Parent leaving money in a will to sibling's children

[Rocketman4980]

This didn't really bother me until it came up in conversation with a friend and she said she thinks it's unfair, but my dad has made out his will so that part of it will go to his two grandsons, my nephews and the rest divided between me and my brother. I don't have any children.

What do people here think?

He is entitled to leave his money to whomever he feels fit . If they are under 18 he might want to write an age when they inherit I.e. 18 / 21 or whatever.

Grandparents like to leave something directly to their dgc. Maybe as a deposit for a house, or just as a demonstration of their love. Better have some children OP?

I think it depends whether you plan to have children or not. If you are too old to have children then it sounds fair enough (if those are his wishes), if you might have children I think that the will should be drafted more generally that say a third to you, a third to your brother and a third to be split between any grandchildren (unnamed). Although he could make a new will if you have children he might not have the capacity to do so.

He might want to write so it’s more like ‘£10,000 to each of my grandchildren’ (or percentage whatever) rather than saying ‘£10,000 to grandchild X and grandchild Y’. There may be more grandchildren before he dies. If you never have children then fair enough if he leaves some to the ones he does have and you and your brother share the rest. It’s his money.
My mother made it clear she was dividing her estate equally and not going to take into account who had kids or personal circumstances. As it happens the highest earner by a long shot has no kids, the lowest earner has a disabled child and I earn in the middle and have two. None of us have partners. So the highest earner had her own will saying the disabled niece will inherit all her estate. I inherited from my husband so I’m ok, and I made a Will with my children inheriting my estate.

Also a percentage might be better than a fixed amount. He might give £10000 to each grandchild now and the remainder to be split thinking he has £200000 but then be in a nursing home and only gave £30000 left in which case you and your brother would only get £5000 each.

Personally, no I don't think it's fair.

That said, it's his money.

How unfair it is also depends on your likelihood of having children in the future.

If that's a possibility then then I think it's doubly crap.

My DP's and PIL are leaving money only to the next generation (equitably) and have said it's up to us to distribute our share amongst our children (their GC) as we see fit and when we see fit.

The rationale being their children are mature and settled but for GC it's hard to predict what bequest might be appropriate and at what time. You might give £2k but it's not live changing but you don't want to give £100k to an 18 year old whose gone off the rails (theoretical).

They've both said they'd like the GC to get some money to assist with a house deposit when the time comes and knowing all the adults involved that will be honoured.

Who does your friend think it’s unfair to?

I agree that he should leave a percentage of the whole amount to be shared between any children born at the time he dies. That's the only fair way.

Your brother might even have another child, even if he currently has no plans, that could be even more problematic if two inherited and the third did not.

It’s entirely a competent adults choice who they leave anything to. It can go to the next door neighbours second cousins if they so choose. There is no requirement to be fair. Anything inherited is a bonus not an entitlement.

Sounds fair to me

Can't see a problem - if you had 4 children would you expect them to get less than your brothers 2 children? Or you get less than your brother

Thanks for the replies. Like I said, I wasn't that bothered, I only started to think about it after my friend said she thought it was unfair. I haven't got children, never wanted any and am far too old now anyway. Knowing my brother, I can't see him being so accommodating if the situation were reversed.

I think it's fair. It's his money and he can do what he wants with it, don't let your friends irrational thoughts become yours.

@CherryPavlova of course there's no requirement to be fair but you'd be a pretty shit parent if you left all your money to the next door neighbours and not your kids.

@LoveB - she's not irrational, it's just her opinion but thanks.

I think that would entirely depend on your relationship with your children. If mine were drug addicts or violent criminals I wouldn’t be leaving my life savings to them. Particularly if my neighbours had been kind and supportive.

I actually thinks it’s distasteful discussing a relatives financial legacy whilst they are still alive.

I think it's a perfectly reasonable decision to leave some money directly to DGC as well as DC in your will

Agree with PP that if the will is written at a time when further DGC are a possibility then it would be sensible to include an 'all grandchildren' clause to ensure any further DGC born after the will is written stand to benefit

As long as the person writing the will isn't under any kind of duress then it is fine to leave something in your will to whomever you like whether that be a friend, relative, charity, neighbour, lover, whatever!

Agree that it is good to warn your nearest and dearest before your death if your will is unconventional or likely to cause upset or fall out

I don't know any of my friends who haven't gotten something off their grandparents in their wills? I got money inherited when my grandparents died aswell? I think it is very normal.

@CherryPavlova I actually thinks it’s distasteful discussing a relatives financial legacy whilst they are still alive.

So why are you commenting on it?

I can't see anything wrong with that, it's a fairly common way of distributing an inheritance. I think what your friend is implying is that your brother's children are not descendants in their own right but only a subset of him and therefore their inheritance should come out of his share. I think either way is equally valid, either treat all the grandchildren's inheritance as part of their parent's inheritance or treat all the grandchildren as individuals, it's entirely up to the preference of the person gifting the inheritance.

That seems more fair to me. You aren’t having any kids so that’s not at issue. It makes sense that he’d want to leave something to his grandchildren.

Rocketman4980 it’s not my relative and I have no evidence it’s even a real person, so it’s hypothetical. Slightly different to discussing the details of a living relative.

Rocketman4980 it’s not my relative and I have no evidence it’s even a real person, so it’s hypothetical. Slightly different to discussing the details of a living relative.

Hmm, yeah, seeing as all the discussions on here are hypothetical, maybe mumsnet is not the place for you!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar I think either way is equally valid, either treat all the grandchildren's inheritance as part of their parent's inheritance or treat all the grandchildren as individuals.

I think her point was that 'all' the grandchildren belong to my brother.