21, in university and in debt.

[MustardYellow]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post and I joined mumsnet today looking for some practical advice.

I moved from the Caribbean to the UK when I was quite young and my mother struggled financially for quite a few years.
I have worked as a bartender since the age of 18, which was tough as the bar was in a rough area of south east London and I often found myself leaving work at 3am (sometimes later) and getting home at around 5am by relying on night buses and a 20 minute walk home. Often I would have to work on a Sunday, get home at 2am and be up at 6am for sixth form the next day. I also got a second job as a customer assistant in the summer.
My parents weren't happy about this but I felt I had no choice as I was aware that my mum and stepdad had no savings for me to go to university and my father lives abroad and has never contributed financially in any way. I also was saving to start a business and learn to drive, other things which my parents could not not help with.

I went to uni at 19 outside of London and continued to work in another bar and a flexible part time role with the university. By this time I was proud to have just over £5000 in savings, which I was hoping to use to build my business (to create more income and allow me to work less in second year) and to start saving for a house deposit.
This all went wrong when during the Christmas break 2016, the police came to our house and arrested my mother for something she did not do. I can't go into detail about the arrest because I don't want anyone to find out that I've posted here.

Because of this, my mother was unable to work as the case stretched out for over a year, even though she had not been charged. The case was dropped in late 2017 and she has still not been rehired or able to find work. My stepfather has always been stingy and has not helped her a lot financially during that time. I had to lend her all of my savings to pay bills and she has had to take out a payment plan on her credit cards which has ruined her credit. I also have over £1000 of credit card debt from a vet bill my stepdad refused to help with and a £500 student overdraft which is thankfully interest free until next year.

Sorry, I posted too soon,

During this time I have had to travel back to London regularly to do shift work, as the bar that I was working at during term time fired everyone and hired all new staff over the summer of 2017 and I have been unable to find a steady local job.
This has affected my grades a lot as i failed the first semester of my second year and need to retake extra exams. I got an online tutor to help but had to cancel as I could no longer afford the £20p/h. I have also been unable to find a summer internship this year so in addition with my terrible grades I have probably ruined my chances of a good future.

I find it hard to get of bed, clean my room, socialise. I sometimes miss uni if there I haven't had time to meal prep because I know that I can't afford the food on campus. I have a boyfriend and our relationship hasn't been 100% great but he's been a shoulder to cry on when things get too much. I just feel like all my friends are enjoying their early 20's and I'm struggling through with no end in sight.
I'm tired of gong through everything by myself because I don't feel like I can burden my mother more than she already is, she already feels bad about needing to borrow the money. I am tired of crying.
My drink was spiked in first year and I was raped. I haven't told either my mother or my boyfriend this, only a close friend, because I know how his reaction will be.

Some of my friends get £300+ per month from their parents and while I wish my parents were able to help me more I'm happy for them that they do not have to struggle like I do.
I'm just angry that after struggling home from work on night buses, being spat at and sexually harassed at work I have nothing to show for it. No house deposit, struggling to establish my business and no savings.
I have asked my mum to ask if my stepdad can help her to repay a small amount of the money back as I don't have any money in my account and I need it to get through the last couple months at uni, he gave her no answer. I also need to somehow find the money to pay for a British citizenship, which is over £1200.
I was diagnosed with PCOS and would like to try some holistic remedies but I cant even afford this.

I'm sorry for such a long post but I really need the advice I don't know what else to do. I got the credit card debt transferred to another interest free card but I have no way to pay the debt or rebuild my savings.
I'd appreciate any help or advice
Thanks

Have you approached your student union for advice on financial hardship?

You might be eligible for some kind of help from your uni.

Mustardyellow I am sorry but I did skimread the first time and now I realised you were raped. Did you go to the police or any uni health services? I am so sorry you are suffering when you have worked so hard.

You are an inspiration. My parents both died when I was a teen so I know how hard it can be to have noone to turn to.

I is have hardship loans for this sort of situation - you should get the money quickly.
Could you move in with your Mum and commute to uni to save on rent/help your mum pay bills?

I spoke to the university about a hardship fund, but I was told that as I received the maximum student loan I probably wouldn't be eligible. It would be ok if I had money left over from the student loan I've had to lend all of it to my mother to help with bills and my little sister.

Movablefeast, I didn't go to the police because I didn't want the university or my boyfriend to know. I went to a sexual health clinic that was not connected to the university.
I'm sorry to hear about your parents.

NameyMcChangeRae My family live in London and the university is in the midlands. I can't afford to buy a car.
I was considering taking a year out of uni to work but I've already paid the tenancy on my accommodation for third year

You just can't be in a situation where you forfeit your whole future. Is your mum not entitled to benefits? You can't and mustn't get into anymore debt for your mum, although your situation sounds horrendous. Are you involved in any faith/church community?

Thanks Mustardyellow but I am much older than you with teenage daughters of my own and you have to put yourself first now.

Do you have a personal tutor at Uni? Does anyone in your academic dept know what is going on?

Movablefeast , I spoke to the counselling service at the university and they said that they are only able to help with coping techniques (breathing exercises etc) and not actual advice on what to do.
My personal tutor just told me study harder and insulted my parents.
I went to a lecturer and he was kind enough to let me borrow some study material from his office.

Every time I try to put myself first money gets in the way. My bio dad is not someone I can ask for help and has recently banished me from visiting his house (but that's another story).
I'm not sure about benefits because my stepdad earns he's just stingy and my mum has not been fired they are just not giving her any more shifts until they get some official information, so i don't know if she would be entitled to unemployment benefits.

I help out because I know my sister would suffer if I didn't. I spent a lot of my childhood looking after her (which I didn't mind) and am attached to her if that makes sense. I want her to have a better life than I do

Goodness you sound an amazing person! Who is also putting everybody else first you need to be a little selfish (although I don’t see it that way but feel you might) and out yourself first to finish your degree. Can you work term time near the Uni instead of traveling back and forth.

Are you at uni in a city? Are there any local supports or services?

I am so sorry you sound such a caring and responsible person

Can you tell us the city you are studying in?

Thanks Ginorchoc, I dont think I'm amazing to be honest, just really stressed out.
I have flexible employment with my university but haven't been able to do many shifts as they always clash with my timetabled lectures.
I have been applying for jobs near my uni but haven't been hired so far.

A friend is also having difficulties with money and suggested I approach a sugardaddy , I'm not judgemental about women who do sex work but this isn't something I can see myself doing especially as I have a boyfriend. She told me that she knows quite a few students doing this for and I am grateful I am not in that position

Hardship funds are not connected with how much student loan you get.
You must have been told wrong by your uni

Also, how did you become aware of mumsnet at such a young age?
Have you thought about posting on martins money saving expert for advice?

I'll have to speak to the adviser again when I go back, that's what I was told at the time.
My stepsister has a child and has talked about posting here for advice. I figured that a lot of people on here would have experience with money management/debt etc and be able to offer advice.

I haven't posted there I'll look into it. Thanks

Also, your OP implies that you are regularly going back to London to do work in a bar? Surely if you moved back with your parents and commuted to lectures, it’d even out as you’d save on this expense?

I work with a company in London that allows you to pick your own shifts, so for football matches/ in stadiums etc. This is not the same company that I worked for before I went to university.
I will often go back on a Saturday if shifts are available which costs around £7 each way on the coach.
I have lectures every weekday except Wednesday and all start at 9am. The coach journey is 2.5 hours each way so I don't know if I could commute

I would suggest finish your degree. Save up to get your British Citizenship you will need this to apply for permanent job when you finish your degree. If you get a permanent job, you don't have to start paying back your student loan until you earn over a certain amount 20+k a year. Your mum may be able to claim some benefits the job centre or citizens advice should be able to advise. Regarding saving for a house deposit, you also need to save for solicitor fees, property survey, moving costs, mortgage arrangement fee, other costs. I would expect that saving for a house would take several years. You are very kind helping your mum, but she needs to help herself and seek help for herself.

Have you received the maximum maintenance loan as I assume you will have since neither of your parents are contributing. Also both my children automatically received an extra amount of funding directly from their uni's as I am on a low income am divorced.
Forget about saving for a house you need to concentrate on day to day living.

For all and any suffering from the imposed debts of accessing education, there is a relatively simple remedy.

Most UK Uni courses are known to be mis-sold linked to mis-sold Student Loans.

There is an organisation assisting Graduates and Students who attended known wrongdoing Universities which continue to evade Consumer Credit Protection legislation dating back many years.

In short, when any organisation sells products and services on credit (linked to loans) they MUSt by law be authorised to do so.

Parliament prescribes the consequences of not be authorised when knowingly selling services/products linked to credit agreements. ALL amounts paid to the wrongdoing organisation ARE REPAID to the consumer! Linked consumer credit agreements such as student loans are then classed as irredeemably unenforceable and orders are made to cancel the linked loans leaving the wronged consumer (Student) free of the lifelong financial liabilities the linked wrongdoers (UK Universities & Student Loans Company debts) jointly involved themselves in mis-selling.

www.projectslc.org provide a Free Review as they hold all the data upon the wrongdoing UK Uni/HEIs.

Many find when refunded their Uni Fees and debt free, life can be lived free of the worries caused by these linked mis-selling wrongdoers.

www.projectslc.org was set up FCA investigators with decades of the experience pursuing wrongdoers operating in the financial services regulated markets. They are supported by teams of very knowledgeable and experienced lawyers who will act should any Uni not comply with their obligations to refund fees from their wrongdoing.

Hope this assists.

To be fair most students won't have any money for a house deposit. Student loan money is meant for you to do your degree not help your family. I think you need to make the hard decision to finish your degree and then when you have a steady job maybe you can do the other things.

StepChange can give advice. All the best x

Your mother sounds like she could become a bottomless pit where money is concerned. She needs to apply for whatever benefits she is entitled to and manage on that. It's just not realistic for you as a student to take on the responsibility for her finances, you need to prioritise getting your degree and finding a good job afterwards. You also need to be realistic about what is achievable in the short term, eg you don't need a house deposit yet. There is no point working hard and saving and then giving it all to someone else, becoming stressed and in danger of failing your degree. In your position I would suggest staying in your university city and not going back to London very often to distance yourself a bit so you can focus on your final uni year.