Are you worth a £1million?

[MoneyBags]

DH & I used to be quite good at keeping an eye on our financial affairs until the kids (8 & 5) came along. Since then, we've bumbled on through, just about remembering to stick lumps in ISAs and PEPS, paid off bits of mortgage etc, but not done any active management or review.

Anyway, a number of 'life decisions' prompted us to go to an IFA for a total review. By way of preparation we had to fill in load of summaries of investments/ house prices/ mortgage etc.

Well.... we sat down with him today and discovered that if we add up the net equity in our house (value minus mortgage) and all our savings and investments.... we are worth £1 million

I am truly gobsmacked - it has sort of crept up on us.
The bizarre thing is that we don't feel rich or anything - I use coupons and codes for shopping and regularly buy and sell on eBay. And yet I am a millionaire

'Are you worth a £1million?' as a thread title smacks of bragging.

What did she expects? Loads of replys saying, yes, I am too, isn't it wonderful? Aren't we great?

£1 mio - not a lot these days especially if you already in your 40's.

You can't even retire on it living in the UK.

Why not mention it, this is surely what 'chat' threads are meant for. And whoever doesn't like to hear it doesn't have to be on the thread.

agree that maybe the title wasn't the best, but am still not going to slag off her post.

I can't speak for others who have also objected to this thread, but I don't envy MB her good fortune.

What I object to is her implication that "anyone" can build a secure financial future for themselves if they put their mind to it. By saying something like that, you effectively say that those who DON'T manage to secure themselves financially "must" in some way, be lacking ..... i.e. they are stupid, they are irresponsible, they are naiive, they are spendthrifts, they are lazy etc.

Human nature being what it is that will always be true of some, but it won't be true of ALL and that is what I don't like about this particular thread.

Of course anyone would be pleased to find out they had more money than they thought they had, but to give specific details of what, really, is a lottery win for the vast majority of people, and then to patronisingly go on to say how it (or if not "it", then a secure financial future) could be achieved by ANYONE does demonstrate a mixture of smugness, superiority and a lack of understanding for the circumstances some people find themselves in.

I don't understand why, BTW, when someone gives you a compliment about your child, that you can't just smile and say thanks !

Not just British culture actually. It is considered impolite in France and many other countries to talk openly about your finances. It's not anyone else's business.

Am PMSL at the idea that anyone would ever come on here and say 'oh, yes, me too'.

Any conversation about finances on MN always goes horribly horribly wrong if anyone names a number. There are always people worse off, there are always people who are envious.

Any conversation about finances on MN always goes horribly horribly wrong if anyone names a number.

Those are the words I live by, NQC!

well hello bk, hope you enjoyed your meal.

what a bitchy response to my post!

My 'issue' is that i am wound up by use of terms like 'showing off' and 'bragging' as if to be pleased about how an aspect of life is going and want to discuss that, possibly anonymously (and lets face it, given the response, she's probably extremely glad she name-changed) is a heinous crime.

Personally, although I bow to convention and do not discuss finances, I have never understood the money thing either.

catsmother i understand your objection.

and i'm learning to smile and say thanks.

i didn't think it was any more bitchy than suggesting that i and anyone else who objected to this thread was envious, actually!

re our meal, yes we did thank you, but i thought v. expensive. i hope you enjoyed your evening. if you did, i recommend you try upstairs .

Okay, would something like this have raised as many hackles ? ....

Fantasticsurprise: Wow, I hope you don't mind me coming on here but I've just had some fantastic news which I'd like to share. DP & I have just got back from seeing an IFA as we needed to sort a few things out and while we were going through all our savings, shares etc. we realised that actually, we were a lot better off than we thought we were. I know that sounds a bit silly but neither he nor I are particularly good with checking things like bank statements and so on. Anyway, this news has come as such a relief because it'll enable us to plan our future, and that of the kids too of course, rather differently, plus, we can afford to treat ourselves a bit more often. I'm walking about with a silly grin on my face now.

MNer: That's great - wish I could get surprises like that ! You must tell me your secret.

Fantasticsurprise: I don't have any secrets. I think it's a combination of things. We've both been lucky work wise I suppose because we've always had well paid jobs, plus, we've always managed to buy and sell at the right time. We bought a few shares and stuff years ago as well, but hadn't really kept a close eye on how they were doing. I guess we've just been very very lucky one way or another and I'm over the moon, plus very grateful, for that.

To Mumsnet's credit, there are alot of supportive and sympathetic responses when someone posts about money difficulties. It isn't considered crass, or in poor taste to talk about money in those instances.

We seem to be able to talk about money issues when someone is struggling, but not otherwise. Just think back to the high emotions displayed on the 'should someone have 2 houses' thread or the currently running 'articles like this make me spit feathers' to name only a few.

And with that, I'm off on the school run....

It is possible, over 20 years or so, to lose track of what you have - especially if you have been fortunate engouh to have the cash in early days to stash stuff away.

If I'd been asked to estimate my own savings, I ouwld probabvly have come up a figure half of what we are actually worth, purely becasue it is so fragmented (I'd even forgotten about my endowments when I was doing the list here, from an old mortgage). We have just been shocked by the value of our house - our neighbours have just put their house on the maket for what we though was an obsence price - were actually expecting an obsence amount above that - and they've got it! So that adds another hefty sum on to what we thought our "worth" was. And I'm not talking about London prices.

And again, if I'd been asked about my ICI/AstraZeneca shares, a few years ago I owuldn't have had a clue about how much they had grone - to me they were "free" shares, so I had never really looked at them.

Doesn't stop me shopping at Lidl though!

These threads always go pear shaped.

I remember at Christmas someone, think it was WWW, posted how she had spent £400 on her food shopping and there were a few "I feed a family of 6 for a month" etc posts. So what, the thread was about how she had gone a bit mad, not a brag imo.

Are people with money not allowed to post? Are people who are happy not allowed to post?
If you think your child is fabulous are you not allowed to post?

God forbid you offend anyone.

OO - agree, agree, agree. Completely.

I agree with what you're saying PB, particularly in regard to housing, but I also think that if you're in a position to lose track of your exact worth (not necessarily you personally, but anyone), then you are probably reasonably well-off and don't worry about money on a day to day basis.

Afterall, it's when you're struggling that you go in search of any extra money that might be realised - be it the coppers jar, money down the sofa, odd coins in the bottom of your bag, or, at the other end of the scale, endowments that can be surrendered, long lost premium bonds bought for your 13th birthday or shares you were given by a firm you worked for 20 years ago.

So ..... whilst MB may not have known she was a millionaire, I bet her estimation would still have been a large sum to most people.

Are people with money not allowed to post?

Yes, but it will go pear shaped if they mention a number, as nqc said and i think i have said as much before!

Are people who are happy not allowed to post?

Er, dunno, i steer well clear of the depression boards anyway...

If you think your child is fabulous are you not allowed to post?

Post away, but it is the sign of a grown up to realise that not everyone finds your child as cute/clever/beautiful as you do - common sense i'd have thought.

hope that has cleared that up

i do think people are very ready to jump in with lighted torches and sharpened pitchforks on mnet recently - i don't think this is one of these though.

Yes, there is room for 'this has gone well' threads. Just don't name a number!

Gah, I once posted, under another name, saying I had randomly given some money to a woman who was losing it, outside the bank.

And then I mistakenly said how much money I'd given.

And then it all went pear shaped.

I am sorry. This is ultimate bad taste... especially when followed up with claims of how people only have themselves to blame for being in debt etc etc. No, this thread was never going to go well - perhaps that was the point?

'These sorts of threads never go well. There are lots of people on MN who are in dire financial straits, and oddly enough aren't thrilled to hear this sort of thing. (Does anyone start a thread in Conception saying 'Oooh, i get pregnant really easily whenever I want, so I never visit this board'?)'

Can't remember who posted that but really... how ridiculous, it really doesn't even make a good argument. Moneybags wasn't posting on a 'debt' thread and in the way in which she wrote I'm sure would never do such a thing.
I'm with Sophable on this.

Really,if you are just going to add fuel to a fire at least cobble together a decent argument first.

I agree Catsmother - we are indeed in the fortunate position of not having to account for every penny.

I have been in debt in the past and have known what we in the bank to the last penny, but the fact that my dh gets twitchy when the current account goes below a level that many people would be happy with in a whole month (I'm conscious of not mentioning any figure, given the snesitivites that have been raised here) has meant that I'm not longer so precise, Personally, I'd rather we kept the money in the current account tighter, which would have the dual effect of making us watch our pennies better and ensuring that what we did have was earning better interest.

I am priceless Completely and absolutely.. and that's not to be confused with worthless!

OO what i was trying to say but said much better....

People with horrid taste in trainers are definitely encouraged to post .

Of course, I admitted to owning and wearing pink Croc's and stood alone in a corner with Jimjams .