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Original poster

My boyfriends rents a flat and he wants me to pay higher percentage of a rent than he does

63 replies

wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 16:02

I and my partner have been discussing moving in together. He does not own the place and a tenancy agreement is on his name at present.This a 2 bed flat and he currently rents one bedroom to a guy.

We have been thinking of moving in together from December and a new tenancy agreement on our joint names is waiting for us to sign. I was under impression that we would split the rent and bills 50/50 until he recently told me that he wants me to pay the same money as his current flatmate pays him. I got very upset as I would end up paying £130 per month more than him for the flat.

He said to me that he has been living in this flat for many years and that he was the one that has found the flat and in his mind the flat is his. The rent is lower than the market rent and that if I would be paying him the same as his current flatmate I would still be paying less than I paying at the moment where I live, which it true. If I were to pay the same what his flatmate does I would end up paying £30 less per month to what I pay currently.

However, it does really hurt me that he does not want to split everything 50/50 as I feel he wants to make a money on me.

Please help. What should I do?

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 23/09/2015 20:40

I think if he really loved you he'd want to share his good fortune, the low rent, with you. No justifications or explanations should be required.

Original poster

wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 22:06

The 'funny' update is that now he has started turning everything upside down. He said to me that it's me who wants to profit on him as if I would move in I would pay lower rent to what I'm paying now and hence I could repay my postgraduate student loan much quicker. I'm speechless....

OP posts:

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 22:10

The manipulative arse! He wants a flatshare, 50/50, but where he pays less than half, despite earning more, and you are the greedy one in the situation? Wow.

I know this is awful and heartbreaking, and I'm so sorry. But a lot of women post on MN because this sort of thing is only coming out in a form that can't be missed after they have had children with someone like this. You at least have no real ties at all, yet. You can walk away with relative ease (not that it is ever easy, when let down by someone you love and saw a future with, I know).

beaucoupdemojo · 23/09/2015 22:10

He is just awful. Thank god you found out now, before you gave up your home to move in with him.

Have you dropped him from a great height yet?

Toffeelatteplease · 23/09/2015 22:12

Run! Run like the wind!

tribpot · 23/09/2015 22:14

There's no point getting into a discussion with him about who gains and loses - individual line items will change (e.g. grocery bill or fuel if you're spending less on travelling to see each other). It's the principle of the thing. He wants you to move into his flat on his terms, paying an unequal share of the costs of what is meant to be a shared household - as an indication of the way the relationship will develop it's piss poor and you're voting no.

By the way, if you had a child from a previous relationship you can bet your arse that wouldn't be a mitigating factor in how expenses should be shared, you would told flat out: your child, your cost centre.

lottiegarbanzo · 23/09/2015 22:23

Right, he really knows how to woo a girl...

Original poster

wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 22:30

Sleeponeday no no ! He doesn't want to share 50/50. He wants me to pay more than 50% of the rent and bills which still would be a bit less to what I'm paying for my flat at the moment. I wanted to share 50/50 of the rent and bills as I think otherwise he's profiting on me and it doesn't matter how much I pay now for my own flat at the moment. It's a principle! This is how much if costs here let's share 50/50! Anyways at the moment Im not moving anywhere and he can go and find someone else stupid enough to support him. He has lost so much in my eyes that I don't think I can be with a man like that which is heartbreaking. I would probably always double think whether he uses me for something if I will stay with him which would drain me :-( at the moment I feel like he wants to use me and manipulate me. If anything he should be happy for me of a possibility to repay a student loan earlier as it would benefit our family in the future if we had one... Anyways ... Hearbreaking...

OP posts:

Muckogy · 23/09/2015 22:39

i would be relieved, if i were you, that you now know what he's like before you move in with him.
seriously, he's not worth your time.
mean men are the worst. and meanness is a disease, which worsens with age.

rollonthesummer · 23/09/2015 22:44

Don't do it and tell him why! Time to find a new man.

BackInTheRealWorld · 23/09/2015 22:48

A lucky escape, just be very relieved he showed his true colours before you moved in.
Sorry though, it's shit for you.

IguanaTail · 23/09/2015 22:52

What an arse he is. Please tell us this is the end.

FeckTheMagicDragon · 23/09/2015 23:04

So he wants someone to fuck, share the housework and cooking ( will he be done big more of that than you or vice versa) and replace his former flat mate that he's already ripping off. Does he actively parent his child or just pay CSA minimum?

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