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Original poster

Its all going to get nasty.........(rant alert)

60 replies

Lizzer · 29/05/2007 16:55

ARGH! There that feels better already. I'm in such an awful position that is making me feel part disgusted with myself and part completely right. Can you decide what is right?

Ok I'll start...Dp's dad sadly and suddenly died in Jan, its obviously not good and has been tough on all of us. Finally we get some good news that I'm pg and we have afocus again and are looking fwd to the future.

When dp's dad died he left a house and not much else to dp and his brother (who I get on well with, always have been a close family) HOWEVER, his bro and fiance have now moved into his dad's house and instead of selling and splitting it, he's going to buy dp out. Makes sense.

EXCEPT, he's not in any rush, and why would you be when you have relocated, don't have much work on, you're grieveing, and you don't need to pay a huge, or for that matter ANY, rent like they were doing in London?

We're renting and want to buy a house before baby comes in dec, but apparently will get penalised if we pay a huge chunk off early,and we can't afford a massive mortgage,and a small mortgage leaves us little choice on the housing market here (which is why we're renting in the first place) I don't want the family to start arguing or get involved but it's really annoying me, but then on the other hand I think to myself 'stupid cow you wouldn't even be buying if this awful awful thing hadn't happened, you horrible bitch!'

I'm so

OP posts:
LIZS · 29/05/2007 18:04

We had a survey done and mortgage offer within about 10 days.

Sobernow · 29/05/2007 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Budababe · 29/05/2007 18:22

Some great advice on here - I am useless with finances - that's why I married an accountant. But you can always blame wanting to get it all sorted asap on pregnancy hormones! Like the idea of having it all down on paper and inviting them for dinner and sort of presenting them with a fait accompli.

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 18:29

I really thought you were a pro Twigger you are in my eyes anyway.... I like the idea of a lovely dinner and then hit them with the paperwork..... Although it sounds like the beginning scene of an agatha christie, "It was the bitter pregnant girlfriend, in the library with the candlestick who dunnit!"

Tinker, I think that the estate is sorted apart from this, I'm not sure how it works tbh...

LIZS wow that's miles faster than I thought and thanks for the info on split m'gages.

Sobernow, thanks for the motivation and support - I guess I'm just a wuss really

OP posts:
LIZS · 29/05/2007 18:32

should mention it was via the company dh works for and in December so not a busy time for surveyors !

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 18:35

Ahhhh, I did wonder.....

OP posts:
LIZS · 29/05/2007 18:37

Even so it shouldn't take much longer than a couple of weeks.

Tinker · 29/05/2007 18:40

But wouldn't the solicitor be able to "clarify" to your bil teh terms of the inheritance and then, maybe, issue a letter stating what needs to be done so all are straight?

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 18:40

Oh, that's not long then is it, dp was thinking about an month or two!

OP posts:
Ladymuck · 29/05/2007 18:41

I'd take a different stance and start muttering about probate and how come the brother can move into the house prior to the estate being distributed. If they have moved in before remortgaging then they should in fact be paying rent to your dp (well officially to the estate, but I assuem it gets divided between them). That should speed things up!

Twiglett · 29/05/2007 18:43

the shortest time from offer accepted to completion is usually assumed to be 6 weeks

don't know why but that's what we were told in 2001 by estate agents and solicitors and have no reason to believe its different now

it actually took us longer because surveyor from mortgage company was so slow

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 19:04

It should be quick for dp's bro if he's already in though right?
I know it'll take us longer though...

There's been an UPDATE! Dp has TOLD his bro that he's coming with him on Monday for a meeting with mortgage advisor. (In his defence I think dp bro's a bit depressed y'know, so maybe its hard for him to think straight - their mum's in hospital too at the mo, its been a crap year so far!)

Also (this is a bit complicated) their mum has said that she'll put in £40k for their dad's old house (they weren't together at time of death obviously) as an investment. Soooo, this means dp's bro only now needs a mortgage for £40k himself and we can have access to the £40k from his mum immediately. Does that make sense?

It does leave me thinking though, and where's our 'investment' especially seeing that we have kids and all but hey ho, I'm not bitter........much

OP posts:
Katymac · 29/05/2007 19:09

House is worth 160

Mum puts in 40

therefore BIL has to borrow 60

You get that 60 + mum's 20 (for BIL) + mum's 20 (for DH)

Or not?

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 19:23

Argh I'm confused myself now!!!
Let me think.... no, that's wrong because she's investing in the house once Bro own's it .as she wants to help him out as an investment and she'll get the money back when he sells the house......

But yeah I see your point. It SHOULD be the way you put it...

OP posts:
Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 19:24

Oh I don't know now.... I keep looking at what you've written katy, will have to ask dp........

OP posts:
Tinker · 29/05/2007 19:27

Either way you get 1/2, surely. ie via your bil paying you the 1/2 if he buys you out before teh mother invests or as katymac says if bil hasn't bought you out.

Katymac · 29/05/2007 19:27

Unless she has 2 lots of £40K?

Or she doesn't like DH?

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 19:28

No I've got it now, the £40 is just going into the dad's house, we're not getting the £20 from MIL, just £80 ie half the house - £40 (mortgage)from BIL £40 (cash) from MIL.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 29/05/2007 19:31

don't get involved in the mother bit (at least I wouldn't)

get BIL to buy you out, if his mother wants to help him to the tune of 40K it has no bearing on you

do not introduce other people into it .. it'll end in tears

Once a true valuation has been given (is 160K an estimate or a valuation) then you get half of that from BIL so BIL owes you 80K and gives it to you .. how he chooses to fund it is up to him .. your house purchase hangs on it so it is BIL's responsibility with a bit of a push/hand from your DP of course

you don't want a MIL thinking oh I gave them 20K towards that house .. bollocks .. also if its an investment she should have solicitor draw up agreement that she owns x% of house after you've been bought out

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 19:35

She loves dp!There's no favouritism.. But I think she's helping him out as she feels she needs to as he's having a tough time, not knowing what to do with his life etc.....I know,I know we're all adults and have shit going on but dp is semi-sorted with his own business and she lent him money to set up (he's paid her back now though).

She's ISN'T going to give us £40k for our house as investment thta's for sure, but its not malicious (that's twice I've said that on this thread!) I think she just wants to help him out and thinks we're doing ok in relation to him and his fiance (She's just finished her degree and doesn't know what to do either!!)

This is my first taster of proper complicated family life by the way! How simple being a young single mum seems now, no money, no hassle, those were the days

OP posts:
LIZS · 29/05/2007 19:37

Agree with twig. Get bil to get quotes for a mortgage of 80k. He could always arrange the higher mortgage and pay capital off later if there is any delay on mil's part. That way you get your 80k when you need it, regardless of how he funds it.

Twiglett · 29/05/2007 19:38

its not complicated

BIL gives you 80K you use it to buy house and get mortgage for difference.

anything else is just baloney and none of your business

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 19:45

Thank you thank you thank you! And yes you're totally right LIZS and Twig, why should it affect me? and no I don't want anyone investing in our house I want it to be ours....

Also, I told dp about the marriage/will thing and he will get it sorted (will, obviously, not wedding - that happens next yr!) I do feel much better about all this and want to stick up 2 fingers to those who say mn is negative place to be, I have had so much valuable advice on this thread that I never could've got in RL. Thanks again everyone

OP posts:
Twiglett · 29/05/2007 20:00

ahhh you're very welcome, glad to help a little in my blunt way

Original poster
Lizzer · 29/05/2007 20:40

cuts like a twig....owwwwwwwww!

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