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Original poster

Bills allowance from dh

49 replies

Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 07:40

How much does your dh contribute to the house. If you own the home and dh not on the mortgage does he contribute or do you just pay it all?
My dh gives me £250 a week and an extra £50 food allowance. I pay for everything including clothing, Christmas, birthdays and holidays or days out and I'm starting to get tired of paying for everything. We have 4 kids. He works and earns a great deal more that me and he also has money to himself every week but I'm left with nothing at all. I have to have a job that works round my children. Not entitled to tax credits as he earns to much. I do get child benefit paid in to my account. If there is a problem in the house he always tells my it's not his problem and that the landlord should sort it. I own the house so I guess he means me!! 🤔😔 opinions please 🙂

OP posts:
ADarkandStormyKnight · 28/10/2018 07:42

For clarity, are the kids his?

Villanelle123 · 28/10/2018 07:43

Sorry no help but he sounds like a complete dick!

bastardkitty · 28/10/2018 07:43

If you're married, you don't own the house as it's a marital asset, unless you have a pre-nup and live somewhere where they are legally binding.

Thebluedog · 28/10/2018 07:45

If you’re married he should be paying for half of everything inc the mortgage. If you divorce, He would be entitled to half of the house regardless of who’s name is on the mortgage.

LIZS · 28/10/2018 07:45

Why is he not on the mortgage? He might be legally entitled to a share of the equity, or inherit it if you predecease him regardless. How did you reach a situation where you pay all these costs and what happens to remaining income?

Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 07:46

2 out of 4 kids are his.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 07:46

Not married

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 28/10/2018 07:48

Sounds like you maybe better getting child maintenance from him at 25% if his income and him paying you bed & board

LIZS · 28/10/2018 07:48

So not a dh. Are those 2 kids also yours or his from a previous relationship?

Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 07:50

I bought the house before I met him. It's always been this way but he has progressed in his job and salary has trippled. But mine has pretty much stayed the same as I've got to work round the children.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 28/10/2018 07:50

A room in s shared house in my area starts at £80 a week - bed and board would be about £120. Then 20% of his net income for two children

Plexie · 28/10/2018 07:53

Not married

Then he isn't a DH is he?

So presumably your partner moved into your house but for some reason you decided not to make him a joint owner of the house, despite you having two children together. Sounds like he has an issue with that.

Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 07:53

2 children are mine from a previous marriage. But they are not in full time education any more they have both left school and In college.
2 children I have with him are in full time education.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 07:57

I've owned the home since my divorce 15 years ago. Been with him for 9 years and he's never mentioned going on the mortgage.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 28/10/2018 07:58

Do you actually own the home or do you have a mortgage?

LIZS · 28/10/2018 08:00

And how much are the mortgage payments?

Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 08:00

Very small mortgage

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 28/10/2018 08:00

Crossed posts, so you have a mortgage to pay, this now is making more sense as to why you don’t have much money

Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 08:02

£500

OP posts:
ADarkandStormyKnight · 28/10/2018 08:02

On the face of it he should be contributing more and you need to get to the bottom of his thinking on this. E.g. does he resent it that you own the house? Does he want to be on the deeds? Where are his earnings going?

In the short term I would suggest you draw up a list of bills (council tax, utilities, food, insurance) and work our what it all costs, and say you need him to cover half.

Holidays and days out —I’d be tempted to leave him behind— he should be paying his share and if he won’t then just shrug and say you can’t afford it then.

Livingloving · 28/10/2018 08:05

So he gives you £1200 pm. Does his share cover all the bills? What proportion of your salaries are you contributing?

siakcaci · 28/10/2018 08:06

I don't think £1200 every 4 weeks is a bad contribution tbh.

IWouldLikeToKnow · 28/10/2018 08:06

I also bought our house before we got married. It's only my name on the mortgage. My husband was living here before we married. We both contribute the same amount each month. I pay the mortgage from my account. Was easier to continue like this. He pays the same amount into our joint account and this pays for bills/food/etc. We top it up as needed. I often buy stuff for our son from my account as does he. We both have our own separate accounts as well.

Original poster
Ijustlovesnow · 28/10/2018 08:14

No he only gives me £250 for the first 4 weeks of the month if a five week month I don't get anything for that week. He keeps check on that. I earn a £1000 a month and cb. Our out goings are £2150 a month plus food of which he gives me £50 a week towards. He earns 40k a year.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 28/10/2018 08:17

Surely you should be splitting all costs equally relating to the dcs at the very least. Show him the actual costs of running the house and discuss the issue with him.

What’s with the four week business? Any month has 28-31 days. Only one month has four actual weeks in (Feb), the rest have more. So he should quit the ridiculousness and just pay monthly. That’s how mortgages work! You don’t pay less mortgage in a “four week” month.