After being separated for 4 years my wife asked me to move back in 6 months ago, which I was happy to do. When she asked me to move out I was broke because I got made redundant and we used our savings. Since being separated I have managed to get a new job that pays reasonably well and I have been able to save about £40,000 on top of paying about £1,000 per month rent (which I don't pay any more as I have moved back in to the joint home).
She doesn't work and I have been paying her maintenance as well as child maintenance but now the kids are at Uni.
She now says that I am being abusive about money. We have separate bank accounts.
I don't think I am.
When I moved back in we brought a new super mini in cash because her car was unreliable (using my savings).
I also transferred £12,000 to her account as spending money for the year and pay £1,100 per month for bills. We live in a small house and the bills are £600 per month. The mortgage is paid off.
I earn £3,100 per month and pay £600 a month for the kids at Uni (£300 each).
I save £500 for emergencies.
I give my wife £1,100 for bills of £600
That leaves me with £900 and I pay £300 per month for my car and another £100 for insurance and maintenance, leaving £500 and I have to spend some of that looking smart for work.
I am away 3 weeks a month with work so we tend to do our own food shopping.
I get a bonus once a year which should be good enough to give her another £12,000 next year.
She says that she doesn't get enough to live on and wants more and because I control her money she thinks that counts as unreasonable behavior. I think that I have been generous but am willing to take advice.
(The figures have been rounded but are right to about £25 each.)