefore expecting you to fund his retirement.

ComeAndDance · 10/07/2019 08:51

I dint have a pension either OP and I’m 50yo....
The reason is simple. The money I’ve been making as self employed has always been little (chronically ill so can’t work full time etc....) and therefore there has been little money available to put in a pot.
Also worth remembering that with your company pension, the NHS will be putting something in it too when he wont have that chance. It also means that it looks quite pointless to even start....

Rather than looking at it as a LTB situation, you need to have a chat about the future and retirement. See what is available and possible (a private pension isn’t the only way to build a pension for example). But most importantly, you need to build something TOGETHER because what you are talking about your, together, financial future.

ComeAndDance · 10/07/2019 08:55

I have to say I’m Confused at the idea that he HAS to start a pension/saving money.
Where is that money going to come from?
If he IS putting let’s say £200 a month aside, that will be £200 lesson the family budget. Can you afford it? Will you, OP, be happy to make the sacrifices coming with having £200 less per month?

You dint have savings so I’m assuming there is no money left at the end of the month to build some. So where do you think that money will magically apprend from?

Yaflamingalah · 10/07/2019 08:58

It would not be a deal breaker for me. You understand that some people just don’t have any extra money at the end of the month?! I’m fortunate that I have a public sector pension but my contributions are a couple of hundred pounds a month and with two DC and part time working I’ve struggled to afford and Justify this in the immediate term. DH has only started paying into a pension in the last couple of years. Before that he was contracting in various financial sector roles with poor pension provision so didn’t bother. He was also paying our mortgage, which we decided was more important. My pension will tide us over into old age and I don’t consider myself as ‘carrying’ him - he is my husband!

JudgeRindersMinder · 10/07/2019 09:00

It wouldn’t be a dealbreaker IF he took it seriously and started to look at make serious provision now

Orlandointhewilderness · 10/07/2019 09:04

I don't have a pension plan for a simple reason - I don't have enough spare money to pay into it! It isn't necessarily that simple.

fromdownwest · 10/07/2019 09:08

"basically if he doesn't sort it out I'll divorce him"

Wow - Just wow!

You have on of the most generous pension schemes available, which you are benefiting from, and good for you as its a very good scheme to reward our great health care system.

However, your contributions are no where near what you would need to pay in a DC scheme to receive the same level of remuneration. We are talking 25-35% of pay required. I appreciate that you are not asking for your partner to pay in this.

However, self employment is a tough gig. The way our tax is calculated can make payments on account huge, NI, non paying clients, delays in clients paying, fuel, materials etc - these all really hinder our ability to commit to a regular pension.

My pension, is the sale of my business, foolish? Maybe?

I do however pay into an S&S ISA, which allows me to take money out as and when my business or I may need it.

To divorce someone for not having a pension points to bigger problems if I am honest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread