Reasonable?

[Ella1980]

Long story short... I have two kids half of the time (the rest of the time they live with their dad) and a fiancé. We both work ft-I'm currently on around £900 pm and him on around £1400. No other income except Child Benefit for one boy.

We are renting a small 3-bed for £850 pm.

Every month fiancé pays some money into my account.

Out of my account comes nearly all of the food, all expenses for the boys, council tax and all bills inc rent. He pays for his own fuel, that's about it.

Last month he paid into my account £750. Personally I think this is not enough!

Ballpark figure, what would you say is reasonable?

I am sick of struggling 😢

Thank you all so much for your advice x

What would you say (ballpark figure)

You're going to get a whole lot of different answers here because people work their finances in different ways.

My wife and I have always had a joint account and all money goes in to one pot so there wouldn't be a "reasonable" figure to pay across.

You need a better job. 900pcm sounds less than ft nmw.
He's giving you more than half his salary.
It's not clear whether he lives with you but if so you should be splitting all bills at least equally. Your wage is eaten up in rent so you need a better job and a cheaper place.

How can you work ft and only come out with £900? Surely with minimum wage being £8.20(ish) even after tax you should get £1000+?
Work out what he should be paying ie
£425 rent
Half council tax
A share of the food shop
Half tv licence

Your wage seems very low and your rent very high. I think you need to sit down and make a budget - I doubt you have much 'spare' cash between you but assuming you live together I think that 'spare' cash if any should be equal. I think your combined income is probably too low for your expenses.

Min wage works out a lot more than £900 a month.

£425 is half the rent.
How much does Council tax cost and how much for all other bills ?

How much are your bills? I don’t think it’s far off, £425 is half the rent and then half the bills and half the food bill. Depending how much your bills are maybe he should be giving £100 extra for food?

How long have you been together for OP?

You need to sit down together and do a budget for everything and pool your income. If your joint income doesn't cover all your outgoings then something has to give and you need to tighten your belts.

The way my DH and I do it is we pay proportionally into a joint account dependent on our income, which covers all bills and savings, then we have an equal amount of spending money each. We've always done it this way from earning equal amounts to me being a SAHP with no income - the money left for us each to spend on what we want has always been equal (sometimes very little! But no resentment that one has more than the other).

Teaching Assistant so don't get paid for hols (so salary spread across whole year) and 30 hr working week.

I'm a qualified teacher of 15 years but education is in a mess. Have applied for many, many, many teaching jobs but schools are having to take on newly qualifieds as no money in budget for experienced staff.

We were in a horrible two-bed for £700 pm but had to move as it was mouldy and horrible with no space for my 12 yo to study etc.

Should I expect him to pay anything towards the kids? They're not his.

Surely half the bills and his own food?

I personally wouldn't expect a fiancé to pay for my kids. Isn't that your and their fathers role?

How much do you think your fiancé should pay?

IMO No, if they are not his then he shouldnt really have to pay towards them. He's paying half bills anyway and you get CM for one of them

I suppose he could argue that he'd only need to rent a one bed if you didn't have DC. Therefore you need to step up and earn more (he might say). Which area of the country do you live in? South East?
I don't know much about recruitment for teachers, but have you tried all options?

I'm wondering if you are settling for a lower paid TA role for other reasons? Have you lost confidence to apply for qualified roles?

P.S have you got 2 threads going on this?!

I don't get any maintenance despite ex earning £105k pa. He even took away Child Benefit for one son when I was on my own. He doesn't have to pay me anything so he doesn't. Dad of The Decade. Not.

I orginally posted in Money but got no replies!

How old are your kids? Pick up some evening work when you don't have them. If you did bar work there would likely day shifts available during holidays.

What do you teach? Could you do private tuition? As a TA you work short hours so have time for more work.

You need to look at your bills together and work out which ones are fair to halve. Eg rent, council tax etc are fair for him to pay half. If your kids eat more food then you should put more in for that.

He should be paying child maintenance as he earns significantly more than you.

Sounds like a reasonable figure to me but if you want a bit more, ask your partner and he may be happy to up it a bit.

(I can't help wondering where you live to get a three bed house for £850 a month! Certainly not the London area. :-))

Schools can only afford to take on newly qualifieds. I'm too expensive with budgets!

@BlackCatsRock He is sadly not obliged to. Hence his push for 50:50.