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Original poster

Who should pay the bill on a first date?

57 replies

Justposting · 26/04/2018 22:34

Do you offer to pay half the bill on a first date or do you let the man pay for your meal?

And if you’re a man do you get offended when the women offer to pay, or is this something which is expected?

OP posts:

KnittedBobbleHat · 26/04/2018 22:35

I split the bill

PurpleDaisies · 26/04/2018 22:36

Split the bill. Everyone’s happy.

PurpleDaisies · 26/04/2018 22:36

Why should the man pay?

GrumpyOldMare · 26/04/2018 22:38

Pay half no matter if it's a first date or the 100th one.

But that's me,I hate the feeling of being ''beholden'' to anyone if you get what I mean.I like to pay my own way.

Original poster

Justposting · 26/04/2018 22:40

I agree with splitting the bill, it’s something I just asked as many people believe this is something the man should do, however I believe as women we should offer to split the bill,

OP posts:

BonnieF · 26/04/2018 22:41

Definitely split the bill.

Equality means equality, and it works both ways.

ScreamingValenta · 26/04/2018 22:43

Another bill-splitter here.

PurpleDaisies · 26/04/2018 22:43

I believe as women we should offer to split the bill

Why “offer to pay”? That still perpetuates the idea that the man by rights should pay and women choose whether to contribute or not. Women should just pay half (or their fair share).

MongerTruffle · 26/04/2018 22:44

The person who invited the other (though I think this should be done for all meals anyway).

gamerchick · 26/04/2018 22:46

Depends on who asked. If I do the asking then I pay. Much to the bemusement of the last dude I took for a coffee once. If he asks them I would offer but would be a bit if he got a calculator out.

Graduate223 · 26/04/2018 22:46

I think if a man really likes you, he will want to pay, and if a woman really likes him, she will accept him paying. Splitting the bill is firmly in the friend zone.

PurpleDaisies · 26/04/2018 22:49

I think if a man really likes you, he will want to pay, and if a woman really likes him, she will accept him paying. Splitting the bill is firmly in the friend zone.

Rubbish. It’s obvious if you’re in the friend zone or not. “Letting” the man pay is irrelevant. If me paying my fair share puts someone off dating me, it’s an easy way to weed out men who don’t respect my right to make my own decisions.

NoNoCharlieRascal · 26/04/2018 22:49

I think if a man really likes you, he will want to pay, and if a woman really likes him, she will accept him paying. Splitting the bill is firmly in the friend zone.

Surely we've moved on from this? When dating my now dh we split or took turns. Financially we were both in the same place so it made sense.

Original poster

Justposting · 26/04/2018 22:50

I used the word “offer” because my DH has never asked or accepted me to pay for any of our dates, I have offered on our dates but now have just learned that this is something he likes to do, I didn’t say that I expected men to pay, it’s from my personal experience my dh never liked me paying so I don’t offer when we go out now

OP posts:

Shen0102 · 26/04/2018 22:53

It's always kind to insist even if you know the person is going to fork out for the bill.

Either way I'm happy to split the bill if they take up on my offer

Bluntness100 · 26/04/2018 22:56

I think if a man really likes you, he will want to pay, and if a woman really likes him, she will accept him paying

What as in I like you so you can pay for me 🤣

Eh split the bill. It's 2018. Ffs. We are equal right. Let's try not to forget that.

Americantan · 26/04/2018 22:58

Take turns either with rounds or whole nights. Or one buys drinks, the other food. No need to make it equal to the penny but ensure it’s broadly evened out. I can’t understand why anyone would approach dating in any other way in 2018. The only men I’ve ever let pay for me have been my bosses during working lunches or dinners and then it’s probably the company dollar.

CrazyAss · 26/04/2018 23:05

Almost always split the bill on a first date. Exception is if the inviter has snuck an unexpectedly expensive date on the invitee (thinking of a friend who turned up for a drinks date to find a table with a minimum spend of £250 had been booked...).

I wouldn't go on a second date with a man who had issues with me going halves - we just wouldn't get on long term.

ilovesooty · 28/04/2018 00:06

I'd simply expect to split the bill.

19lottie82 · 28/04/2018 16:54

If a man invited me on a date, I would expect him to offer to pay, but I would offer to pay half and wouldn’t be offended if he accepted, although I wouldn’t really expect him to.

Saying that, if I had no intention of seeing him again, I would insist on paying half. And if I did want to see him again I would definitely pay the next time.

That1950sMum · 28/04/2018 16:58

I think it depends who invited the other out. If a man asked me to dinner I would expect him to pay, but would offer half. If he did pay, I'd pay on a second date.

SilverySurfer · 28/04/2018 18:38

I think if a man really likes you, he will want to pay, and if a woman really likes him, she will accept him paying

I think this is bullshit and it should be 50/50 - unless you are a time traveller from 1918.

MuttsNutts · 01/05/2018 18:36

I’d suggest splitting the bill. If he ‘insisted’ I would do one of two things:

a) If I had decided I wouldn’t see him again (and I would have by the time the bill came) I would firmly insist right back and make sure I’d paid my share, or:

b) Let him get it but tell him it’s on me next time.

Easy

Dancingleopard · 01/05/2018 18:40

I think it’s proper tight fisted if a bloke asks to split.

Dh paid for our meal then we went next door in the bar and both got hammered sharing the rounds. He was a keeper

AnduinsGirl · 01/05/2018 18:40

I would go expecting to split and wouldn't care less if he accepted, but if he really wanted to pay, I'd graciously accept and make a mental note to do the same next time.

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