Partner moving in to flat I own - what is fair?

[LondonOx]

My partner and I have been together for just under 2 years. I have also been in the process of purchasing a 2 bedroom flat for around 18 months which has just completed (a separate long story with tenants who wouldn’t leave).

Originally, I was intending to get a lodger for the second bedroom, but my partner and I are now ready to live together. They are not keen on getting a lodger. The mortgage and bills come to just under £1000 a month.

I’m currently a little conflicted about what a fair contribution would be towards living costs. They currently pay around £600 a month inc bills for a room in a house share so if we split the mortgage and bills £500-£500 they would be saving £100 a month. I have been living at home for the last 3 years to save money towards a deposit which is something they could also have done, but have chosen not to do.

I earn more than they do (£34k - £43.5k) so another way of splitting it would be a £440 - £560 so it was in proportion to our income.

If we split it in either of the ways above I would pay for all the things a landlord would pay for - decorating, fixtures and fittings, furniture, maintenance.

I want to do what’s fair, but don’t want to create complexity in the event that we break up by them taking a share of the property (something we both agree on). Would be great to get people’s thoughts?

I think there’s two options and I would give them the choice.

1. they pay 500 and split bills as this was what you budgeted when you intended to get a lodger. Depending on bills, this would probably be similar to how much they pay now. They sign a waiver etc.

2. they just pay £300 her parents suggested but you also get a lodger,

If she wants the extra privacy/comfort of no lodger then she has to pay what a lodger would have. You aren’t ripping her off. She would be contributing to any landlords mortgage.

If you had children together or it would work out more than her last housing situation, then I would suggest an income based split.

I don't think he should pay half the mortgage unless he is getting half the property. If I were him I just wouldn't move in as it is too complicated. You could just have your friend move in.

As an aside, i would never live in a house that i had no legal right to inhabit.

Don't really understand why it is even considered that your partner should live rent free! The mortgage is a cost associated with having access to the property, they are getting a benefit from the property (= a place to live!), surely they should pay for that? There are a lot of responsibilites that come with ownership, sounds like you're going to pay for a lot of stuff on top of this, including repairs. Just don't refer to it as "paying a part of the mortgage", it's the rent they pay you, end of.

If you want to look at giving them a share in the flat (btw, congratulations on getting on the ladder on your own and in London!), this is what my partner and I do because we started off from different points financially: We have a big old spreadsheet where we record the amount each of us contributes towards the house (mortgage, additional savings for repairs, investments that improve the value of the house etc.). That all gets added up each month, we also include an interest factor so that early payments in are valued higher than later ones. This way, we can add up fairly who contributed how much, and if we ever end up selling, this is how we will split up any profits over and above repaying any remaining mortgage. So one of us may own 30% of the house while the other owns 70%, over time that will get closer to 50-50. Slightly complicated, but feels very fair! (Bills etc. are not counted in this, they are split 50-50).

Good luck with everything, and definitely don't let this (good thing!!!) stop you from moving in together!!!

It's irrelevant if they are paying down the captain really.

I'd charge the £500 you would have charged your friend.

I think that's fair, with you covering all maintenance costs.

He's not paying half the mortgage, he's paying what the OP says is under market rates.

If it was me I wouldn't be Keen to do it long term but if you become committed and want to jointly own you can move to putting them on the mortgage and be careful to ring fence the deposit.

As you've not lived together before that's a decision for the future when you see how it goes.

Sorry didn't read your post where you said you were both women.

'They' is the plural for more than one person. Trying to dodge round the person's sex because you think you'll get different answers is ridiculous.

Before you decide on a sum check all your costs - £300 for half the interest, but what about everything else you pay for as a landlord

I agree with their parents, why should they contribute towards your capital, ie. Equity. Their 'rent' is half of the interest. The fact that it means paying less is irrelevant, you also get to pay less you would otherwise.

What I think is fair would be for the money they save should be put into a saving account so that you both end up with a similar disposable income. That money can then go towards the mortgage if you move to the next stage and agree to put their name on the deeds, or is money they can use to put a deposit towards their own property or rent if you decide to break up.

If i earnt more I would probably meet in the middle and pay £600 and charge £400 so that disposable income is similar. Id want food and day to day stuff etc to be split straight down the middle though

He’d have to be mad to do this. What sort of relationship would he be getting himself into if he was to become your paying lodger. Essentially a guest in your house. Disaster. Imagine disagreements on, for example, decor. It’s not hard to imagine who makes the final decision, and that same dynamic will pervade throughout the whole relationship.

Nah, if he had any sense he’d respectfully decline and find his own place, maintain some form of dignity.

Her parents are being ridiculous. As are done posters.

Why should YOU be out of pocket because she moves in?

You’re the one who has lived with your parents to save a deposit, she chose not to do the same.

You were going to get a lodger, if she wants to move in and you not to get a lodger then she should pay what you’d have charged your friend.

There’s simply no way you should just split the bills and interest. She needs to be paying rent, like she would be anywhere else.

Find out what the second room would be worth as a flatmate (lodger means something different to me) then she pays that plus half the bills etc. Because that’s FAIR. It’s irrelevant what that amount is in relation to your mortgage.

Paying RENT is NOT paying your mortgage.