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Original poster

Unmarried property mess

45 replies

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 00:44

Name changed. Not sure if I should post in legal. Partner and I are splitting. No children, sadly, and no legal standing for me with the house. No marriage. These are also the main reasons we are splitting up.

Can anyone advise me a bit with the property. Things are a mess but fairly amicable at the moment. He has moved out. When 'we' bought the house it was him, his mother and father on the deeds. I was excluded, much to my consternation, but it was agreed we would draw up a legal agreement after the mortgage went though - this never happened. Now his parents are apparently signing the house over to him/getting themselves off the deeds.

Now we are splitting, what are the options? He wants to split fairly. All the original equity was his (mainly his parents' actually). Do we now get married and then divorced? Draw up a cohabitation agreement? The house was bought for 285000 with a mortgage of about 100000. It's now worth about 450000, perhaps more or less.

I know I'm in a dreadful position, have always known so please go easy on me, I know I've been stupid.

OP posts:

KickAssAngel · 21/04/2017 00:49

How much have you put in? Both lump sum up front and paid towards the mortgage?

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 00:53

Apologies, there should have been a question mark up there somewhere ^

OP posts:

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 00:58

I put nothing in upfront. He had already owned a house, I hadn't and had been in education with debts. I have paid towards running costs and mortgage but I earn a lot less than him. I refused to fully participate in costs until the legal stuff was sorted out, which it never was! Now we are splitting up because of all this. I begged him to let me pay into the house. The mortgage is quite affordable and I could easily have paid my share, which was verbally agreed as 1/3.

OP posts:

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 21/04/2017 01:02

You're splitting so no way would you get married and then divorced or draw up a cohabiting agreement. How very odd you would think that

You may be entitled to some money from the house but it depends on how much you contributed to it and what legal declarations you have signed.

You may not be entitled to anything as it's not your property. What makes you think you are entitled to anything?

Which country do you live in? E.g. Scotland.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 21/04/2017 01:03

Hang on, are you saying you didn't pay the share you agreed?

How long did you live there and what did you contribute?

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 01:08

Why is it odd to think that? Those are the options we are considering. The idea is to put things right and to give me some legal protection. We both agree that I am entitled to part of the house.

OP posts:

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 01:08

Yes, I know I'm not entitled to anything! Thanks, very helpful.

OP posts:

Redglitter · 21/04/2017 01:10

If you both agree you're entitled to something then sit down and discuss what that is.

You don't need legal protection if you're both in agreement surely.

GinSwigmore · 21/04/2017 01:11

www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/property_rights_and_the_breakdown_of_a_cohabiting_relationship.html

You did not pay any deposit
Your name is not on deeds
You have no children
I think you'd need to be able to prove you were paying off a third of the mortgage if you were and/or paying for decorating/maintaining/home improvements.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 21/04/2017 01:11

It's odd because it doesn't reflect your situation in any way and is an expensive and time consuming way to get back to the status quo.

Look, if you're going to get chippy then we're not going to be able to help you.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 21/04/2017 01:13

If he wants to give you something then I would think (and this may be far too straightforward for you) a cheque or BACS transfer would be easiest.

No having to make vows nobody's intending to keep and then go through a court process then.

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 01:15

I'm going to ask for this to be deleted, it's too painful. Thanks

OP posts:

Redglitter · 21/04/2017 01:16

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 21/04/2017 01:17

Jeez.

GinSwigmore · 21/04/2017 01:18

No idea what a fair split would be. 60k? A third of the rise in value (if you paid the third of the mortgage, it's not clear what you paid).
If it was towards mortgage and bills then it sounds a bit like a house share/paying non-declared "rent". Would you have been paying the same had you been renting somewhere?/Was cohabiting cheaper?
I am surprised the parents are removing their names tbh

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 01:18

I'm at the end of a 12 year relationship. It's very painful.

OP posts:

GinSwigmore · 21/04/2017 01:22

Sorry if it's painful. We don't know the circumstances/broken promises/who has broken up with who.
But if they have agreed to pay you something, that's quite generous in the circumstances/don't see it too much on here. Good luck.

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 01:24

It was cheaper than renting, for both of us. The parents are removing their names because they feel guilty about their role in this break up. I haven't always contributed because I've been very concerned about the lack of equality between us. It has led to this stand-off. We lived as a couple and paid for furniture, did decorating etc.

OP posts:

GinSwigmore · 21/04/2017 01:24

12 years? That's a long time. How much mortgage was left? I might revise it to 90k depending on how much was paid off.

Original poster

thejewelyoulost · 21/04/2017 01:25

Thanks Gin.

OP posts:

GinSwigmore · 21/04/2017 01:30

^ But clearly you need to get lawyered up love. If he gives you 225k I'd be amazed. 450 - 185 = 265/2 = 132,500 very generous. Or divided by a third if that's what you were to pay/paid in kind, 90k

GinSwigmore · 21/04/2017 01:34

You sound like you need one. It's a shame it has come to this after more than a decade. Easy to say but try not to be bitter, try to think of it as a mutually convenient houseshare and put down whatever he hopefully offers, whether out of guilt or not, into something for you. No idea how old you are or where you are but at least you aren't wasting any more time

3luckystars · 21/04/2017 01:41

This is really sad. I can't believe he is now willing to marry and divorce you to put things right but wouldn't even allow your name to be included in the mortgage over the past 12 years?

It must have really hurt you but his parents were probably advising him.

I'm so sorry. He could sell and write you a cheque for the whole amount and I don't think it will undo what he has put you through. I hope you will be ok.

Good luck girl. X x

Seeingadistance · 21/04/2017 01:42

If things are amicable just now and he wants to split fairly, then the best thing to do would be to see a lawyer as soon as possible and get a commitment to that in writing. I think it would what's called a Minute of Agreement (I'm in Scotland) and it would specify what proportion of the proceeds of the sale of the property (or value of the property) you would receive when it's sold, or from him by a certain date if he's intending to stay there and buy you out.

The notion of getting married and divorced is really odd, btw.

user1492232552 · 21/04/2017 01:46

You need to see a lawyer today and get this in writing or you'll be out the door with nothing. Men tend to move on and find somebody else extremely quickly and at the moment he feels guilty, give it 6 months and it'll all be your fault and he'll owe you nothing !

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