Money left in safe!!

[glindathegoodbitch]

Dear all,

My elderly parents recently holidayed in Montenegro.
Upon completing their 4 hour journey to the airport to catch their flight home, my mother realised she had left her purse containing £600 in English cash in the safe.

The hotel have been brilliant and have the purse, but we cannot work out how to get it home to England.

DHL won't carry it as they do not ship money. The standard post is liable to get stopped at customs/ stolen.

Can the hotel put the money I an English bank?

I don't know much about Montenegro, but my father says it's about 20 years behind the rest of Europe??

Any advice would be gratefully received

X

(I have also posted in Travel, my father is desperate and rings me every three hours to see if I've got the purse back yet!!)

I'm dying laughing @glindathegoodbitch

How have you and you DM put up with this cranky eejit for so long?! You bloody saints 😂

And thank you Beeb for the lovely offer of transportation of said purse, but I think my dad would have had a stroke if I'd suggested trusting it to a stranger.

This is a man who won't lend my husband his hedge-trimmer incase he sells it on ebay. We have been married for 8 years and despite the fact that we have messy hedges, my husband is pretty OK.

Wow you are an angel. Your attitude is amazing. I still can't get over him asking you to put £600 in his account so he didn't lose any interest!!!

Good grief, my 76 year old Mother went to Antarctica, the Galapagos, deepest Myanmar and Easter Islands with less fuss (not on the same trip, obviously). I do get a few rather snippy comments about not bothering to email me while she's away because I never say anything interesting in reply, which I think is a little unfair as pretty much every day of my life is the same as the day before and that's unlikely to change just because she's gone somewhere exotic.

Myanmar!!

My dad can't go to the local Lidl without there being some kind of fuss. A few weeks ago it was because they wouldn't take some old £10 notes he had a roll of.

He rang me to ask if my daughter would like them to put in a scrap book. Of course, overjoyed that he'd thought of her I replied enthusiastically that she would.

He told me to drive the twenty miles to his house and collect it and bring some of those new £10 notes to replace it... And while I was 'popping over' I might as well do the shopping he couldn't do.

He won't come to watch her school play tonight because with the cost it had caused him because I refused to do that, combined with the 'unavoidable transaction fees' meant he couldn't afford the petrol.

Sometimes I find it funny, grit my teeth and just get on with it.

Other times I want to kick him in the cock.

God knows how my mother has coped.
They've been married for 48 years.

She could have served two peaceful life sentences by murdering him twice in that time.

Jesus, he's a fucking nightmare!

I wonder what he did with his old £10 notes?! The CF 😂

Started his paper mache Margaret Thatcher?

Of course, what was a I thinking?
I can't think of a better way for him to use it.

So, I've just read this entire thread back.

I love how I started quite worried, sypathetic even... And finished by wanting to kick him in the cock.

I'm actually incensed that he was asking for money from me and claiming that he could not come to see my daughter's play because this (or me) had caused him hardship.... And in the meantime was booking another fucking holiday to bastarding Bulgaria!!!!

What the actual mother fucking of all fuck fuck??!?!

Aaaagh!!!!

OP - as funny as this all is, on a serious note... what are you going to do about the relationship with your Dad? Unless you are happy with how you're treated.

He's a cheap bastard, they never change.

My grandad was also cheap, he used to refuse to go anywhere that wasn't a medical emergency in the car, even then he wanted to see the blood first.

Your dad however, sounds worse.
I can't believe he asked you for money so he didn't miss interest. Why did he take it out of his bank at all if that's the case?

The mind boggles.

Urgh. He's the king of emotional blackmail.

If I don't jump through his ridiculous hoops he pretty much tells me 'well, I'll be dead soon and then you'll regret it'.

What he seems to forget is that he is so tight that his heart has actually turned to the blackest imaginable coal and he's going to live forever.

Like some Orwellian militant, institutionally racist/ sexist spitting image puppet.

But then sometimes he can be so fucking funny, such pure gold, that you forget all of the bad bat-shit crazy madness just to bask in the laughter.

I clearly have issues.

He's gotten away with it for so long it's no shocker he's gotten so good at it.

I'd kick him in the cock.

We all have issues, don't worry.

@glindathegoodbitch please write a book about your dads hilarious abuse escapades. Imagine the look on his face when it becomes a best seller and you live the rest of your life off the royalties. I'm imagining it along the lines of Marian Keyes Walsh family.

I imagine that writing a book would be some kind of awesome therapy...

I could write about the te my Dad left the house in a huff and ended up on a fishing trip to Ireland because my gay best friend Cristoph came to stay the weekend when we were Fourteen. Dad took one look at him in my pink heeled jelly shoes, and flounced out of the house. Apparently he didn't want to 'catch GAY' and there are no gay men in Ireland......

I could write about the time I brought home my first boyfriend from Uni... He was beautiful and Arabic and smart and....

Dad just stood there shaking his head saying 'no... No... No'. Over and over again in a strangled military voice. He charged this one £5 everytime he used the shower and made him get up at 6am to mow the lawn. Just weird.

The time he took money from a beggar in Tunisia.

The time he asked me in front of my (wonderful) husband if I'd married the wrong man as he'd just read in the paper that my ex had received a seven figure bonus.

The time he went purple because I replied that my ex had a penis like an comedy mushroom 🍄

It would be very therapeutic, but seeing as every other word would be either 'fuck' 'fucker' or 'colossal cock face', I doubt it would get past the publishers.

glindathegoodbitch
Self publish

Please, please write that book

Id read that book!! 😍

This has to be a MN Classic surely?!
My dear father could easily be your father's twin brother op, tight as a gnat's arse doesn't even begin to describe him 🙄
My poor Mum's put up with him for 67 years- she cheerfully admits becoming deaf was a bonus because she can take her hearing aids out and be in blissful silence!

I would buy that book 😂

OP and others
I recommend the book "Shit My Dad Says"
Your dad and he have lots in common

I'd buy it. Pleeeeease write it. You're so funny!

I need to know why he took money from a beggar! 😱

This thread is gold. Please tell us more. I too would buy your book.