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Original poster

Partner moving in to flat I own - what is fair?

38 replies

LondonOx · 29/03/2019 08:38

My partner and I have been together for just under 2 years. I have also been in the process of purchasing a 2 bedroom flat for around 18 months which has just completed (a separate long story with tenants who wouldn’t leave).

Originally, I was intending to get a lodger for the second bedroom, but my partner and I are now ready to live together. They are not keen on getting a lodger. The mortgage and bills come to just under £1000 a month.

I’m currently a little conflicted about what a fair contribution would be towards living costs. They currently pay around £600 a month inc bills for a room in a house share so if we split the mortgage and bills £500-£500 they would be saving £100 a month. I have been living at home for the last 3 years to save money towards a deposit which is something they could also have done, but have chosen not to do.

I earn more than they do (£34k - £43.5k) so another way of splitting it would be a £440 - £560 so it was in proportion to our income.

If we split it in either of the ways above I would pay for all the things a landlord would pay for - decorating, fixtures and fittings, furniture, maintenance.

I want to do what’s fair, but don’t want to create complexity in the event that we break up by them taking a share of the property (something we both agree on). Would be great to get people’s thoughts?

OP posts:
sleepwhenidie · 29/03/2019 08:43

You say they are not keen to get a lodger, what about you? Have you discussed financial arrangements in respect of what they think is reasonable? How committed are you both?

sleepwhenidie · 29/03/2019 08:45

FWIW I wouldn’t be offering a share in the property at this stage, I’d probably accept being slightly worse off and partner being slightly better off than before, having the benefit of no lodger. Then split bills equally or slightly more for you because of unequal earnings.

sleepwhenidie · 29/03/2019 08:46

And yes, pay all fixtures and fittings etc to avoid any possible arguments or complications should you split up. Marriage/kids/change in circumstances such as job loss or retraining would be the trigger to change this for me.

DogHairEverywhere · 29/03/2019 08:59

How much would you have charged a lodger? If it were me, I wouldn't want to be out of pocket by having my bf move in with me. I would treat him like the lodger, in terms of - he pays the going rate and has no claim on the property if you split up.

Original poster
LondonOx · 29/03/2019 09:14

Both very committed - joint holidays, Christmas together, almost all weekends together and see each other 2/3 times during the week.

I was happy to get a lodger when I planned to move in alone - looking to charge around £500 (I had a friend in mind and that would still have been below market rate as we’re in London zone 2).

We have discussed the financial arrangements and they are also a little unsure of what is equitable. We’ve talked through a 50-50 split (or 45-55 given the income distribution) but then they spoke with their parents who suggested it would be fair to pay half of the interest part of the mortgage so they weren’t contributing to paying down the capital but that would leave them paying ~£300 inc bills and me paying more than I anticipated when I did the sums.

OP posts:
sleepwhenidie · 29/03/2019 09:22

My response to them paying £300 ish a month with you worse off would be ‘fine, but we are also getting a lodger!’

sleepwhenidie · 29/03/2019 09:23

They’d likely be paying down the capital for the landlord of their rented place!

DustyDoorframes · 29/03/2019 09:23

Well his parents have come up with a very nice deal for him, haven't they Hmm.
If you were planning on offering a friend a cheap 500pcm deal, and he's still better off like that, then I'd stick with 500, and treat the set up legally like a lodger situation (ie- declare the income, though I think you are likely covered by rent-a-room so no tax to pay). I wouldn't do it by income as you are shouldering all the maintenance costs which adds up, so you are already paying more.
Perhaps his parents could suggest to his landlord that he only pays for the mortgage interest as he's not benefiting from the equity!
Once you are a few years into living together, or if marriage/kids are on the agenda, you can rethink. But I don't think it's fair that you are significantly worse off for living with him, while he is significantly better off!

BlackPrism · 29/03/2019 09:25

I'd get a lodger and split the bills in half

DustyDoorframes · 29/03/2019 09:25

Apologies- pronoun fail! For him/his read them/theirs Blush

Singlenotsingle · 29/03/2019 09:32

I'd be asking £500 pm from him. He'd be paying that wherever he lives. He'd still have plenty of money left to enjoy himself. Who pays for food? You need to think about that as well.

But he won't benefit from any equity in your flat unless you marry him, or put his name on the deeds. (or if you let him pay or carry out major work on the flat). It's YOUR flat.

Original poster
LondonOx · 29/03/2019 09:37

Marriage and kids together certainly on the agenda in the next 3-5 years so would review in the not too distant future as circumstances evolve.

Thanks for your thoughts guys - I thought the interest only suggestion seemed a bit unfair but wanted to make sure I wasn’t being unreasonable as it’s quite hard to take a step back on these things.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 29/03/2019 09:40

50/50 regardless of income, I never agree with these oh I earn more/ pay more arrangements. £500 pm for living expenses is a good deal and chip in for food etc.

Charlieiscool · 29/03/2019 09:41

You are mad if you don’t make a formal agreement where he is your tenant.

Charlieiscool · 29/03/2019 09:42

See a lawyer and look after your interests. He should not be getting a home on the cheap with you worse off.

Original poster
LondonOx · 29/03/2019 09:45

Will be getting a formal cohabitation agreement drawn up by a solicitor - but want to agree between ourselves on the fundamentals before getting lawyers to keep the legal expenses to a minimum.

OP posts:
CocoCharlie83 · 29/03/2019 09:59

To ensure he can't have any future claimto the property you can only split the bills with him excluding the mortgage. Anything else and he will be able to claim that he is paying towards the mortgage so would be able to claim a share of the property.

And you can't have him as a lodger or a tenant to cover yourself that way as he is your partner and landlords doing tend to sleep with lodgers/tenants.

It isn't really fair on the homeowner and the partner moving in usually gets a very good deal out of it financially but it is what it is. You could get him to set up a savings account for the money he would be saving on the mortgage/rent which could be used to buy into the property in the future if yous decide to do so

Singlenotsingle · 29/03/2019 14:26

What are you talking about Coco? A bare cohabitee will get no rights to the property or equity therein, without more. The man pays a straight contribution towards running expenses, full stop.

sleepwhenidie · 29/03/2019 14:44

Interesting that the assumption is being made by lots of posters that the partner moving in is a man and OP is female, when OP hasn't specified!

combatbarbie · 29/03/2019 14:55

Charge him whatever you'd charge the lodger providing that's all bills included

AnotherEmma · 29/03/2019 15:05

I agree with Coco, you do have to be very careful as he could potentially claim a beneficial interest if he's been contributing to the mortgage. You'll have to get him to sign something waiving his right to that.

I do actually think his parents have a point and that strictly speaking the fairest way would be for you to pay the repayment part of the mortgage by yourself, then the interest part and all bills would be split 50/50. Obviously if this left one of you with considerably more disposable income than the other, it wouldn't be fair, but since you earn slightly more than him that shouldn't be an issue.

If you are both committed and intend to stay together, consider his attitude to saving - if you want to move house and buy together in future then ideally your partner would have something to bring to the table next time.

(I have assumed it's a man for ease btw, apologies if it's a woman. Why do people hide that kind of info? Assume we're all biased one way or the other or something? Hmm)

Redred2429 · 29/03/2019 17:25

My partner is moving in with me and we have agreed that we will split everything 50/50 apart from the mortgage this money he will save. anything for the home and bills all 50/50 the reason for this is if we were to split then he would need to move out and the property would be mine so I don't want him to be worse off or struggling I'm lucky that I had a large deposit so I have a very very small mortgage so it might be a slightly different situation . He also has a daughter so
he covers any extra expenses relating to her it felt like the fairest option for us. I would be careful and make sure you see a lawyer to protect your property so in the event of a split he doesn't have any claim on the property

Original poster
LondonOx · 29/03/2019 17:43

@Emma I actually kept it neutral because we’re both women and thought if I put she it would be assumed that I was a man. Not really to do with people being biased - just find that a bit grating. Anyway, given it’s a pain happy to clarify we’re both she.

OP posts:
Redred2429 · 29/03/2019 18:02

Sorry I realize I assumed too I had missed your previous post about that

AnotherEmma · 29/03/2019 18:05

Ok fair enough, thanks for clarifying (and sorry for assuming wrong!)

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