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Original poster

AIBU to think my son should not be guarantor for girlfriend's mum's rent?

71 replies

MummaPear · 18/04/2016 20:17

Feel bad but son is being pressured into being a guarantor for his girlfriend and mum who want to move. They've never had arrears as far as we know but I think it is a serious undertaking and not just a piece of paper.
I'm worried that if the mum suddenly couldn't work they may default and would then affect my son. He is trying to save so he can get his own place sometime.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/04/2016 20:38

And face it, OP, you wouldn't know if they had arrears. It's not the sort of thing they'd tell you, especially if they want your son to be a guarantor.

SewSlapdash · 18/04/2016 20:40

Never mind the bailiffs he could be made bankrupt if this goes sour. He should in no account get involved.

ImperialBlether · 18/04/2016 20:40

So why are they going for that landlord and not another who doesn't ask for a guarantor? It's not rocket science!

OP's son - you are too young to be even thinking of guaranteeing someone else's rent. You need to save up your money and have a great time being 22 - you don't need the pressure of wondering whether your girlfriend's mother has paid her rent each month. Oh and if you were my son I'd suggest you look around for a different girlfriend - one who knows why you shouldn't be asked to do this.

Tiggeryoubastard · 18/04/2016 20:41

Then they need to find another landlord that will be fine with the passed credit checks. The most worrying is the emotional manipulation, though.

ImperialBlether · 18/04/2016 20:42

Another thing to consider is this: what would happen if the mum or daughter lost her job? If it took a couple of months to find a new one (and that would be lucky) then no rent could be paid during that time. Would you be happy paying it instead?

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 18/04/2016 20:42

YANBU
Do not allow him to do this under any circumstances.

Tiggeryoubastard · 18/04/2016 20:45

Sadly it's not about 'allowing' a 22 year old to do anything. But as a parent of a 22 year old (and an older ang younger) male I would be telling him quite bluntly my thoughts. Then giving facts to back it up, whilst trying to be supportive.

Tiggeryoubastard · 18/04/2016 20:46

And probably going off on one re the emotional blackmail Blush

Original poster
MummaPear · 18/04/2016 20:56

Spot on tiggery re yr last post! I won't be able to stop myself I fear Angry

OP posts:
Dungandbother · 18/04/2016 20:58

Don't forget to praise his warm heart after

Reminds me of my DS who is 5 and who genuinely offers to pay for everything! Little concept of the real value of money.... But boy is he loving.

bloodyteenagers · 18/04/2016 21:00

So a landlord only rents to people that despite having references and great credit, always wants a guarantor?
That's a terrible business model.

tooyoungtobeagrandma · 18/04/2016 21:08

I was guarantor for my step daughter for a couple of years until she had built up a payment record. There was only one hiccup when, unknown to me or her, a payment to her account didn't go through in time and her rent payment failed. Instantly, I got a text saying if she hadn't paid within the next two days, they would be going to my bank account for it. That's how fast the system can move.

It is a very serious commitment for a young man and his girlfriend's mum should not be asking him to do it.

Diamogs · 18/04/2016 21:09

There is no get out clause as a guarantor, he is not giving them a reference, he is signing that he will pay the rent if they don't, and pay for any damages if they don't.

However IME landlords usually want a home-owning guarantor which is hopefully his get-out clause.

bloodyteenagers · 18/04/2016 21:16

And surely they will have family/friends who have known them a lot longer.
That's more telling of their financial situation when emotional blackmail is being chucked into the equation of someone a lot newer.

HappyAsASandboy · 18/04/2016 21:22

He absolutely shouldn't be acting as a guarantor for anyone, and I agree you should warn forbid him.

If he does end up guilted in to agreeing, there is a good chance he'll not be accepted anyway. As a guarantor you generally have to prove you are financially capable of housing yourself and meeting the cost of the place you are guaranteeing. Unless he's the next Richard Branson, I think it's unlikely he'd be assessed as being able to find two houses?

HermioneWeasley · 18/04/2016 21:30

He should dump her. She's emotionally blackmailing him into taking on an open ended financial commitment to her mother. WTAF?! She doesn't like or respect him - that's not how you treat people.

Fluffycloudland77 · 24/04/2016 11:42

I hope he said no. I think their story is bollocks.

You can't get out of it either.

cozietoesie · 24/04/2016 14:21

It made my eyebrows rise also. Wink

BigHairySpider · 24/04/2016 14:36

When did they start pressuring him to be guarantor? They must have had ample time to find someone else and it seems they are pressuring him as they've been unable to find anyone who wants to be a guarantor for them . What does that tell you?

Pinkheart5915 · 24/04/2016 14:39

He's 22 there is no way I would of been of done it.
If his relationship was to end it could all get very difficult if the gf mum didn't pay her rent.

DelphiniumBlue · 24/04/2016 14:44

Does he understand that guaranteeing means he could be asked to pay all the rent, every month till the end of the contract? Does he evenhavr enough salary to do this? If his girlfriend only pays 300 pet month for rent AND keep, how can she expect that he could afford to foot the whole bill, plus his own rent/ keep.
The answer is no, sorry can't afford it, and don't want that sort of responsibility for girlfriend and her family at that age.
The fact that gf and her mother would even consider asking a boy of that age to take on that sort of commitment waves red flags.

cozietoesie · 24/04/2016 15:05

It would likely - in effect - rock back on the OP in practice, Delphinium. Not so nice.

exWifebeginsat40 · 24/04/2016 15:18

my brother-in-law is guarantor on my rent. the criteria were that I needed someone in employment earning over £14k pa, and they must be a home owner.

it was very stressful as I had to change from my XH when the divorce went through. my BIL worked out the year's rent he may be liable for if I default, and is very clear that he will review after the first year which is in July.

does your son meet the criteria? if not then it's an easy no...

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 24/04/2016 15:22

I have been in a situation where I have needed a guarantor even though I passed all credit checks and didn't have any arrears. It was all to do with my income being too low. Often they want 4 X your rent. So its not always because you're bad with money.

But there is no way I would ask my daughters boyfriend (when she's older, she's currently 6!). My sister did it for me.

cozietoesie · 24/04/2016 15:40

I can imagine the conversation now. One or both of them would be thinking/articulating 'Oh, he lives at home so he's got plenty of savings - and besides, his parents would always see him/us right.'

Dreadful.