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Original poster

This obsession of "moving up the housing ladder"?

109 replies

Marghe87 · 13/03/2019 17:45

I am not from the UK. Back home and in many other countries around Europe, families of 4 people happily live all their lives in a 2 bedroom flat. It is considered to be the normality.
In here, I find that people very rarely settle and houses are not for life but rather a way of climbing the property ladder to hopefully end up in a 4 bed property with garden, even for a family of only 4 people.
I have a few main questions and I'd like to hear what other people think:

1 - why this obsession with upgrading? Especially if this often means get a higher mortgage, be in more depth, compromise lifestyle etc...

2 - do you know any family of 4 who have lived in a 2 bed flat/house for life?

3 - do you find yourself wanting to "upgrade" because it is the right thing to do for your family or just to chase a society stereotype (ie: all your friends and colleagues do it so you might as well)?

OP posts:
Dippitydoodle · 13/03/2019 17:55

We definitely felt the pressure to upgrade. We bought young an whilst it's a small 3bed semi with a decent garden, people assumed after we had our kids that we would upgrade.

We decided about two years ago that we're staying put. We have a bedroom for each dc and less than 10years left on the mortgage.

A bigger house would mean alot longer on the mortgage and less to live off each month... all for a extra bedroom that be don't need and if I'm honest, would be for show rather than necessity.

Original poster
Marghe87 · 13/03/2019 18:00

*debt, not depth :D

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 13/03/2019 18:01

We upgraded every few years whilst we were high earners in order to eventually down size and be mortgage free at 50.

Original poster
Marghe87 · 13/03/2019 18:04

@Finfintytint but wouldn't you also be mortgage free earlier if you kept the initial smaller property and overpaid mortage instead?

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 13/03/2019 18:04

I don't really understand it either. We moved up until we found a house we liked in an area we liked, and stayed there. That was nearly 30 years ago and now we're mortgage free!

With stamp duty being the way it is, I'm surprised people keep moving house as often as they do.

(I'm in the UK)

ILoveMaxiBondi · 13/03/2019 18:04

Well 2 bed flats in the UK don’t tend to be spacious so raising 2 children to adulthood in one is going to get less and less comfortable as they grow. Particularly if they are boy/girl siblings.

What’s wrong with wanting more space?

museumum · 13/03/2019 18:05

We were desperate for a house with a garden and bike storage when ds was about 2. We had been happy in a flat till then but we love having a garden now and I love not having bikes in the hall to squeeze past / knock over. Also can park outside rather than circle the neighbourhood for half an hour looking for a spot.

Singlenotsingle · 13/03/2019 18:05

I was ina 2 bed house with 2 dc which meant they had to share a bedroom. Then I upgraded to 3 bedrooms but one was a boxroom. So eventually we moved again to a 4 bed, by which time the dc had grown up and moved out. Do I downsize or stay? I rent a room out which pays the mortgage. Can't be arsed to move again...

Jaxhog · 13/03/2019 18:06

My niece lives in a 2 bed house with 2 kids and seems perfectly happy.

Sierra259 · 13/03/2019 18:07

My FIL mentioned it a few times a couple of years ago and although I'd love a slightly bigger house than we have (3 bed terrace) if we won the lottery, there's no way it would be worth it financially otherwise! We have a comfortable mortgage, plan to convert our loft in a few years which will add 1-2 bedrooms and a bathroom and be plenty big enough for our family of 4. Not a chance I would go through the hellish process/expense of moving again.

lots33 · 13/03/2019 18:10

I live in a mid terrace, three bedrooms. It’s on a busy ish road with street parking. Small garden but park round the corner. It is definitely cheaper than most of my friends homes. We also drive an old banger! BUT we are lucky that at 43 and 50 we are mortgage free (big relief as kids are still young) , we have a nice lifestyle and savings. I know that a lot of our friends have big mortgages, new cars regularly and smarter clothes.

Horses for courses.

Finfintytint · 13/03/2019 18:10

Quite probably! We did a lot of moving about the country for work. I think if I’d have found an ideal area to live early on I could see no reason why we couldn’t have stayed in a 2 bed.
I must admit though, I do like the idea of bigger= better so perhaps I’m a bit of a snob. More rooms meant I could indulge in a hobby room and teenage son could have his own sitting room, etc.

grannieanne · 13/03/2019 18:11

I downsized from a large Victorian 4bed semi nearly 5 years ago, when my kids all few the nest, to a 2 bed detached bungalow. The only time I wish I had more room is at Xmas when they all come round with the grandkids. Now mortgage free at 53... it's a good feeling :-)

Drogosnextwife · 13/03/2019 18:11

My mum and dad stayed in a 2 bed house. We actually moved from a 3 bed to a 2 bed because it was in a nicer street but it was an older house. They split the biggest bedroom so my brother and I could have a room each though and kept it like that. I feel like I'm failing because we live in a 2 bed house and we have no hopes of upgrading anytime soon. It depresses me because it does seem like it's expected by everyone that people keep upgrading their homes.

jemihap · 13/03/2019 18:13

I don't understand the complete and utter obsession with property full stop in this country, it definitely seems to be unique to the UK psyche.

Drogosnextwife · 13/03/2019 18:15

It seems to be that if you don't live in a 4 bedroom, relatively new build house and drive either a range rover, audi, BMW or Mercedes 4x4 (in order of popularity) then you haven't "made it", or so it feel where I live and the surrounding areas.

FreckledLeopard · 13/03/2019 18:16

I suppose I like the idea of going up the ladder, hoping that the property market continues to increase in value and therefore being in a better position to pass on the accumulated wealth to my daughter in due course. I'd also like more space and more land.

EssentialHummus · 13/03/2019 18:16

I agree with you OP. I think keeping up with the Joneses is a bit part of it. But since the Joneses won’t be paying my mortgage, we’re staying put Grin.

I think the flat/house prejudice is also worth thinking about.

BuildAParsnip · 13/03/2019 18:16

Our 'upsize' enabled us to live in a lovely area with a bedroom each and a garden.
That's not from pressure from others. Our lives are easier and happier with a bit more space and less threat if crime.

choli · 13/03/2019 18:19

I don't understand the complete and utter obsession with property full stop in this country, it definitely seems to be unique to the UK psyche.

They seem to be even more obsessed in Ireland.

DarkDarkNight · 13/03/2019 18:19

Well I can’t afford a house (or rather I can’t afford a deposit, the mortgage payment would be less than my rent) but I don’t get it. I would rather have a house that is nice but not extravagant and be able to afford to enjoy life without a huge mortgage.

SushiGo · 13/03/2019 18:19

The UK has some of the smallest homes in the world, per sq ft. Particularly bedrooms.

Other countries may live happily in 2 beds, but it's a lot easier to do that when doing so doesn't involve teens in bunk beds.

Having said that, personally although we definitely do want a bigger house we would be quite happy with a decent sized bedroom per child and I have no idea why there is so much expectation that certain types of job = you must live in a big house with a spare room.

katienana · 13/03/2019 18:24

I moved out of a 3 bed flat last year into a 3 bed semi and it was such a relief. The biggest change was getting a bigger kitchen and a garden. In our old kitchen there were hardly any cupboards and no room for a table, with 2 people in we bumped each other all the time. We had no space to entertain. On a hot day I couldn't put my kids in a paddling pool, or have a bbq.
I love our house and we will spend the next couple of years making improvements then hopefully sell it and get somewhere bigger - a 5 bed Edwardian house a few streets away, with a huge garden. Going bigger again will mean even more entertaining space, more bathrooms, an office, and a bigger kitchen with more room for gadgets and novelty baking equipment! If it doesn't happen we'll be fine though.

BuildAParsnip · 13/03/2019 18:27

Everyone has their own priorities. We don't all have to be the same.

Singlenotsingle · 13/03/2019 18:27

Really in the UK there is no security for people who rent. Usually the houses are owned by private landlords who only have to give 2 months notice. Hence the necessity to buy. On the Continent, tenants have a lot more security so they're happy to bring their kids up in flats and not worry about moving on.