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Original poster

AIBU to think my son should not be guarantor for girlfriend's mum's rent?

71 replies

MummaPear · 18/04/2016 20:17

Feel bad but son is being pressured into being a guarantor for his girlfriend and mum who want to move. They've never had arrears as far as we know but I think it is a serious undertaking and not just a piece of paper.
I'm worried that if the mum suddenly couldn't work they may default and would then affect my son. He is trying to save so he can get his own place sometime.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 24/04/2016 15:48

PS. Watch for that old 'fall back' position, Mumma. They want to move rather than being forced to, as I understand it, so there's every chance that it's for financial reasons - and that his (weeping) girlfriend might suggest some 'short term' financial help - for her Mum of course - from his savings. Which offer he might grab if he's feeling real bad.

Maybe I'm too cynical though.

CotswoldStrife · 24/04/2016 15:51

No, you can't get out of it after you've signed it. Do not let him sign!

Lweji · 24/04/2016 15:55

He should not sign and should ditch the gf as well. It sounds dodgy. And what landlord accepts a 22 year old living with parents as guarantor?
They could pay a bit extra for the landlord to get let insurance or an extra month's rent. I'd rather lend give them that money than sign as guarantor.

cozietoesie · 24/04/2016 15:57

It sounds as if he's being manoeuvred doesn't it?

Fluffycloudland77 · 24/04/2016 15:59

Years ago I worked with two girls. One was being beaten by her boyfriend and the other girl went gaurantor for her so she could have a flat away from him.

She wasn't there for very long before she went back to him (we suspected he wanted her pg so he could stay in the country).

The other girls meagre shop assistant wages got spent on the rent for the empty flat.

OliviaStabler · 24/04/2016 16:00

YANBU. He should not do it.

Piemernator · 24/04/2016 16:00

Notonly should he not be a guarantor he should finish with the GF , manipulation by crying.

hejsvejs · 24/04/2016 16:07

I agreed to be a guarantor for someone as I was convicted they wouldn't actually let me be one as I'm not a homeowner!

They did the credit checks on me and I was, to my surprise, approved.

Before I signed it I went in to he letting agent to make sure I would only be signing up for the initial tenancy agreement of 12 months, but was told that wasn't possibly and if the tenant didn't leave he property then I'd still be the guarantor.

So effectively, if he'd still be in the property in ten years time is still be the guarantor then. There is NO way of getting out of it.

Tell your son that if he sons this he might still be liable for his woman's rent in 10 or 20 years time.

(And you don't need to have a bad credit record to need a guarantor, all letting agents in my area only let you rent without a guarantor of you earn more than £30k.)

cozietoesie · 24/04/2016 16:07

Oh I reckon that he knows that. He doesn't want to do it, basically - just looking for a way out of the situation.

Ireallydontseewhy · 24/04/2016 16:15

Hejsvejs, £30k to not need a guarantor! that must make life very difficult for people trying to rent privately - what happens if you just can't get a guarantor? Which i would have thought would be quite common. Is it £30k per 'household' or for each individual in the group that are renting?
Op, i agree with everyone else - i would extremely strongly advise a dc of mine to say 'no'. (Though i am shocked that there is yet another difficulty for private renters. )

Haffdonga · 24/04/2016 16:27

I'm guarantor for my ds. It's for as long as he's in the property. You can't just change your mind later on.

If your ds hasn't committed to a lifelong relationship with his gf yet, why on earth would he commit to this type of relationship with her mother ?

( And doesn't it seem dodgy that the only person this woman can ask is her daughtr's bf? Surely she has longer term family or friends to ask. or do none of them trust her? )

listsandbudgets · 26/04/2016 21:11

No no no.

I made the mistake of agreeing to being gaurantor for a very long standing friend. He stopped paying his rent and it ended up costing me £600 THEN £1500 in legal fees and more outstanding rent when his landlord evicted him. Luckily I had savings but I've got rather less of them now.

I thought i could trust him. Needless to say I've never seen a penny back and hes no longer my friend.

Its a binding contract, there's no getting out of it and I'd never agree to do it again unless for my own children.

Just tell him to say NO he does not feel financially secure enough to offer them the security a guaruntor needs to be able to offer.

listsandbudgets · 26/04/2016 21:15

Oh and that was after he'd been in the property for 6 years so it is a long term committment

RaspberryOverload · 27/04/2016 19:52

I do agree with cozietoesie that if your DS doesn't agree (and let's hope he doesn't) that there could well be a Plan B to make a play for some of your DS's savings by guilting him.

I think your DS needs to end this relationship as he's clearly being manipulated, and it won't get any better.

UpsiLondoes · 30/04/2016 08:23

No they didn't pass a credit check. You can google independent companies that provide this service. A landlord sends in all the info, they run the credit checks,verify employment and then give you a score. Under a certain number, they advise high risk and "do not rent without a guarantor" then there is a another medium risk band range that says "highly recommend a guarantor" and finally the top marks are "clean credit, rent away"

They probably have a medium risk band where the landlord prefers a guarantor. A guarantor then has to pass a credit check too and signs that he is financially liable for the duration of the lease. A short term lease becomes a rolling one automatically and I don't know what the law says about a guarantors responsibility.

But a landlord would most likely reject your son as guarantor if he's young and doesn't rent/own himself.

3littlefrogs · 30/04/2016 08:27

NO
They shouldn't even be asking him.
The fact that they are speaks volumes about them.
He needs to walk away. Fast.

EllaHen · 30/04/2016 08:49

If the gf pays her Mum £300 per month then what will happen when she herself wants to move out? Presumably she does see this in her future?

If the Mum struggles now then making rent may be nigh on impossible without her daughter.

Goingtobeawesome · 30/04/2016 08:53

Definitely should not do it. The mother should be shamed of herself for trying to get a young adult to pay for her choices and the girlfriend sounds a spoilt immature madam.

FishWithABicycle · 30/04/2016 08:55

Terrible idea! Only be a guarantor for anyone if you (a) could afford to and (b) love them enough to pay their full rent for the duration of their contract. No 22yo lad is an appropriate guarantor for his girlfriend's mum. As a pp has said he probably wouldn't qualify anyway as he's not a homeowner and probably not much better credit score than this woman anyway (you get a good score by having a loan and paying it all back in time and a 22yo probably hasn't had time to do that)

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 30/04/2016 09:02

He's a 22 year old non homeowner who lives at home he can't be a guarantor

listsandbudgets · 30/04/2016 09:09

OP has there been any movement on this? I really hope that you've managed to persaude your son that this is a really bad idea.

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