This obsession of "moving up the housing ladder"?

[Marghe87]

I am not from the UK. Back home and in many other countries around Europe, families of 4 people happily live all their lives in a 2 bedroom flat. It is considered to be the normality.
In here, I find that people very rarely settle and houses are not for life but rather a way of climbing the property ladder to hopefully end up in a 4 bed property with garden, even for a family of only 4 people.
I have a few main questions and I'd like to hear what other people think:

1 - why this obsession with upgrading? Especially if this often means get a higher mortgage, be in more depth, compromise lifestyle etc...

2 - do you know any family of 4 who have lived in a 2 bed flat/house for life?

3 - do you find yourself wanting to "upgrade" because it is the right thing to do for your family or just to chase a society stereotype (ie: all your friends and colleagues do it so you might as well)?

We have a 4 bed semi. 2 kids and family living some distance so need a spare room. I can't see ya moving again to 'upgrade' but could see me and DH moving once the lids are adults for something less urban.

1. space. A 2 bed room flat is too small for us to thrive, in my opinion. I want my children to have a room each and a garden to play, and I hate having neighbours. We only managed to buy after having children so have a small starter home, new build 3 bed, when I'm at my most self-deprecating I feel I have let my children down not giving them a good sized space to grow up in. So we plan to upsize by the time they are in high school. Detached, large garden, probably a 4 bed only because 4 beds have the downstairs space I want.

2. investment. We plan to outright own a large(ish) property by the time we retire, but at that point it is likely we will downsize, meaning a smaller more manageable property plus then a cash lump sum for retirement. Property remains a sensible investment in the UK and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

I guess what is relative is what people can afford at the time they "get on" the ladder. Of the housing market is at a low point, houses are cheaper etc, a first time buyer can end up being able to afford a much better house than when the market is higher and they have to start in a small flat etc and hope to get something bigger once they're earning more, in a better financial position due to being a current home owner etc. If a 2 bed flat makes you happy than that's great, but for some people they prefer to move onto something bigger and will do so as and when they can afford to. Personally for us we found our 3 bed semi was getting tight on space once we had kids, and were fortunately able to move to a bigger house in a better area. If we couldn't have done this, I would have happily stayed, but the option was there so we decided to take it.
We were lucky and bought when the market was rock bottom, and over the years huge a decent profit due to the increase in house prices. We've just bought our second, and (hopefully) forever home, but could only do this due to buying our first home when we did and making a good profit due to the timings of everything. We won't be moving again. Stamp duty, solicitors/estate agent fees, completely destroyed our savings.

I bought my house outright 3 years ago....4 bedrooms ( one more office size) for just the 2 of us. Grown up children all living 200 miles plus away. It is one of the best areas of the city.
It isn't huge but I love the extra rooms. In 10 years we may downsize in the same area. I have owned property since my 30s .

Family of four in a four bed here. Main reasons for this house were decent sized, separate rooms for the kids (ds and dd), spare room as we very often have family over as we don't live near (also houses kids wardrobes and games room for their tech), room to entertain and relax with friends inside and out, move closer to school and kids friends, more to do outdoors and we now have the garage for bikes/scooters etc, room for my dream built in bookcases, potential to extend if needed.

Where we are there are very few houses pre 2000 and they usually get snapped up by word of mouth so never end up on the open market. We wanted to live here for a host of reasons and there's a huge difference in space between 3 bed and 4 bed. Property tends to be much smaller in the UK too so my 4 bed may actually equate to a 2 bed flat outwith the UK.

As a child I lived in a 2 bed terraced house with my parents and 2 siblings, until we were aged 12, 10 and 8. Then we extended into the attic so there were 3 bedrooms because it wasn't really appropriate for teenage boys and girls to be sharing a room. So the same sex siblings continued to share and the sibling of the other sex had the cramped attic bedroom. Then we even moved my grandma in, she slept in what was the living room and we used the dining room as the only family/reception room.

We (DH, me and 2 dds) currently have a 3 bed semi. It's ever so slightly bigger than my parents house, but in a slightly less desirable area. If my dds had been closer in age we would have had them sharing, but there's a 10 year gap between them so it didn't feel right to make a teenager share with a toddler. Anyway, there weren't any 2 bed houses any cheaper than our 3 bed. It would have been smaller but no cheaper, which doesn't make sense at all.

Really in the UK there is no security for people who rent. Usually the houses are owned by private landlords who only have to give 2 months notice.

Yep. I’m in that position now because my landlords circumstances are changed so I’m out of my home in 2 months. I’m quite lucky though, I got 4 months notice. It’s proving incredibly difficult to find another home I can afford. This will be our 5th house move in 13 years due to bad landlords, landlord circumstances changing or poorly maintained properties. It’s sucks the big one. I hate it. If I could buy I could finally relax and feel at home. And pay half of what I’m paying in rent.

I have recently moved from a small mid terrace 2 bedroom house to a 3 bed semi. The reasons for the move were:

1. A bedroom each for my ds and dd
2. Space for off road parking. So I don't have to park ages away and walk like i used to
3. It's in a nicer area with better schools
4. Bigger garden
5. More storage. I have place to put toys and bikes etc. My dh no longer keeps his bike in our dining room.

Some people might be happy in a 2 bed but we felt cramped. I don't imagine we will move again for a long time.

Apparently the average UK house size is 96.8 meters. My US 2 bed apartment is 111.5, so I can see I have more space. We also have access to wonderful nearby parks and outdoor swimming pools in the summer. I'd much prefer it to some suburban house.

I suspect that people in the UK spend more time indoors than in other countries, which might influence the desire for more rooms.

I don’t see anything wrong with wanting more living space. Personally I don’t know anyone who has moved house to conform to any kind of stereotype, people move house for many varied reasons.
It isn’t an obsession it’s just life & doing what’s best for you & your family.

Interesting. I'm not British and I do think the obsession with home ownership is a bit strange. Everyone wants their 'Castle' I suppose.

I read recently about a 23 year old young woman who'd just bought a house. Article was posted as an example of how you can do well if you put your head down. I do commend her.

But this girl said she'd had a Saturday job since age of 14, saved, hadn't had a holiday and not many nights out.

I know she has what she wants and that's the main thing. But I still found myself thinking you are young, have a mortgage already, missed out on experiences etc.

By the way she was UK born but parents aren't British.

Back home some buy, some rent and it's really no big deal at all. Over here I've heard some people be quite snobby about those who don't own their home.

4 people in a 2 bed flat wouldn't work for me tho, I'd feel stifled. There are 4 of us in a 3 bed flat but with big bedrooms, 2 bedrooms on 3rd level & 1 bedroom on 2nd + have 2 bathrooms so it's spacious

We live in a four bed semi (modern build) but I find it quite small compared to American houses (and apartments) that I’m used to. I feel that we are lucky to have this house but I would love more space. I don’t care about the property ladder at all, but I would not like to raise a family of four in a 2-bed UK equivalent.

I ‘upgraded’ from a nice enough 2 bed rented flat to a 3 bed detached house because I wanted 1 more space, 2 a garden and 3 I was sick of noisy neighbours and being surrounded by people.

It was nothing to do with appearances or keeping up with the Joneses, it was because this house makes me happy and I want to be able to enjoy my home.

We have decided to stay put - bought our house when we were 30ish and if we stay in it we can one day retire, as we will pay off the mortgage before we are 60. Otherwise any sort of retirement before 70 is not going to happen.

OP, what’s your property history then?

To be fair, it's not about looking good or "making it" most of the time. A lot of people here find it relaxing to have more space and for each person or couple to have their own bedroom.

Its hard to compare because in other countries it's common to live in a very small space but it's not through choice - it's because people are poor and can't afford it and/or there simply isn't any space because of a very dense population. Yes they accept it and are happy but they may choose differently if they could.

Also a lot of people are poor here, but a lot aren't, and what else are they going to spend their money on? I have a decent but hardly enormous salary, I can afford holidays and what I need and I have enough left to pay a mortgage on a 3 bed home. Yes I suppose I could just put the money in a savings account and house my family in a studio but for what?

I don't mind renting and it has its pros but it can be a pain. Here in Australia you have an inspection every 3 months, usually aren't allowed pets and can't do anything to the house (even hang a picture). Landlords and agents often don't fix issues or take ages. And you have a 6-12 month lease at most. If you are outside a lease you get 3 months notice if they want you out, and if the property changes hands you have to leave at settlement if the new owner says so.

I think many people misunderstood my point. Living in a 2 bed flat doesn't necessarily mean "renting"... I meant just buying one property and living in it for the rest of one's life. I notice an obsession for continuous upgrading - which is different from just "we are a big family and need more space".
I don't question the lack of space but mostly the continuous striving for something better and bigger etc etc...

I would feel so stressed and claustrophobic in a 2 bed flat and 4 people 😰 we have a 3 bed semi (well, 2 doubles and a box room), a 3 and 1 year old. We want to move because we want the kids to have their own rooms - they currently share a double because the box room is DH’s office. Could put one of the kids in the box room but that’s not fair when the other would have a double, and then DH would have to work downstairs and would be in the way, or we’d have to get a garden office which would make the garden look crap for various reasons.
Downstairs we have a living room which we try and keep toy-free, then a kitchen/diner and conservatory which we added on. ‘Diner’ is the playroom and conservatory is dining room/playroom/tv room. As the kids grow they’re going to want to be alone more I’m sure and I can’t escape them enough as it is 😄

I'm equally bemused OP.
I was just nicely settled in an affordable place with decent neighbours when friends started banging on about "moving up the ladder" to a different area because "it's an investment" and "that's what people do".
I told them that I know full well people do that because I work as a debt counsellor and I've seen the come for help with their unmanageable fixed costs.

Also we only have 1 loo, to my mother’s horror!

Also I run workshops from home so have a lot of equipment to store. Basically we want to move to have more space!!

I think it's down to personality. Some people always want newer, bigger, brighter, shinier. Car, house, phone, etc. Others prefer to stick with what they've got because it works, and they're happy with it for whatever reason. Some people like change, others don't.

With that reasoning, I have a 3 bed victorian cottage with 3dc, occasionally a dss too. My kids share rooms. We certainly won't be moving again, it's a running joke that I'm done moving, although when out I'll point out houses I would consider moving for (usually beautiful, probably listed, houses in the countryside, usually with few neighbours, and probably £££££). I have friends who don't like staying in one place too long, and thrive on change. And then I come across people for whom £££ accessories (house, car) = success.

@unlimiteddilutingjuice yes, sounds so silly to me sometimes. Obviously if you are a very high earner and can easily afford a 5 bed detached then good for you. But I hear people with a good but still "normal" income saying they are now buying a 2 bed to then upgrade in 4-5 years to then upgrade again in 10 years to then end up downsize pre-retirement?!? Don't get it.

I’ll admit I LOVE a gorgeous home. It’s a hobby and even as a small child I adored houses, interiors, gardens, architecture etc.

We’ve got a beautiful home and are renovating and extending to make it perfect. It will be a pretty fabulous house. I love making my home environment beautiful and comfortable. I spend a lot of time here.

I’ve lived in loads of different styles of housing and although I was perfectly able to function in all types of home, I’m definitely getting a different level of pleasure out of having a special home and property.

So it’s not necessary but like anything, it can become a hobby or obsession for some people. I don’t buy clothes or makeup, but I do buy stepping stones and door knobs.