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Original poster

Moving in with boyfriend finances

68 replies

Pandywebb · 08/05/2018 21:02

So I need some thoughts and advice.

I am moving in with my boyfriend who has a large 5 bedroom house and no mortgage and I have a 4 bedroom house with lodgers that cover my mortgage although I still pay all bills, council tax etc.

My boyfriend earns at least 4 times as much as me (£200,000 + per annum).

My boyfriend is asking for half towards all bills (e also has his 2 children at home about 70% of the time) and half of all shopping (his kids food as well). I am prepared to do this but he also wants an extra £250 per month almost as an additional rent for the pleasure of moving into his nice house.

Personally I think half the bills and shopping should be enough, especially as he has no mortgage and is such a high earner but he says as I have two lodgers and they cover my mortgage I should pay him extra but I have those lodgers regardless of whether I move in with him or not and I have very high outgoings also I genuinely cannot afford the extra £250 easily.

Is this a fair demand from my boyfriend?

OP posts:

Runninglateeveryday · 08/05/2018 22:31

I think you know yourself what to do, run a mile.

IRefuseToAgree · 08/05/2018 22:34

Sounds like a disaster.

HollowTalk · 08/05/2018 22:37

Oh come on, OP. In every way except the physical, he's an absolute twat.

expatinscotland · 08/05/2018 22:38

And he throws you out? Pays nearly FA maintenance? You've chosen a real winner here. This as all about as funny as a maggot sandwich.

Original poster

Pandywebb · 08/05/2018 22:38

My son is very moody and can be hard work but is still my son but the answer to your question is no, I don’t think my son would ever really be welcome in the house and as for parents/friends needing me then no they wouldn’t be welcome to stay, it has to be about him, his kids, his friends, his family, he really doesn’t understand that my kids are as important to me as his are to him. He just seems to think that my son is so unpleasant that I shouldn’t even want him around, I know it’s not right but I hoped one day his attitude might change but realistically that won’t happen

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 08/05/2018 22:41

Pandy, he's a fuckwit. You're wasting your time and your life.

dipsticky · 08/05/2018 22:42

He pays maintenance of £200 pm and earns £200k a year. What the actual...?

HollowTalk · 08/05/2018 22:43

For god's sake, why are you even talking to this person? He wants you to disown your own child? And to move in and bankroll him? You'd be crazy to talk to him any more.

dipsticky · 08/05/2018 22:44

Have you posted about this guy before? It's all sounding familiar...

How does he react when you say NO THANKS....?

Original poster

Pandywebb · 08/05/2018 22:46

Yes I posted once before when he first suggested I pay this much to get some opinions!! I’ve told him today I won’t pay and he went mad calling me a money grabbing cunt and now he’s giving me the silent treatment which is pretty normal

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 08/05/2018 22:48

And you're with this abuse cockwomble why? Honestly, he called you a money grabbing cunt and is silent. And you still plan to talk to him? You need some serious help. My son is super hard work. But the chance of my putting a relationship with some bloke before ours are lower than absolute zero.

Bitchywaitress · 08/05/2018 22:53

Run for the hills OP!

So he wants you to pay rent, to sleep in his bed? Don't tenants get their own room for £250+bills round your way?

He doesn't have a mortgage but still wants rent from you? Will he also bill you for Sky TV when you don't have it? Ridiculous.

He sounds like a tight fisted wanker.

Bitchywaitress · 08/05/2018 22:54

Just saw your update and he sounds awful.

JaniceBattersby · 08/05/2018 22:55

Well in that case I’d just make a private resolution that it’s over. Don’t contact him. When you haven’t begged for his forgiveness in a few days it will start killing him. Then he’ll try and get in touch to demand your apology and will realise he’s been blocked. Oh dear.

Money issues aside, he isn’t kind to you OP. No relationship can thrive without kindness

rainingcatsanddog · 08/05/2018 22:55

Use his silence as a reason to leave the relationship. Why would you tolerate this for 5 YEARS?!

HollowTalk · 08/05/2018 22:58

he went mad calling me a money grabbing cunt

Can you tell us why you're with this hideous man?

LineyErgoSum · 08/05/2018 22:58

And he doesn't earn £200k a year. He's lying, he's skint, and he thinks you're his bail out card.

Hence the nastiness when you don't do what he needs.

Original poster

Pandywebb · 08/05/2018 23:02

No trust me he does, probably much more with bonuses!! He is an executive with one of the worlds largest companies, I was very conservative with my estimate!

OP posts:

Original poster

Pandywebb · 08/05/2018 23:04

I think I’ve just started to wake up and smell the coffee and this thread has helped..in amongst all the drama he can be funny and charming and I guess that’s why I’ve stayed so long but I know enough is enough

OP posts:

LineyErgoSum · 08/05/2018 23:08

Then he's a coke addict, gambler, tight fucker, child neglecter or control freak. Or possibly most of those.

How much of his financial paperwork have you seen? (Although really, does it matter? He's a wanker.)

theeyeofthestormchaser · 08/05/2018 23:09

Oh my god, he sounds awful and abusive. Bin him off and run a mile. He’s tight, mean, hates your dc, your friends wouldn’t be welcome in the house, and he calls you a cunt?? I’d leave him for the last alone.

Singlenotsingle · 08/05/2018 23:17

I can't see that there are any advantages from your point of view. He gets extra cash, a warm body in his bed, someone to do his housework AND he can throw you out every time you have a disagreement so no security. What do you get?

Lollypop701 · 08/05/2018 23:19

He is a narcissist... wake up and smell the coffee

YetAnotherNewName1000 · 08/05/2018 23:25

He called you a money grabbing cunt....run, fast and far.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 08/05/2018 23:52

So if you move in with him you will never be able to live with your son again?

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

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