Please, look at my budget. What, if anything, can I do?

[SeraphinaR]

NC.

Been going through my monthly budget and things aren't looking great.

Mortgage, Ins, Maintenance, etc. £1071

Electric, Gas, Water, Council Tax £278

Cars £96

TV, Broadband and Phones £100

Total is £1545

Then there's

Food £500
Fuel £250
Nursery Fees are either £292 or £363

All together that's £2658 using the highest Nursery fees figure, without any savings for Birthdays, Christmases, Clothing, Emegencies, etc.

Our joint income is £2600. Occasionally DH might earn slightly more if he gets a small efficiency related bonus but it can't be relied upon but some months it would seem we may be -58 short if DH makes no bonus and we have the higher month of Nursery fees.

I'm going to look into a second job. It isn't a route I wanted to go down but things just aren't comfortable as it is.

Any suggestions?

Life really should not be like this at age 23.it should be about being care free and having fun. This is really depressing.

Life is hard for young people now. My son is the same age as the OP and even he is just about breaking even after rent/bills and he is in a graduate trainee job, no kids. Cost of living is so high now.

Indeed it is, i really think young people have a hard time with housing costs being such a high % of salary.

I can't seem to do everything I'm supposed to. I can't hold down a job, let a lone a second job, I can't look after the baby three days a week by myself, cook, clean and look after myself. I struggle to do half of it well!

OP, I want to assure you that this is completely normal. I have a 2 year old DD and I work 3 days a week. Although I do succeed on the cooking (because I enjoy cooking and because I have loads of allergies so I can't rely on shop bought ready made stuff even if I could afford it) I nowhere near manage the rest of running a house. It is never as clean or tidy as it should be, I don't manage to stay on top of the to do list at all.

It can feel as though everyone else manages it and that everyone else lives in a civilised, well run home but when I talk to my friends we're all in the same boat (apart from those that can afford to pay a cleaner).

OMG I hadn't realised you were so young. Honestly you're not shit and you're doing an amazing job under really difficult circumstances.

How much freezer space do you have? I ask because if you don't like cooking, it might be better for you to batch cook and freezer. Sauces can go in freezer bags, fresh veg chopped, blanched (ie popped in boiling water for a minute) cooled and frozen (not all veg works, or is cheaper, eg bought frozen peas are better value than fresh, same with sweetcorn). It all saves money - but it also saves hassle if cooking isn't your thing. And time if time is also a pressure point.

I know that not everyone is a fan, but Delia Smith really is good for learning to cook. You don't need to know how to cook tonnes of stuff - just 5 weekday meals, and a couple of weekend ones. You can find her basic recipes for stuff like cottage pie, spag Bol etc online. Jamie Oliver is good for easy sauce recipes. Start with simple stuff - and don't try and boil the ocean, maybe aim to replace one ready meal with one home cooked meal every week until you've phased the ready meals out. Bulk out with stuff like lentils to reduce the amount of meat you need in every recipe. I don't have to worry about food budget (only three of us in this house, so less pressure) and even I bulk out some recipes, I actually like the taste and we're trying to reduce meat consumption.

I find YouTube recipe tutorials really good as well. Easier to follow than written recipes if you're not experienced.

Don't feel like you're failing - you're not, you're just learning. Budgeting is a learned skill. So is cooking. And you have the amazing women of Mumsnet to help you with both.

You may be able to cut food without sacrificing eating nice things you like. MSE boards are great for that.

Have you checked you are on best deal for gas, electric, insurance etc?

I'm trying to think of the relatively cheap and easy things I found easy to learn to cook:

Cottage pie - with half the amount of mince, adding cheap veg like carrots, mushrooms and lentils to bulk it out.

Crustless quiche. One of my favourite weekday suppers, and stupidly easy to cook. It's basically an omelette in a nicer form! Doesn't freeze well, but it's so quick and easy to cook, it doesn't matter.

Spaghetti carbonara. Again doesn't freeze, but is so easy to make, and cheap if you buy scraggy bits of bacon. I now add mushrooms and peas to it - sacrilege, but again adds nutritious veg. Use mild grated cheddar instead of parmesan to keep costs down, and half milk half cream works fine, IMO.

I think those might be my 3 in-a-hurry weekday meals that are the easiest to master.

Op, like the others say it's small changes. Find one recipie you want to try and do it once a week, then May be another. I work 3 days and have small kids. I never feel on top of things either. I think that feeling is totally normal.

Also, we get an asda delivery every week and top up shops are done at aldi and lidl. It's frustrating as I know that's the area we can make the biggest savings but it's the area I'm most reluctant to do so on

You have 2 choices , either earn more money , or not spend so much . You have acknowledged that you can make savings on food , but you don't want to
I suspect . like most people you will be spending more then you think you do , its easy to stick to a strict budget in the short term , long term its a bit soul destroying . making cuts in the easy places leaves you a bit of breathing room for treats like days out .
You are also relying on a relative to bail you out with nursery costs , when you know you are spending too much on food ,
If you haven't already , check out MSE forum for help , advice and inspiration

Well done OP for trying to tackle all of this - it isn't easy, and it's even harder if you haven't been shown these things 🙂. Just make one change at a time, and you'll move in he right direction.

Lots of great advice and support from MN as always.

I agree with one meal until you’ve mastered it quickly and then it’s less of a chore.

A slow cooker will help - meat veg, you can get flavor packets and switch on in the morning. Teas ready when everyone comes home.

joint of gammon, (slow cooked) new potatoes and salad
Pulled pork - joint BBQ sauce mustard chili powder and apple juice - cook for 8 hours ready to go in baps and will freeze really easily for next week

Things like roast dinner, if your me doing veg anyway - peel extra for the slow cooker and add water - ready for tomorrow dinner

For every meal you freeze that halves next weeks cooking!!

We sometimes have odd things left so DH is the curry, DS has the Sheppard’s pie and because I use foil containers that go straight in the oven ready for 40 mins

Look in charity shops for recipe books if you're not too confident in the kitchen. Mary Berry does some great 'every day' ones with easy recipes that tend to leave some to freeze. I also use the Good Food website when I get stuck. Some ideas:

Made a massive pot of chilli - this is my go to when I have no idea what to cook. You can even buy ready made packet mixes of the spices if necessary. You can make a really tasty ch

Veggie pasta bake - make a healthy sauce by cooking chopped veg, a carton of passata (v cheap in Aldi), and some crushed garlic. Blend if necessary (hides veg from picky kids), mix with cooked pasta. Sprinkle grated cheese and/or breadcrumbs on top and grill for 5 mins. Cheap, filling, and leftovers make good lunches.

Balls. Sorry, hit post mid-chilli recipe.

1 teaspoon each of cumin, smoked paprika, mild chilli powder, soy sauce, fish sauce, and cocoa powder makes an awesome chilli.

Agree with Delia Smith, I learnt a lot from her, how to make a white sauce, roast a chicken, you name it. Very clear instructions for a novice, which we all were at one point.

Learning to cook will help you in many ways - saving lots of money, improving your (& you family’s) health and possibly improving your confidence too. Few people know how at your age but it is a great time to start learning. I’d suggest you start a separate thread on wanting to learn to cook inexpensive basic recipes for your family and slowly start to work your way through them. I’d be more than happy to chat weekly about what recipe you’re going to try next and answer any questions that come up when making it.

For a starter for 10, I’d recommend trying this scone recipe to replace some snacks. The ingredients are cheap and you can keep them in your storecupboard and knock up a new batch in 20 mins once you have got the hang of it.

Just on the food front.....If you can pick up a copy of Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food, that takes you through every stage of cooking family meals and once you have the basics, it then shows you how to make lots of different dishes using the skills you've picked up along the way. Having been where you are, eating the same stuff day in day out gets incredibly boring, having some variety makes it all more bearable.

If you live near a town/city that has a market, buy stuff there. If you go later in the day, you'll probably get some very cheap fruit and veg. Also, if you have them, use your local specialist Asian shops. Rice, pulses and spices will be so much cheaper that way. If you dont feel ready to make curries etc from scratch, buy their spice pastes - really cheap and will taste great.

Cutting down on meat will not only save money, but is better for you. When you make a chilli (using your new found skills, not a jar!) use a bit less mince but add more vegetables and some lentils. It will taste lovely and cost less. You can do the same for any mince based dish. Use pulses more than meat for protein, if you really want to save, buy them dried and soak/cook them yourself.

One other suggestion once you are a bit more confident with the cooking - have a look online to see if any fruit and veg merchants do a box delivery. Not organic, that would be too expensive, but just your normal fruit and veg. Whilst a box might seem a big outlay, (ours is about £16 a week but huge) the contents can form the basis of that week's meals. The box gives you variety and I find saves loads of money because the you automatically use less meat and fewer ready made ingredients. Best of luck, it's tough but you will come through this.

Someone very smart once said 'we are all wingng it!' and they were spot on. Do what you can and that's fine. We are all struggling in some way with some thing. Keep calm and carry on as the cliche goes. You're doing great. Enjoy life and smile at all the little things. they matter.

I don't buy any fizzy drinks. Water from the tap or diluting juice. Also stopped buying snacks. Look at Amazon for bulk buying. Do you know anyone with a Costco card who could pick up any of the deals for you? Learning to expand my cooking repertoire increased my confidence and cut our bills. We used to be jars of sauces here but added more and more vegetables to make it go further / be more filling - now it's all from scratch. I think you're doing really well and need to give yourself credit for how well you're managing.

Have you checked your council tax banding?
I get Martin Lewis the Money Saving Exoerts email each week and kept meaning to have a look at ours as it was something he regularly mentions.
It took me ages to get round to doing it, as I didn’t think it likely that a I would find that a mistake had been made but I’m so glad I made the effort and did.
I followed his advice to the letter and the end result was that our banding was reduced so we pay less council tax each month and we received 4 figure rebate.
I followed his advice too about PPI - it didn’t cost me anything but time - but as we had never had a loan that had had PP added I wasn’t entitled to a refund.

Food wise check out some of the eat well for less recipes & the nhs recipes are fairly easy.
Making your own sauces is super easy, chopped tomatoes, onions, peppers & carrots etc with some herbs & Worcester sauce for Bolognese, add a little chilli powder for chilli. Curry's are easy, quick & cheap to do as well. More than happy to dm you some easy & healthy recipes if you want just give me a message
I love meal planning & coming up with meals to fit what's in the cupboards!
Also, please don't be so hard on yourself, your 23 have a family, mortgage & a job. You're doing so well!

Remember that chilli, bolognese sauce, cottage pie filling, lasagne filling, are all variations on a theme. Once you can cook one, you can cook them all. Honest!

Just don't believe anyone who says making fresh pasta is easy and cheap. It probably is, but IMO requires somewhat more expertise than anyone admits to get nice thin and flavourful pasta that doesn't feel like you're chewing a giant slug of pasta dough. Stick with cheap as chips dried pasta.

Oh yes meal planning, v important. And don't throw leftovers away. Freeze them or eat them the next day. We have a "bits and pieces" dinner once every couple of months that's a series of random bits that have been frozen, even if they don't make a whole meal on their own. Fondly called freezer tapas in our house.

You are probably eligible for tax free childcare.

Whilst you have a list of things to do I think you need to bring dh in to start making some changes.

What is his view on doing up a car?

Friends dh started this way. Buying renovating and selling cars now pays enough to buy and run their lovely house (£1million+) and private school for their children.

You are only young and you are doing fantastic

I still think getting an evening time job is financially a better way forward rather than taking on an extra day at work given the amount it would cost you.

Dd is pretty mercenary when it comes to work.
Recently offered a ft job in the H/O of one of the companies she works for.

She added up that net take home pay was only 2.5 shifts per week. Plus she wouldn’t be able to claim travel against tax. And it would be 3 hours of unpaid commuting each day.

One of the perks they told her was she would be able to wear her own clothes, no more uniform.

Dd thought it sounded a very expensive perk.

@SeraphinaR if you're thinking of getting an evening/weekend job then look at doing it in the supermarket you use most (Asda?). This way you get paid but also get their 10% staff discount so this would add up to even more on top of your new wage