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Original poster

Where would I stand on DP needing to give up work to help me.....

31 replies

zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 10:25

Pg with twins. Have 3 children, 5, 2 and 11 months. We are about to be moved to a 3rd floor maisonette with no lift. I get very bad SPD. I am never in a million years going to manage with ginormous bump, a double pram and carrying at least one child.... plus when they arrive I will have had CS #4.

DP says he can't just give up work because we wouldn't be entitled to any help.

Is there any way around it?

OP posts:
Tortington · 28/03/2007 10:27

phne social services ask if there is any mothers help kind of stuff your entitled to.

i did but they said no - 3 under 3

but you will have 5 at 5 and under

worth asking

Mumpbump · 28/03/2007 10:29

Suspect the answer is no, but fathers with children under 5 can take unpaid parental leave - can't remember how much, but there is a fixed number of days. Provided you can manage financially, that would probably be an option...

The other thing you could do is try to find out if there is anywhere that runs childcare courses near you and contact them to offer one of their students some "work experience", I guess!

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 10:31

or homestart offer a volunteer help in some areas I think

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 10:32

That was something I had thought of but if I'm anything like I was after having dd2 last year it might not be a good idea!! I'm fairly certain I had a degree of ante-natal depression and couldn't bear to be around anyone! That's why I'm hoping that there might be something that would cover the fact that SPD will prevent me getting up and down 3 flights of stairs and therefore need dp to help me. Something in the back of my mind is telling me that such a thing doesn't exist though.

OP posts:
Tortington · 28/03/2007 10:34

social services will really no get into anything they dont have to. their resources are stretched. so dont be frightened of giving them a call. they will know of allt he agencies in your area and know who best to refer you to for help.

please can i ask about rd floor maisonette?

whats that about?

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 10:36

council place. Our private landlord screwed us over for thousands last year so we had to end up registering as homelss so now we've been offered a maisonette - but it's on 3rd floor and it's looking likely that we'll have to accept it as the landlord of our current house needs his house back.

OP posts:
moondog · 28/03/2007 10:38

OMG

Tortington · 28/03/2007 10:39

dont accept - tell them you want ground floor

as soon as you accept it you will lose all your points and have to start again from bottom and spend the next 5 yers on the top floor.

your landlord can't physically remove you without major legal proceedings.

let the maisonette go.

hold on for something better
what area of the country are you in?

have you seen your local housing advice centre?

if you have any queries at all

phone shelter - they are the dogs bollocks when it comes to screwing over your council to help with your housing enquiries.

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 10:43

Thing is the place we are in now is council temporary accomodation - just happens that they rent the house from the man who owns it and he wants it back by May 12th. The list of properties we can bid on comes out fortnightly and we are running out of time. If we don't find somewhere asap they will purt us into something else temporary which could be anywhere in the city and will likely be something vile. Also mweans moving dd from school again and we need to settle. Ground floor places are like gold-dust. They are generally given to severely disabled tenants, which is fair enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 10:44

What kind of thing are shelter?

OP posts:
tribpot · 28/03/2007 10:49

I'd speak to your local branch of Carers . That's more for people with long term conditions but they will almost certainly be able to point you in the right direction re: benefits and whatnot.

Tortington · 28/03/2007 11:51

shelter is a housing advice organisation. a charity that help the homelessshelter

the site is an arseache to navigate but is cocca of infomration.

if you want specific legal stuff they can tell you housing law over the phone. as wellas general advice.

you must phone first thing it opens - or else you will be on hold for hours - literally.

Tortington · 28/03/2007 11:54

i'm thinking in regards to you being made homeless from where you are.

they will know everything

what the landlord should have done legally

have you got the legal documents he sould have served you?

has this eviction been done by the book?

if not they are screwed and have to start again

gives you time to wait for something better

and remember

squeeky wheel gets the oil

the louder you shout and complain
the bigger gob you have
the more you complain about everything.

all teh little repairs

get the newspapers get the nespapers. get the newspapers.

dont lie on your back and take it up the arse. fight fight fight.

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 11:56

I will try them, thanks. Although it may be too late.

Do you think my midwife would know the ins and outs of being stuck due to SPD?

OP posts:
Tortington · 28/03/2007 11:57

i dont know what that is

but i think if you need touse it as an excuse not to take the top floor flat or be consiered for one they could write you a note or inform your doctor so your doctor could write a letter to help your housing situation

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 11:58

No, we were made homeless last year. We're in Council temporary accomodation now. The council rents this house, and the owner needs it back - our time in temp accom was due to finish in april/may anyhow so it's only a couple of weeks early. The deal is you get temp accom for 8/9 months, then they boost your points to put you to the top of the ist, and you choose which property you want to bid for....but because of the timescale we need to take this one really.

OP posts:
Tortington · 28/03/2007 12:01

i'm sure the owner needs it back, however there are specific legal requirements to evicting people.

if you wanted to drag it on a bit shelter could tell you what these are specifically.and yuo could see whether the council has carried out its duty to the letter of the law

charliecat · 28/03/2007 21:04

I think from what ive quickly read that yes the owner wants his house back, but if you accept this maisonette you will be there FOREVER.
Yet if you hold out, on medical grounds your points will be boosted. Wait!

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 21:16

We can't hold out. The agreement of being given temporary acomm is that you are here for 8-9 months. At the end of that time you are given extra points to bump you to the top of the list. You then have to bid on any 3 bed flats and maisonettes which are listed in the magazine. After one year in there you can do what you want or you can be moved earlier at the manager's discression. If you don't bid on anything because you are picking and choosing, the council will just give you somewhere and that could be anything and ^anywhere. This way we have the option to choose. I have 3 little ones to think about so we can't start messing about and lose our current options.

My main issue is having help from dp for a little while when the baby/twins come along. I just wondered if SPD is taken seriously as a medical condition which would give grounds for dp to be off work to help me so I don't end up on crutches or in a wheelchair and for us to be able to claim something for a few months until he goes back.

OP posts:
charliecat · 28/03/2007 21:18

Totally have no idea about that ZC, could you get to citizens advice?

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 21:20

I think I'll have to cc. I doubt we'll get very far because I remember the first time I went to the doctor and told him I thought I had SPD he said he had no idea hat I was talking about!!

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 28/03/2007 21:25

I have a friend who is an SAHM with depression, her husband left work to look after her and the children, but because she gets the GP to give her a sicknote, he can claim benefits despite having left his work voluntarily.

charliecat · 28/03/2007 21:26

Would you be entitled to incapacity or dla? And he could be your carer.

charliecat · 28/03/2007 21:27

You can possibly download the application forms in PDF format to look at what questions they ask, to get an idea of how ill you need to be.

Original poster
zephyrcat · 28/03/2007 21:29

So in theory, if I get my midwife/doctor to write a letter stating that I am having real trouble walking any distance/lifting etc then I could give it to dp to show as grounds for having to be at home for a couple of months.... sounds promising. Hopefully his work will keep a job open for him as he'll be going back asap. I just know that come september it's going to be Hell!!!

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