I am about to live off £100 per week

[FlatBrokeForTheFirstTime]

Ok here goes. Please don't judge. I will skim over my background. Divorced and now I am dealing with a lifestyle change like no other. My sons are at Eton.

I have a little house in Wiltshire with a mortgage of £50k. I have a tiny flat in London that I rent out to make some income. I have a crap job and my pay is £30k. What none of my friends know is that I rent a bedsit off a guy near Paddington for £200 p week. After all of my outgoings I have £100 a week to live off.
Out of this I have to buy food, petrol, anything the boys want (so hence I am looking forward to them going back to school so that I don't have to buy them food too) Sounds bad, but that is the evil truth.
I don't expect pity, but I have enough clothes etc from my married life to get by, and they are still in date.
HOW on earth can I do this? Do I take out £100 in cash each week and put that credit card aside, out of my purse, for absolute emergencies? My maintenance from my ex has stopped. I don't get child maintenance as he lives overseas. He does give the boys pocket money and is generous to them.

I don't have a boyfriend. I am just on my own, trying to make ends meet. Apart from my mortgage have no other debts.
My biggest fear is never being able to afford another foreign holiday with my children.
How can I get out of this and improve my situation? What do I eat to make sure I am living within my budget? I think it must be about £60 after petrol.

Green, I think you ruined what would have been a fabulous and inspiring post with your last sentence.

£30000 isn't a shit salary but for one woman and two sons, in London, it's not a lot.

I wish you well OP.

OP, I get it. At least I think I do.

It must be very, very hard coming from a life-style where fees at Eton are affordable to trying to manage on 30k on your own. Learning how to do stuff alone when you've never done them before must be very, very hard indeed.

But you do have options. I do understand that the house in Wilts is where the boys come home to every third weekend as that's the only property big enough for all of you. Plus the car is a necessity to get the boys back and forth. And London is where you work. Salaries in Wilts would probably be half that even if you could find something.

But you do have options. In your place I would consider selling the London property and using the equity to pay down some or all of your 50k mortgage. That could reduce your total out-goings by quite a sum. But I acknowledge that you'd still have the 200 a week in rent to find for the bed-sit which the income from flat in London is currently funding.

If you had neither the flat in London, the house in Wilts or the bedsit would you be have enough to rent a property big enough for you and the boys for a few years until they're independent?

Have you applied for child benefit? That's another ?35 a week.

Do you keep a spending-diary? Get 25% single-occupancy discount on the house in Wilts? Been across to the moneysavingexpert for tips on how to reduce your out-goings/get the best deals for the things you must pay for?

I think greencottage has said it all really.

I'd think about getting a more economical car even if not much cash to be realised at least you'll spend less on fuel / tax.

It is doable but yes I huge change for you. I think you actually need to learn to live on less when it's just you - divide up your disposable income over the number of weeks it is just for you and the number of weeks it is to feed all 3 of you otherwise every holiday you are going to be financially crippled and tempted to get into debt.

Money saving expert is amazing for help on how to seriously budget/manage on very little.

Yes take out 70 cash per week for food/treats/petrol and when it's gone that is it. Means in the school holidays you'll have over £100 per week though.

Umm...state school and decide where you are going to live! and that you think such a lifestyle is a 'struggle'.

I get it :) My circs are totally different from yours, Flat, but I'm one of those who had a precipitous fall due to illness and am now on £100 a week ESA. I do resent it, and get frustrated when friends & family really don't get that I now live on less than we used to spend per head on an evening out (as they still do). It's shit, but it's certainly do-able.

I smoke. This costs about the equivalent of your car, I'd guess. You can only afford one vice - but you can afford one! I switched to roll-ups and I think you have to look at switching to the cheapest-running vehicle you can.

My biggest & most important piece of advice is shop at Aldi/Lidl. If the Aldi in my town shut, my quality of life would fall by 40% (I've worked it out!) Healthy, varied, interesting diet perfectly possible.

Colour your own hair, do your own maintenance, and cut your hair yourself if you've the confidence or find a friend who can. In my disappointing experience, cheap haircuts are worse than DIY!

You need to tell your sons the full facts. You've nothing to be ashamed of, and you are their mother :) There's quite a bit of good advice on your thread already; do think laterally. Good luck!

Btw, my £100 has to include bills. Phone, broadband, gas, electricity, water & council tax (reduced) comes to £140 a month. There's your holiday money.

Look at the jobs in Wiltshire. Work out what you'd take home, then add on the £800 that you're spending on rent in Paddington. Surely you'd be better off?

In any case, your salary is £30,000 pa and your mortgage is what - about £500? How does that mean you only have £400 per month for food and petrol? Are the bills on your house really £800 or so per month?

Will your ex husband take the boys on holiday? Will he pay for their clothes? He's not actually paying anything is he, if the house money is paying for their fees - or rather you are both paying.

I think the OP has described quite well how much of a struggle it is for her. Having 100 quid a week for petrol and food isn't a huge amount when you've become used to not having to budget.

OP you asked what you should do: withdraw 100 a week and lock up the credit-cards for emergencies? The trouble is, that if you do this you'd have nothing to pay the credit-cards off with when the time comes. I think the credit-cards need to be cut up and waved "bye-bye" to for the time being. As RandomMess said: "Yes take out 70 cash per week for food/treats/petrol and when it's gone that is it. Means in the school holidays you'll have over ?100 per week though" I think that is where you are at.

Plus, I suggest you be absolutely candid with your boys about what your financial situation is. If their father is generous they might be prepared to part with some of their allowance during the school holidays to help you. Also be candid with the school.

I think greens last sentence was very apt.

I mean this in a positive way but you are actually in a brilliant position coming out of this marriage. Congratulations for going out on your own and managing to keep your sons at school in stable environment and for holding on to two propertys. This is great, you also have a well paid job despite what it may seem like compared to your previous lifestyle.

Now all it's going to take is a little tweaking to get used to living within your means.

As previous posters suggested I would definitely get on the ball re. tax credits, child benefit etc. and an income from your Wiltshire home with air bnb or something similar until you can find a new job in Wiltshire and stop renting bedsit. I think you could actually hold on to both properties as the London flat will subsidise any loss of income from new job. And there's no reason why you can't live on £100 pw til then. My husband and I after all bills inc. food and petrol have £30 each to spend which I gather is about the amount you would have left from your £100. It is so doable! We still enjoy eating out, going to cinema, saving to buy clothes every so often or for household items, haircuts, hobbies. We have no children so that is the difference but if yours are not with you during term-time you could put aside a little bit of your grocery money each week (you could get a weeks shopping for a tenner if you really had to by buying food on offer and own brands) to cover the extra food expense during holidays.

Yes they should be buying their own stuff not hassling you.
They can get summer jobs if they want money that badly.
Get rid of credit card.
Give yourself an allowance for food and set aside money for petrol at the start of each week.
The rest is what you have to spend it's up to you if you want to treat dc or put a bit aside, or spend it all on yourself.
There are cheaper shops than h & m, like Primark, peacocks, George.
Get on freecycle.
Start carbooting things you don't need.
Be strict with your budget.
Be 100% honest with your dc there is absolutely nothing wrong with living on a budget .

Good luck, keep us updated!

I still don't understand what Eton has got to do with anything.

Surely the relevant points are that the boys are away boarding (so this £100pw applies to only one person most of the time) and op needs a certain size of property so they can't all live in the London flat or bedsit.

Op, is there a reason you can't live somewhere closer to London and Eton (say Thames Valley) in just one property? Sell the cottage and the London flat and buy somewhere that means you don't need to rent a London bedsit? And commute into London on the train like everyone else ?

My best friend could have written this, apart from she has DD's. You sound dreadfully panicked and in a "black and white, it's one extreme or the other" kind of situation.

She had her "drop" about a year ago, she is very happy now, here is what she did:

• Pulled the girls out of their very prestigious boarding school and put them in a day private school nearby, saving 2-3k p/daughter p/term, her and her ex agreed on that and that was more manageable than keeping them on a knife edge waiting to see if they would lose their school. (The money saved on fees she spread out to make a more comfy life at home). They agreed she could keep the difference in the fees and that was her "maintenance".

• She sold her place and bought a 3 bed new build, about 30-40 mins outside of London whilst maintaining her other two properties and renting them out (one was a small studio and one a house in the country)

• This is going to sound a bit brutal, but she got real. You sound like you've panicked yourself out of perspective here. She works in the fashion industry and she wears high street, Primark etc, all fine, she copes. She shops in Lidl and every time I go down there shes got a good spread in.

• She sold everything she could, designer handbags etc

• Her girls got holiday jobs and they have their own cash, this whole experience has actually been really good for them to be honest. I have your previous lifestyle, my kids work in the hols too, it won't hurt them.

It's going to be ok, I would really recommend seeing if you do a deal with your ex where you move the boys to a day private and you can keep the difference in fees, it's worked well for my friend. (I don't know if I really understand who is paying the fees in your situation to be honest, could you explaiin again?). I know it's Eton and all that but they'll be fine, Eton to state might be a bit much for them, but Eton to day private will be fine.

£100 a week to feed yourself and pay for things like hair etc.

How much is your hair? Not where you used to go, just a good salon.

The rest you can do yourself, nails, legs etc. work it out and aim to save £20 a week maybe.

You already have clothes and shoes etc.

You could make soup and freeze it portioned. Only drink tap water at home.

Tell your ex he can't use your car. Is he insured to drive it? If he is get him off as its cheaper. What if he crashed it? Tell him why. He can rent one. And don't invite him to lunch! If you do make sure it's toast and water.

watch your tax bill as well. You will have to declare income on rented properties. You can do it yourself if you take time and read the HMRC site properly. You might want to look at the rent and mortgage on that property in London. The rent you are paying to someone else is the same as the rent you are paying now. Wouldn't it be better to live there and get a nice flatmate? That would be extra money.

Hi OP, I would definitely (if you haven't already) do the money makeover or whatever it's called on the Money Saving Expert website - make sure you've cut all your utility spending down to the bare minimum or you can in the future.

I think the advice to let out your Wiltshire house when it's not in use (on Air B&B or something) is also really good. You could try and save this money separately to fund the school holidays - or even a holiday which you would like - if you could rent out your house for 7 nights a month at £50 per night (which would be quite a bargain I'd have thought) then that would be £4200 per year!

I think I've read you spend £30 per week on petrol, so that leaves you with £70 for food, clothes, gifts etc. is that right? For the weeks when you're on your own I would set a low food budget and try and save the difference for when you're feeding the boys and gifts etc. Think of some really cheap meals and have them 4 nights a week, jacket potato with tuna/beans/cheese/sweetcorn is super cheap, as is pasta.

Don't dismiss tiny changes - it's hard to find 10 ways to save £100, but it's quite easy to find 100 ways to save £10 over a year if you are used to spending lots. For instance - fabric conditioner, not remotely necessary, new clothes/make up etc. - rarely necessary. Using free samples from www.latestfreestuff.co.uk/ could easily save £50 per year just by eeking out other supplies. Use comparison sites and quidco when you buy insurances etc.

I think all the properties need to be rolled into one too. Depends how much equity the OP has in the London flat and the house in Wiltshire for it to work.

It's all relative isn't it. Compared to some on benefits and with absolutely nothing behind them the OP is very well off. Compared to many friends her situation now is one of dire straits. Realistically and objectively OP, it will be alright, you aren't in too bad a place.

I think you need to manage the resources you have more effectively. Do you have to rent an £800 bed sit? Could you perhaps move out a teeny bit and rent a room for about half that? I know someone not dissimilar to you who stayed with the mother of an elderly friend for a peppercorn rent to keep an eye on the elderly lady. Could something like that be made to work?

Alternatively, could you sell the flat and Wiltshire house and buy a bigger, three bed flat in London, albeit with a mortgage but take Monday/Friday lodgers so it's available for your boys at weekends. Perhaps do a summer let when they are on holiday and take yourselves off to a rented cottage in an unfashionable holiday destination in the UK in the summer break?

I agree £30k in London for someone from a professional background isn't that high a salary but can you build on this and get some professional qualifications/specialist training in the short term so you can increase your income.

I can sympathise. My DC lead an independent school life and although neither they nor we are particularly materialistic I can imagine there are expectations that make life seem normal even if it's just a casual Starbucks, tickets for a concert, funding Reading Festival, etc.

I think greencottage's advice, from someone who has actually been there, is invaluable.

UB got a hard time for speaking sense?

OP, I am sorry you feel things a such a struggle right now, but you will come through this.
You have far more resources (£ and otherwise) than you seem to realise?

Chin up, you can do this!

Could you convert the living room into a bedroom for you, let the boys have the other room and live in London where you work. Sell the Wiltshire house or rent it out. If it's a 3 bed most likely you can rent it out for a £1000 pm plus you'd be saving 200 on the bedsit and have slightly more spare money. I wouldn't sell any nice bags or shoes like others suggested as you'll need them for work in London most likely.

Family of 4 living on 25k a year!

OP look at the properties do you honestly need 3? Either make the move to London or outskirts. Sell the Wiltshire/London flat and use the income generated from that to purchase a suitable property for you all.

Be honest with your sons. They'll appreciate your honesty and if they want the extras they either use their pocket money or ask their dad for them.

Make a menu plan and purchase a girl called jacks recipe book. You need to teach yourself how to cook and enjoy budgeting.

Public transport is a something you will have to suck up if it proves to be more money sense than a car.

Stop buying clothes in h&m it ain't cheap at all. Set yourself a budget on this as well.

You need to sit down give yourself a good telling off and get researching and organised.

purchase a girl called jacks recipe book

I am honestly sick of hearing this! Her recipes provide tiny portions, are mostly naive or boring, and mostly vegan. Fine if you're Jack Monroe or a student - but she herself said she's underweight and, before getting famous, was suffering medical malnutrition.

I don't get the impression OP can't cook or needs to know 20 things to do with a can of baked beans and a grated potato.

Are you coming back OP? I hope you haven't been scared off bu negative posters. The rest of us are rooting for you! Xox

garrick have you actually used her book? Because we eat quite well on it! And there's 3 chapters devoted to the main meat groups!

Find it laughable that you point out a grated potato when it's no where in the book either.

I offered advice which works for us as a family no need to rip it shreds when it doesn't apply to you

The cookbook, is a great idea and I am very very grateful for the thought.
I used to cook for dinner parties of 20-30. So I am ok with how to cut the costs and make a meal, I just need to tailor my cloth these days.

No I am here and reading through the great suggestions.

I was watching a film with the boys and having dinner with them. Bulking them up on home made chips and serving them less steak than we would have had.

I have a lot to think about, and merging the properties seems to be the common theme, and the one that makes most sense, as does moving closer to Windsor. I cannot give up my car though. Honestly public transport when you really need it is a bugger, those cricket matches that never end and missing the last train, those schools with cricket matches that are in the middle of nowhere...... I need a car. It is my last bastion of independence. I need the model I have as I have 2 boys with LOADS of kit, and it all fits. Its an old banger nothing flash anyhow!

I want to make this work. I don't want to get into debt. I just want to continue as I am and make the boys good little all rounders! Balanced, is my end goal. Just over a week left with them, so trying to make the most of it all. Wish me luck! and thank you all for your responses, positive and negative all gratefully received, and I wish you all luck too. xx

To be fair, spreek, I've only made recipes from Jack's website.

Balanced is a fair and reasonable objective, Flat. You will make it :)

Garrick that is a really lovely summary. I salute you x