Money left in safe!!

[glindathegoodbitch]

Dear all,

My elderly parents recently holidayed in Montenegro.
Upon completing their 4 hour journey to the airport to catch their flight home, my mother realised she had left her purse containing £600 in English cash in the safe.

The hotel have been brilliant and have the purse, but we cannot work out how to get it home to England.

DHL won't carry it as they do not ship money. The standard post is liable to get stopped at customs/ stolen.

Can the hotel put the money I an English bank?

I don't know much about Montenegro, but my father says it's about 20 years behind the rest of Europe??

Any advice would be gratefully received

X

(I have also posted in Travel, my father is desperate and rings me every three hours to see if I've got the purse back yet!!)

This thread is hilarious - but oh my your dad is stingy as hell!

I'd buy it too.

I like a fucking good sweaty book

ARSE!!

*SWEARY

Twatting phone!

Oi! Montenegro and indeed Bulgaria are pretty modern these days... just 19 years behind, not 20!

Please tell us more about the Tunisian beggar.

I'm quite sure the "smoke" is a reference to sniffer dogs.

Self publish the book, we would all buy it!!

OP, if you send the old £10 notes to the Bank of England, they will change them for you. Might win you a brownie point or two? Or perhaps your mum could do it...

He sounds like Hard Work. She must be a Saint.

Perhaps, instead of saying "Hello" when you answer the phone to him you could open with "How much is it going to cost me this time?" in a weary tone.

Whilst some of this is quite funny, actually taking a step back and thinking about what your DF is doing and saying, it's really pretty sinister. If it's true.

Why are you putting up with this? Why would you let him manipulate you like this?

Please, please write a book!

You are a good good child. A lesser daughter would have told him to sorted himself. If you were less funny I'll would definitely be asking to send his address to kick him in the cock myself.
I'm speechless he is awful I'm glad you find a way to love him.

I am honestly shocked that people think this is funny or “classic” or “MN gold.” OP presents it in a humorous way and she’s a great writer, but it’s heartbreaking. What she describes is truly abusive behaviour. I know parent/child relationships are complicated (believe me I know) but OP’s continued catering to her father and unwillingness to stand up to him, even in the face of truly bad treatment, is very sad. To me it seems insane that she still does it but I don’t doubt he has her emotionally controlled since childhood. I only wonder why OP’s DH hasn’t stepped in by now. Mine would never let me let anyone treat me like that, family or not.

OP I strongly recommend therapy to help you draw healthy boundaries with your father. You do have a choice here! Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. I hope you can find it in you to break free of his hold on you.

The thing is people deal with things in different ways. Some people go to therapy and some use humour. Comedians and writers have been doing this for a long time. They use their writing and humour as therapy. This OP is clearly doing this. No one is saying what her father is doing is fine but OP deals with it in a very humorous way.

@RealEstateNovelist this is also the only post from the OP.

Morning!

It's not my only post- I name changed a while ago because I watched Wicked and thought Glinda was a bit if a twunt, I've commented on different threads, I just haven't been pissed off enough for a while (thank you very much lovely lovely gin) to rant my arse off in my own thread.

True, I totally deal with dad's raving lunacy through humour, as my mum says... If I didn't laugh, I'd cry. But.... There are plenty of times I've wanted to sit in a dark room and cry for the little eight year old in me who got a 'family washing mashine' for her Christmas present.

There are also times when I am just a little bit evil. Signing him up for more information on an 'all male cruise' when he told everyone at a big party that I didn't get any a-levels and was 'just a bit thick'. (I have a degree in mathematics)

DH and I have a pact. He keeps my dad sweet by talking cricket and being a nice bastard whilst I deal with his mother (who is a behemoth of all things controlling.

We often joke if my dad had married his mum the world would implode in a selfish narcissistic smorgasbord of fuckery.... But they hate each other. With a passion. And ironically ring regularly to complain that the other is controlling us (and it would be better if we just did what they say).

We are just two, a bit bumbly, nice people stuck in the middle trying to raise our children without ever making them feel that they need to pay us back for it.

Now.... About that Tunisian beggar... With only one leg....

But I agree with other PP. Why do you put up with such horrible, manipulative behaviour?

@RealEstateNovelist Whilst people have said it's funny, some have also questioned why she's putting up with it, and told her she needs to stand up to him.
This woman knows what he is, and is smart enough to do it ,but loves her dad and wants a quiet life, we may not understand why but she does.

I don't. I do. I don't know!

It's weird. It all starts of really reasonably... Who wouldn't want to help their elderly parents who left a large amount of cash in a foreign country.... But then, as soon as he has his claws in, he just goes to fucking Town!!! I end up being blamed, harassed and blackmailed until its all sorted.... And then he's nice for a few days until its something else.

I know I shouldn't put up with it, but it's been happening since I was so tiny (I'm the youngest and only girl and was only good enough for picking up after my lazy brothers) that I'm surprised that I'm half-way as normal as I am!

I am incredibly strong in every other part of my life.... But he is my kryptonite. A big festering turdy lump of it!

He's very domineering and standing up to him is hard as he quite often uses the phrase 'silly women with their women problems' if you ever question him.... He is a dick, and there's no reasoning with dicks, you just need to find a way to let their knobish behaviour be less of an impact on your life.

We do it by being totally financially independent. We work so hard to keep things afloat so that I never have to so much ask him for a twenty pence piece.... And rather than being proud, this kills him.

OP I totally agree that being financially independent is important in this situation (my dad used money to control us too) and you should feel good about doing it but that’s really just the basic expectation for 99% of adults. You still jump to your father’s tune any time he asks, no matter how nasty or ridiculous it is, You have a job and a young family and you are choosing to give your time to your abusive DF instead. You may have normalized this because your MIL is awful too, but maybe part of why you and DH are right for each other is that you can relate to one another’s experience of childhood abuse.

I think you need a bit of tough love. This is not just your father’s “personality quirks”. And it doesn’t matter that once in a while he is funny. He absolutely enjoys keeping you on your toes and seeing just how far he can push you before you decide to stand up for yourself. I feel awful for the 7-year-old you and the adult you. You don’t have to put up with this!!!

If I were you I would move away to somewhere at least a few hours away from your parents, maybe even abroad. Seriously. Short of that, please please please get yourself to therapy. You don’t have to live like this. You say you don’t want your children to feel like you do but eventually they’re going to see how you let your DF treat you and it’s going to confuse and upset them. Yes I went there. I’m trying so hard to help you take care of yourself.

I would read your book too

I know I need to give myself a good kick up the backside with dad, but I deal with it in whatever way I can and then get back to my real, happy go lucky, important life.

We try all sorts to stop him bulldozing his way through just about every social conduct code known to man... But he's pretty determined to carry on being the utter fuckwit he always has been.

He wanted something printed off the other day... I said no, I have to go to work......

The mangled printer, paper blockage and missing cornish pasty from the fridge was the way we discovered he'd had a key cut to our house.

Now that... That I screamed at him until he sulkily gave it back.

He's just a fool... But he's my fool and I still love him despite the fact that for large periods of time I want to throw a bucket of lemonade over him and push him into a wasps nest.

One day I will have my revenge.

I intend to scatter his ashes at a 'young gay and black Labour party march for equal rights'.... If such things exist.

And donate a large sum of his money to comic relief for all of the time he wouldn't let me watch 'foreign spongers' on the TV when I was little.

Your dad sounds vile, Op.

Like dealing an errant toddler.... I've learnt to pick my battles.

May I also suggest a 'In memory of' plaque at the local dogging site?