I am about to live off £100 per week

[FlatBrokeForTheFirstTime]

Ok here goes. Please don't judge. I will skim over my background. Divorced and now I am dealing with a lifestyle change like no other. My sons are at Eton.

I have a little house in Wiltshire with a mortgage of £50k. I have a tiny flat in London that I rent out to make some income. I have a crap job and my pay is £30k. What none of my friends know is that I rent a bedsit off a guy near Paddington for £200 p week. After all of my outgoings I have £100 a week to live off.
Out of this I have to buy food, petrol, anything the boys want (so hence I am looking forward to them going back to school so that I don't have to buy them food too) Sounds bad, but that is the evil truth.
I don't expect pity, but I have enough clothes etc from my married life to get by, and they are still in date.
HOW on earth can I do this? Do I take out £100 in cash each week and put that credit card aside, out of my purse, for absolute emergencies? My maintenance from my ex has stopped. I don't get child maintenance as he lives overseas. He does give the boys pocket money and is generous to them.

I don't have a boyfriend. I am just on my own, trying to make ends meet. Apart from my mortgage have no other debts.
My biggest fear is never being able to afford another foreign holiday with my children.
How can I get out of this and improve my situation? What do I eat to make sure I am living within my budget? I think it must be about £60 after petrol.

How are you paying the school fees? £100 a week is plenty for 1 person to live on.

If your biggest fear is never leaving the country then you've got very little to worry about

It isn't plenty.

It may well be ample, enough, okay, but it isn't ample.

As in you can't be paying two sets of boarding fees out of your £30,000 taxed income. Or are they already on substantial bursaries that you top up?

My biggest fear is never being able to afford another foreign holiday with my children.

Honestly, if that is your biggest fear then you aren't doing as bad as you are making out.

Your boys are teenagers. Hiding your reality from them is not only an insult to their intelligence, but it is also turning your life into some shameful dirty secret. Maybe some awareness about the realities of life and money would be good for them to hear.

A lot of people live on less than £100 per week after all bills. It is nothing new. Maybe that is why you aren't getting the responses you thought you would. It is difficult, but it is not shocking.

My comments have nothing to do with where your sons go to school and more to do with you getting a grip.
You have the income from a 30k job and an extra £800 per month from one of the two properties that you own. You can cover all your bills and afford to rent a 3rd property to live in.

Oh and Ginger, I'm not unhappy and I've never started a thread about how hard I feel I have it, as frankly, compared to when I was most I'll, I have it good.

I'm not taking my unhappiness out on the OP, but anyone who has what she has and doesn't realise that they actually have it good needs to have a word with themselves.

I'm a little puzzled at why when your children are still in full time education you are not still getting Child maintenance?

In the end the reason you need to keep the house in Wiltshire is because the children need to come back to it. Otherwise you could also rent that and it would improve your situation.

It doesn't matter what your income is, as Charles Dickens says in David Copperfield “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”

Unbelievable you may have around 100 a week esa but what about your child tax credits and child benefit? Possibly dla for your sn child which then gives increased tax credits? Unless that all goes on paying a mortgage or rent (unlikely) then there is zero comparrison.

No need to be so narky and judgement! Completely different scenario and this is probably a big shock to the ops system!

Flat you will get used to it. Can you sell one of your properties? You have the capital tied up there. £100 for food and petrol will be fine for you but I know what you mean when the kids are home and providing for them. Teens are expensive! And you want to give them the life they've been accustomed too, that's perfectly natural and understandable to most people. It must feel like hell for you.

Is your ex living in a country where maintenance can be acquired via Remo? Or whatever it is. I don't know much about it myself but there is a way to get it depending on which country he lives in. Have you asked him for help via maintenance to support the boys when they are home?

Honestly though, I would look at selling one of your properties or not renting the bedsit,or both. It will make you happier,you don't need to keep up with people -live your life and enjoy it.

The £100 will feed you easily. But I imagine you will miss a previous social life and things too, as well as struggling when it comes to your sons. You can find a way to balance everything out and have a better life.

To those with no sympathy, you really need to step back and think. Everyone, no matter who they are, will take a while to adjust and miss a previous life when things change so much. What on earth gives you the right to berate someone coming down from a different life to you just because they have or have had more than you? You have zero right and should be thoroughly ashamed! You will have more than other people too, remember that!

sorry, I'm really confused

£100 is what you have left after all the bills are paid, apart from petrol? So mortgage/rent, council tax, food, heating, elec, phone, internet, insurance - have you counted all of these things?

and how much is petrol?

I just think it's good to check because sometimes people say "all bills" and they've forgotten something.

if you haven't forgotten anything and your petrol is (a guess) £30 per week, then you are effectively saying you have £70 a week spare cash, which isn't bad?

£97.50 covers our food, utility bills (gas and electric meters) travel for DS to school and any treats. It's hard going, but you can do it.

She's asking for advice on living on £100 a year UB - and you waded in to inform her that you had it worse and that she should think herself lucky.

We could all say that.

We could all compare ourselves to somebody, somewhere and say 'well thank goodness I am not them.'

But that doesn't tend to bring much comfort, consolation or support when we need advice pertaining to OUR situation, not somebody else's.

I assume the OP's ex is paying their fees, so moving them would only affect them and not the OP.

I don't understand why you are renting a place in London - can you earn a lot more there than you can in Wiltshire?

I think you should ask MNHQ to take 'Eton' out of the opening post - you risk identifying your sons - there are a lot of mums on here whose sons are at that school.

Options

• rent out house in Wiltshire. Move into London flat and your DC can come to you. This is better for you as you will have a good single life in London and may stand a better chance of finding a new partner. If your boys are teens then they will go to uni in a few years I expect and won't live with you anyway. You can get anywhere from London - cheap Eurostar etc.

• find job in Wiltshire, live there full time.

• how are you managing school hols? You can exist on £100 a week alone, if that's just spending money. You might want to purchase YNAB and use it.

• £200 a week is £800 a month - is this where you live during the week? You could probably find a cheaper weekly mon- fri lodging all in for much less. Where do you keep your car?

Stop panicking! And don't sell your nice things yet. And stop worrying about hols and stuff like that. You need to concentrate on the reality of day to day life.

And we ALL have it good compared to Syrian refugees suffocating in the back of a van, compared to poverty stricken street children in Brazil, compared to women sentenced to death by stoning for looking at another man, don't we?

We know that.

It doesn't detract in any way from the fact that sometimes we need advice and help about OUR situations, which is why mumsnet can be a brilliant resource.

Ginger "She's asking for advice on living on £100 a year UB - and you waded in to inform her that you had it worse and that she should think herself lucky"

no, that's not fair to UB. The poster seems to be saying that she has nearly £100 a week disposable income, described £30k as not being a good salary, and owns two properties.

If I have that interpretation right, then it is hard to see what the problem is. £100 "fun" money is lots for 3 people.

OP, I understand if you need advice on cutting back and budgeting etc, please don't think I'm having a go. But if it's that much "fun" money each week the first thing would be to recognise how much you have and how far it can go, rather than saying how little you have.

£100 a week is plenty to live on, even after the petrol.

Your problem is you have come down in income rather than up.

I live in a flat on a council estate, and absolutly love it, it is the best place I have ever lived. My next door neighbour is a divorced woman who lost out in the settlement, left her 4 bed detached house, and can't believe she has descended to this!

It is all comparative!

First and foremost, why £60 a week in petrol?

A bus pass is is £80.70 for a month. A train and bus pass will still be cheaper than your petrol.

I've raised children happily on less than this, so don't worry. We have had some wonderful holidays, camping, or cheap last minute deals.

This is the oddest stealth boast I've ever seen. I'm unsure whether to give you a or tell you how I manage to feed a family of 6 and put petrol in the, large, car for £100 a week with change. Shall return later and see how the thread is going.

No Lorei the 100 has to cover food and petrol and anything else for the boys and op.

Oh come on, it's not a lot to live on - she said she only had £60 pw left after petrol. Presumably she has to buy her food and household things with that. That is not a lot of money.

So what if she was?

As someone has said above, many mums on here send their sons to Eton. We are not badly off by a long stretch but I still can only dream of sending my son to Eton!

So I should wade in and loudly and pompously berate anyone asking advice who is better off than me should I?

Sorry but that is utter nonsense. New circumstances need time - time to adapt to and adjust to. The op is seeking support in this. I can tell you now that I ran into more money problems my first year in work when I was bringing home treble what I had as a university student, because my mindset was 'ooh I can afford it, I am working now!'

We all, at different times, need guidance, suggestions and support. If that's being limited to the lowest on here - only ask for financial advice if you're on benefits and things are as bad as they can be - then MN will lose a lot of posters. That what you want?

is your dh paying maintenance for the DC? Where is he living? Is it outside Europe? Does he work for a British company? If so, you can get a court order to have it paid direct from them.

My ex dh also lives outside Europe, works for a foreign company, and he doesn't pay if he doesn't feel like it. I can't afford a lawyer so I have to suck it up. If it's outside UK jurisdiction and Europe there is not much you can do.

Do you get on with your ex dh? Or is it all acrimonious?

Hello FlatBroke - it's shit when your marriage breaks down and your 'friends' act like it's catching. Or you might want to get your mitts on their balding ugly husbands.

Depending on where your tiny flat is in London, you might be able to get more rent for it. Corporate companies need flats as I'm sure you know. I'd suggest you see how much similar flat are being rented for. That could net you a few hundred extra a month.

You shouldn't have to struggle to buy your sons stuff - the things they remember are you being there for them and showing up to football matches, school events etc.

£30K is not a crap salary. As LowDoor says - you have career options. And I bet many of your so called 'friends' are reliant on their rich husbands. But don't feel you have to hide - make new friends, real ones.

Why don't you get maintenance when he can afford to be 'generous' with the boys? It doesn't sound like you got very good advice from your solicitor.

I don't understand why you only have £100 per week to live on.

With a £30k salary your net monthly pay should be £1,957.27. You also say that the London flat pays you more than £800 per month which covers your bedsit therefore you don't have to pay for rent out of your salary so you start with £1,956.27 - how do you spend £1,556.27? Are you still paying a mortgage on the London flat?

Perhaps if you give us a breakdown of your full monthly expenditure some of us can help you find some ways to save money so you have more than £100 a week to live off.