Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

My boyfriends rents a flat and he wants me to pay higher percentage of a rent than he does

63 replies

wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 16:02

Hi

I and my partner have been discussing moving in together. He does not own the place and a tenancy agreement is on his name at present.This a 2 bed flat and he currently rents one bedroom to a guy.

We have been thinking of moving in together from December and a new tenancy agreement on our joint names is waiting for us to sign. I was under impression that we would split the rent and bills 50/50 until he recently told me that he wants me to pay the same money as his current flatmate pays him. I got very upset as I would end up paying £130 per month more than him for the flat.

He said to me that he has been living in this flat for many years and that he was the one that has found the flat and in his mind the flat is his. The rent is lower than the market rent and that if I would be paying him the same as his current flatmate I would still be paying less than I paying at the moment where I live, which it true. If I were to pay the same what his flatmate does I would end up paying £30 less per month to what I pay currently.

However, it does really hurt me that he does not want to split everything 50/50 as I feel he wants to make a money on me.

Please help. What should I do?

OP posts:
Badders123 · 23/09/2015 16:46

When someone tells you who they really are....listen.

Want2bSupermum · 23/09/2015 16:47

He isn't treating you with respect. Walk away and find someone who does.

Muckogy · 23/09/2015 17:00

no. no way.
don't move in with him.
in fact - now is the time to dump his greedy ass.
he has shown you what he really is. believe him and find someone who isn't a profiteer.

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 17:03

Ask him where your private room is. That's what the tenant has, right?

Cheeky sod. Kind of him, really, to show you what sort of man he is, before you get in any further.

OddBoots · 23/09/2015 17:11

I am glad you have decided not to move in, he does not sound like a person ready to share their life yet.

Caprinihahahaha · 23/09/2015 17:16

Absolutely do not have a family with him.
Really really really - no.

He does not see you as a partner. This would be a deal breaker for me.

FishWithABicycle · 23/09/2015 17:17

I think you are right op, stick where you are and don't move in with someone who thinks a girlfriend is a suitable person to make a profit out of. If you move in with anyone it should be on equal terms.

Original poster
wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 17:30

This is what I think. It should be his problem only that he needs to support his child and not mine although his child is a really lovely girl.

Regarding the child, apparently he was not in a relationship with the mother. It was something casual as far as I know

I though that it would be very exciting time to move in together and we were already making plans how we are going to decorate the flat, refresh it etc. The landlord also agreed to do some work in the flat so all was going well. It was just a matter of me giving notice to my landlord and him giving a notice to his current subtenant:(

The landlord gave him permission to sublet and the guy rents a room only at the moment. He has no idea how much rent is on the tenancy agreement for the whole flat. But as the new tenancy agreement is ready to sign for both of us I know how much is the monthly rent and I know how much are the bills as he did mention that. Hence, I found out that that the guy who currently rents the room pays much more bigger proportion overall of the rent and bills together.

But anyways as you said we should have a couple relationship no tenant-subtenant relationship, which is pissing me off.

OP posts:
Mimigolightly · 23/09/2015 17:32

One argument would be that you'll be sharing a bedroom with him while his current flat mate has a separate room.

However, this is a huge red flag and you'd be better off staying where you are and finding a new man.

Original poster
wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 17:38

Yes, unfortunately a huge red flag. I think I'm heartbroken :(

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 23/09/2015 17:39

I'd dump him, I don't see how this relationship can go anywhere.

BetaTest · 23/09/2015 17:42

Dump him!

I am a bloke and if I was subletting from him and found out I was paying more then 50% of the rent I would be out of there pronto as well.

tribpot · 23/09/2015 17:42

No wonder he can't find anywhere else as cheap to rent - his tenant has been subsidising him this whole time. Best this continues until the tenant wises up and buggers off himself.

Original poster
wiktoriat · 23/09/2015 17:43

I guess I will have a huge glass of Wine this evening and rethink everything about my relationship :D

Thank you all for your support Flowers

OP posts:
BlahBlahUsername · 23/09/2015 17:52

Ask him which room you get for your own personal use for this extra money.

Or better still, don't ask him anything ever again, because he sounds like a miserly sod who should be getting on with fulfilling his destiny of being forever alone.

LineyReborn · 23/09/2015 17:57

Oh god dump him. He'll fuck up your life.

spanisharmada · 23/09/2015 17:58

The only way I could understand was if he was going to pay the rest of the bills?

spanisharmada · 23/09/2015 17:59

But even so that wouldn't help with the 'it's my place really' attitude

LumelaMme · 23/09/2015 18:04

He sounds a right jewel.
I'd head for the hills.
Sorry, OP.

merrymouse · 23/09/2015 18:06

1)If there are 2 bedrooms and the other tenant pays more rent than your boyfriend, doesn't that mean he is paying more than half the rent?

  1. if you pay the same as the other tenant isn't your boyfriend then making a profit?

  2. why would you pay the same as the other tenant when you are sharing a room?

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 18:33

Wait, he wants you to sign a shared tenancy where you have to pay more?

A lodger can give notice and walk any time they want. The costs are partly higher because the responsibility is so much lower. That's reasonable. This is appalling, greedy and entitled.

If he sees it as "his" and you are a couple, and you earn less... then you should pay less, no?! Because somehow, I don't think he'd see it as fair if you split and you said, "I paid most of it - I want to stay, buh-bye then!" Do you?

Also interesting that you are a couple when he wants you to sub his child and lifestyle, but not a couple when it comes to being equally responsible for paying for a shared home. Heads he wins, tails you lose, in fact.

I'm so very sorry, OP. But yes, very lucky you found him out now. Sounds as if it is only the new tenancy agreement needing signing that caught him out, and this could have been a lot worse down the line.

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 18:35

He does not see you as a partner. This would be a deal breaker for me.

He doesn't see her as a partner at all, does he? Until the child support is due - then she's a wife and has a responsibility to sub his child, it seems!

Zampa · 23/09/2015 19:24

Oh Wik I'm really sorry for you. I hope that you can work something out which makes you happy, even if it means striking out on your own. Good luck!

eddielizzard · 23/09/2015 19:33

always trust your gut instinct. no, you don't want to subsidise him. why should you? it's not on, and it's an indication of the way he means to go on. he's showing you who he is, you are wise to take note.

AyeAmarok · 23/09/2015 19:35

He's horrible!

His child is good responsibility.

OP definitely don't move in with him, and I'm sorry, but I think he needs dumped.

What an Arsehole.

Swipe left for the next trending thread