My first post.. I can't cope.

[Kizzie1504]

I've never posted before but I've been a MN member for a long time now. I don't know where to start. I'm fighting so hard to keep my head above the water & not give up on life right now. I fully know I'm not the only one to feel this struggle at the moment but I honestly feel like we can't go on like this. I'm a single parent to 8 year old & 5 year old. But money has never ever been worse. We are close to losing the house, I'm paying bailiffs left right and centre for old debts to council tax. There's no way I can even afford this years bill as of yet. Not even the monthly instalment. I've had to pull my daughter out of gymnastics due to simply not having the money anymore. I dread to think what we are even having for dinner tonight. I cry non stop every day. I owe money to every single family member I have and every friend I have. I don't know where to turn. I have no credit rating obviously. I'm on universal credit but they won't take into account any bailiffs I'm paying etc and it's just not enough to live. What comes in doesn't even cover the bills. I've always worked, until bad health last year, meaning I had to leave. But not a serious enough reason for any more help according to the government. I literally have no where to turn anymore. I've applied for 71 jobs in the last 5 weeks I'm that desperate. So please don't judge me as a typical benefits mum etc. I hate that I'm in this mess & certainly don't just want a life line. I need to know it will get better? Please someone tell me it will because right now I feel there is no other option other than to hand the children to their dad & just end things right now because I can't even afford my kids meals at the moment. I feel like the worst mummy in the world with nowhere to turn but giving up. I'm sorry for the long post I just don't know what else to do. My family have no money to help me anymore.

I need to add too, I know there are so many more people worse than me too. I hate the kind of "woe is me" people. And I realise that is me right now. So I'm sorry for that. I just don't know what else to do.

I didn't want to read and run, very quickly, there are organisations out there who can help you. Step change, the money advice service, citizens advice, can all advise you about debts. Bailiffs have to be paid, yes, but payment plans need to be realistic and manageable. Please speak to one of the organisations above and get some help, they are free of charge and should be able to help you get to where you need to be.

Please contact CAP today...www.capuk.org

Christians against poverty.

Dont worry about the Christian bit! :)

They will be able to help you deal with this burden. They win lots of awards for their financial advice and are recommended by Martin Lewis of mse.

Also, do you have a foodbank near you?

I run one and its amazing how many clients we get who are working, some of them ft!

Good luck x

So sorry to hear your struggles. I’ve been there and it was horrific!
Contact stepchange (Free charity) and they will get you on a DMP and contact all your creditors and bailiffs for you to get interest frozen. They will also negotiate an affordable repayment plan for you for all of your debts consolidated into one monthly payment (which you send to stepchange and they then divide it up to send to your creditors), I went from having to find about £800 every month to only having to pay £150 a month and I’m now debt free and rebuilding my credit rating.
Good luck x

If you look at www.trusselltrust.org you should be able to find your nearest foodbank

Www.capuk.org

Cap link

Is there a foodbank that you can access?

Would the kids dad help you out even for a few days? Give you time to see an organisation who can help you. Scary but write everything down and get some help.

Hugs OP. I'm sorry things are so tough for you just now. I'm a debt advisor for CAB. We support people in the circumstances you're in every day. You are not alone. Please contact us or another of the money advice charities suggested. We issue Foodbank vouchers too. Don't give up. It will get better.

My friend works for CAP, they will absolutely be able to help you, please call. I hope you get someone to help you through this, you will manage.

Thankyou so much for replying to me & not being judgemental. I will call CAP as soon as I'm back from the school run. Thanks again so much.

I've just entered my post code.. apparently no services near me

Sorry I posted too early. Can I still call them for help even though they aren't local to me? Xx

Yes.
They may have details of other foodbank or church groups that have pantrys x

No one will judge you.
Please dont worry about that

Try CAB to see if they do the Break Through Project in your area. They can help you reduce your debts and help with applying for help reducing your utility bills

Thanks so much everybody. I've spoken to a few helplines but unfortunately the stupid thing is my debts aren't high enough to get major help! But they can help with budgeting and contacting debtors for me. I'm going to CAB tomorrow. I've also reached out to my children's dad and ended up breaking down to him. He's horrified that I've been in the mess and not told him and said he needs a few days but will try to come up with a way of helping me pay everything off once and for all. I'm so glad I took the first step in writing on here, it helped massively just writing it down. So Thankyou again to everybody for your really helpful advice. Xx

Good luck x

Glad it is all working out.

Just to say well done on taking the first steps towards getting help. CAB will be able to guide you in the right direction, and help you deal with your creditors.

As for "woe is me", there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help when you're struggling and feeling low. And when things are better for you, you'll be able to help someone else in similar circumstances. Good luck.

I am an advisor at the CAB and they will definitely be able to help you with this. Are bailiffs still coming to the door? If so do not under any circumstances let them in. They cannot force their way in. If you have a car hide it somewhere a good distance from your house (not just around the corner or on a neighbours drive). If you are deemed a vulnerable person your debt can be sent back from the bailiffs to the council. The CAB will be able to help you as they can negotiate for you or help with debt solutions. Councils use bailiffs as a first resort as they are a cheap way of getting people to pay up as people are scared of them. They behave terribly in many cases and need challenging. Take as much paperwork as you can to the CAB. You can sort this - don't despair.

CAB could also help you challenge any ESA / PIP decisions that may have meant you weren't getting benefits related to ill health. They are really good at that in many areas. Ours has a 95% success rate at appeals. It may be that they can help you increase your benefits and sort the debts. They can also issue food bank vouchers for immediate problem of lack of food.

Just a little thing but surely dds dad would pay for her gymnastics?

If you print this off and fill it in and take it to any of the help agencies mentioned above, it will help them pinpoint where you need help most.
www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

You're allowed to moan, that sounds really tough. I hope things get better soon