21, in university and in debt.

[MustardYellow]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post and I joined mumsnet today looking for some practical advice.

I moved from the Caribbean to the UK when I was quite young and my mother struggled financially for quite a few years.
I have worked as a bartender since the age of 18, which was tough as the bar was in a rough area of south east London and I often found myself leaving work at 3am (sometimes later) and getting home at around 5am by relying on night buses and a 20 minute walk home. Often I would have to work on a Sunday, get home at 2am and be up at 6am for sixth form the next day. I also got a second job as a customer assistant in the summer.
My parents weren't happy about this but I felt I had no choice as I was aware that my mum and stepdad had no savings for me to go to university and my father lives abroad and has never contributed financially in any way. I also was saving to start a business and learn to drive, other things which my parents could not not help with.

I went to uni at 19 outside of London and continued to work in another bar and a flexible part time role with the university. By this time I was proud to have just over £5000 in savings, which I was hoping to use to build my business (to create more income and allow me to work less in second year) and to start saving for a house deposit.
This all went wrong when during the Christmas break 2016, the police came to our house and arrested my mother for something she did not do. I can't go into detail about the arrest because I don't want anyone to find out that I've posted here.

Because of this, my mother was unable to work as the case stretched out for over a year, even though she had not been charged. The case was dropped in late 2017 and she has still not been rehired or able to find work. My stepfather has always been stingy and has not helped her a lot financially during that time. I had to lend her all of my savings to pay bills and she has had to take out a payment plan on her credit cards which has ruined her credit. I also have over £1000 of credit card debt from a vet bill my stepdad refused to help with and a £500 student overdraft which is thankfully interest free until next year.

As someone who had a really hard time at uni and nearly dropped out (though for totally different reasons), I’m so glad I persisted. It then took me a year to find a job but again, I’m so glad I persisted. It sounds you like you have so much tenacity and drive; please don’t give up now! I promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks everyone for the replies, I took a few days study break so haven't had a chance to check any messages.
I am going to speak with my university when I go back and try to work full time in the summer.

My mum is job hunting and is looking into possibly suing (sp?) the person who made the false allegation.
BusyRoly999 I'll look into that thank you

OP, citizen advice bureau gives free and impartial advice.
I have been in your shoes, many years ago. I did manage to finish uni, but it was so so hard, I hear you and feel for you. I had a baby to care for as well.

Many years later, I’ve got a job that pays all the bills and leaves a bit extra, I still to extra shifts and squirrel money and food away. I bought a place in my 40s. I am content but I won’t forget what I’ve been through.
You’re not alone. You’ve been dealt a shit hand, but you can get through it and to the other side.
Put your chin down, finish uni, nearly there!

Your mum may well not be entitled to extra benefits because she's technically employed. A family member of mine has been bitten by this and it's why zero hours contracts are horrendous. Basically, if you quit the job you're making yourself unemployed and therefore not entitled to job seekers. While you're employed you're not entitled to benefits. There is no motivation for a company to fire you/ make you redundant so they can keep you locked into a 0 hours contract indefinitely with no shifts, effectively leaving you with no income and no possibility to access benefits.

Student loan/ grants are calculated of parental household income. Her step-Dad's wage will be taken into account regardless of whether he contributes to the student. If he earns over the threshold it will limit access to maximum loan amounts. The student hardship fund is not means tested though but it is discretionary.

Surely you Mum has the basics if she lives with your stepdad? Food, a roof etc? Same for your sister? What exactly did she spend your money on?

I reported your post about where you are studying so hopefully it'll be deleted soon.

Don't underestimate yourself - you've come through so much and you've acheived a great deal. The debt is an issue but if you can be kind to yourself and look after yourself, you'll have more emotional resources to deal with it. It's sad your university hasn't helped more up to now, but they should really change this and support you.

You could also see about accessing support through a local rape crisis if you haven't already. There's one near you with counselling and support available although they may have a waiting list. If you have trauma from being raped, it can have a lasting effect and make everything else seem more difficult.