Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

So.........as we are being discriminated against yet again......

66 replies

badelaide · 26/03/2007 21:28

for not being married, how does dp go about getting parental responsibility for our 2 older dcs?
I spose we have to go to a solicitor and pay heaps do we?

OP posts:
Loopymumsy · 26/03/2007 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lisad123 · 26/03/2007 21:31

if name is on birth certificates he has it anyway. If not, then yes will have to apply but dont think it costs too much
Lisa

Original poster
badelaide · 26/03/2007 21:32

They are 6 and 7, yes he is on the birth certificates

OP posts:
Original poster
badelaide · 26/03/2007 21:34

Lisa, that's not the case (until a couple of years ago, therefore he does have parental responsibility for ds2,8m)

OP posts:
edam · 26/03/2007 21:39

Why do you think you are being discriminated against? If you want the legal recognition of being married, get married. You don't have to have a big wedding or change your name or do anything other than get a couple of witnesses and sign a piece of paper.

Don't mean to be harsh but discrimination is a serious matter. Gay people were discriminated against because there was no way of having their relationships formalised until civil partnerships were introduced. But heterosexual couples have always had the option.

Original poster
badelaide · 26/03/2007 21:39

....sorry if that sounded a bit tetchy, I'm just drowning in paperwork!

OP posts:
Orinoco · 26/03/2007 21:43

Message withdrawn

EllieK · 26/03/2007 21:45

doesn't cost anything, we did it, get the forms from the court office, fill them out, sign them, return them to court office. then wait for letter confirming paarental responsibility for dp

EllieK · 26/03/2007 21:46

if he's already on the birth certificate you don't need a new copy so the £3.50 wouldn't apply

Whoooosh · 26/03/2007 21:47

If he is on the birth certificate then he is recognised as their parent-therefore has full parental reponsiility....

Original poster
badelaide · 26/03/2007 21:54

Whoosh, that's only the case for children registered after 1 dec 2003

OP posts:
runkid · 26/03/2007 21:56

He does not automatically have PR even if he is on the birth certificate that is only if you where married but the law was changed in 2004 i think.

You can fill in a Pr form on line it doesnt cost anything.

families need fathers is the site i looked at

EllieK · 26/03/2007 21:59

the law changed during december 2003, before that being on the birth certificate has no bearing on pr, after it does. typical me, missed it by a month or two!

EllieK · 26/03/2007 22:00

however my solicitor did say that most courts would be unlikely to refuse pr if it came to it whether it was a before or after situation

still decided to do it legally tho

ScoobyDooooo · 26/03/2007 22:04

You are right the law changed in 2003 so anyone who had children before this & was/is not married the father does not have PR even if he is on the brth certificate, my ds was born in 2002 & dd is 200, dp has PR over dd automatically but does not have it over ds at all....

Original poster
badelaide · 26/03/2007 22:05

Edam, it is undeniable that dp and I were/are discriminated against because we do not wish to be married. Nothing to with having a wedding, we do not wish to be married.
And don't get me onto the "married couple's tax allowance"

OP posts:
ScoobyDooooo · 26/03/2007 22:05

DD in 2006

wheresthehamster · 26/03/2007 22:06

I'm not sure if someone has answered you badelaide as I've got confused with the replies but all you need to do is fill in responsibility agreement forms and take them to your local court with the birth certificates. I can't remember where the forms came from - the court probably, or the CAB will help you.

I don't think it costs anything although it was 12 years ago we did ours. This has reminded me that we haven't done dd3's yet.

SueW · 26/03/2007 22:07

What married couple's tax allowance? That went years ago.

SueW · 26/03/2007 22:08

Unless you are quite old, of course (70-ish + must count as 'quite old' I think, without being too discriminatory?)

lionheart · 26/03/2007 22:09

That's what I thought, SueW.

Hulababy · 26/03/2007 22:09

No such thing as "married couple's tax allowance" unkess you are over 65 now. Hasn't been for quite a while now.

Judy1234 · 26/03/2007 22:10

Yes you just fill out a form. No discrimination at all. Plenty of men dispute who is the father of children so it's an important subject to get right and I think in law children born in marriage are presumed to be their fathers (although many actually aren't!)

Original poster
badelaide · 26/03/2007 22:13

Oh there now, I've outed myself as grumpy and ignorant.
Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Aloha · 26/03/2007 22:15

You just fill in a form. No discrimination! You are choosing as a couple to opt out of certain obligations (such as the obligation to support each other if the relationship ends) and so you also have to fill in the odd form for matters like this. It's hardly the slave trade.