New partner and equity in my house

[VIvien64]

Hi,
I divorced about a year ago and my husband allows me to keep all of the equity in my house because he knew I would leave it to our children. At the time he had a much younger new partner of 23 (he was 45) and I wasn't alone. I work full time and so does he (and his partner). I've met someone new who is a widower and he's sold his house and come to live with me. He's spent some money on our home and is now not working and livid with me and my three children. His youngest child lives with us and his oldest are adult and live away from us. He wants to feel my house is his too and wants to get married and have shard assets that we leave to all our children. I feel a moral obligation to ringfence some of equity (my ex husbands) for my children, especially as they're younger. He's angry about I and feels I should shade everyone. Happy to share my equity and my pension and allow him to live in my house. What should I do? I love him and his kids but want to do the right thing.

This is the bit that got me plans to return to work but he's spend a lot of equity on holidays and cars

When he returns to work you could sell him some equity in the house, and the money to get you could put into trust for your children. But if he doesn't return to work and doesn't pay rent then he is just a sponger.

So he sold his house, splashed the money and now wants you to give him part of your house?! Please tell me you know this is ridiculous? You don't get something for nothing just because you want it !

I agree you shold see a solicitor. As this is a family matter (because you're wondering what stake he'd have in the house if you split up) then you will probably be able to see one for free - most family lawyers offer a free first half hour.

Also If he wants security he should buy a house? He should not be allowed to just have some of your house that's ridiculous and I'd be FUMING if I was your ex! Your children need to inherit everything and have a secure roof over their heads? He gave you the house in the divorce for this reason.

So basically he’s spent his kids inheritance on holidays and cars but wants you to now reduce your kids inheritance by splitting it with him and his kids?

No.

PhuntSox sadly I think he sees OP as a easy target because she is an easy target
Not completely easy though - so glad she smelled enough of a rat to post here!

I don't think you should have accepted money from him to improve your house if he is never to have any share in it. Pay it back and say from now on this is your house and if he doesn't like it he can buy his own house. You can't have a half and half arrangement.

Is he really as bad as everyone on here is making out.

But if you both have money and DCs I don't see why the money you had before you got together can't be assigned to your DCs and the money he had before you got together is his DCs. And in the future what you earn you share with all DCs. Seems reasonable.

But don't assume his adult DCs won't need money in the future.
They may be out of the picture at the moment but who knows what could happen bankruptcy/ divorce, in fact that could happen to any child so if you have an arrangement where all money is shared there could be a risk of big discrepancies in the future.