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Original poster

Threatening Behaviour from Person I Owe Money To

55 replies

ScaredandNeedAdvice · 08/11/2006 20:27

I've changed my name for this because I'm embarrassed and scared.

I moved house in mid September and had to use removals people. I paid half up front and a cheque for the other half. The cheque bounced. I had a letter and wrote saying I'd sort it out as soon as I could but gave them a cheque for a small amount of it. Not heard anything else.

Just now a very menacing, demanding man showed up on my front demanding I go down to the cash point and withdraw the money there and then. Two issues, my dd is asleep upstairs and I have no money in the bank. I tell him I can't do anything. He is threatening to come to my work and wait until I do sort it out. I have no money. I have been screwed over by my exlandlord who withheld all my bond which I had planned on using for this amount. I've now agreed to meet someone tomorrow outside my bank in the town where I work at 1140am with the money. I don't have it. I told him when he was here that his threatening behaviour was scaring me and I was tempted to ring the police. He backed off a bit. But what the f*ck am I going to do? I'm terrified. I have money going in my account tomorrow but my overdraft that I'm extended over is going to eat that up. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
lulumama · 08/11/2006 20:30

is it a legitimate company or a man with a van?

does this man work for them? i would not meet him alone....i would not meet him full stop. call the company and tell them what has happened. they should give you time to pay in installments. as most reasonable firms would do.

how awful for you

colditz · 08/11/2006 20:30

right.

Tell him to take it to the small claims court. Also tell him that if he approaches you in person again, you will call the police and have an injunction taken out against him - and if he breaks that bugger he will go to jail.

He is not allowed to come to your house and threaten you. Make sure he knows you know that. Send him a letter, but in the meantime, if he comes to approach you again, call the police.

colditz · 08/11/2006 20:31

Do not go to meet him, do not go anywhere near him, he sounds like a nutter.

Freckle · 08/11/2006 20:37

Did this man have any evidence that he was connected to the removals firm? I would contact the firm and complain about his threatening and intimidating behaviour and tell them that you are contacting Trading Standards - and then do that. Tell the firm that you will not be meeting anyone outside your bank. Offer instalments and send them the first instalment.

Speak to the police just to get it on record.

Even bailiffs aren't allowed to use this sort of tactic - and they have powers far beyond that of mere mortals.

SofiaAmes · 08/11/2006 21:27

Hey wait a minute. You got services from someone and then bounced a check on them. You shouldn't have waited for them to send you a letter for you to write them to say you would try to sort it out soon. Removals firms work close to the edge and that check is probably the difference between the guy paying his rent or mortgage, or feeding his children. I don't blame him for being angry and showing up on your doorstep. The right thing to do would be to work out a payment plan with him now and stick to it. Don't make promises to meet him at your bank if you don't intend to show up and don't have any money in it. It's not nice and you wouldn't want someone else to do that to you. And I bet if someone stiffed you with a bounced check you would send your husband or brother or someone like that to show up on their doorstep. You behaved badly to begin with (by bouncing a check) and you should be the one taking the initiative to make amends.

SherlockLGJ · 08/11/2006 21:36

Sofia

Have you had a bad day ??

TheHighwayCod · 08/11/2006 21:37

i dont blame menacing man either

mooshy · 08/11/2006 21:38

Sofiaames- i can see the otherside of things when you highlight how removal firms may live close to the breadline ect.
However NOBODY should be threatened by a menacing man on their own doorstep.Surely if this is a respectable firm they would take things further legally and professionally-not by arranging a meeting at ones cashpoint the next day.If this was the correct and decent thing to do i would be forever meeting men (esp my bank manager ! ) outside the cashpoint.
Scaredandneedadvice- totally go with Colitz.
Do not meet any man alone at the cashpoint.Feeding your family ect. comes first.I would ring them first thing and say you will communicate only in writing ect. You should not be made to feel like this so please dont meet him-did he have ID?

Tortington · 08/11/2006 21:42

i do

there are proceedures for this. if everytime somone owed money a representative came to the door and threatened them - we would call it uncivilised.

i am not saying OP was right - just that there are laws and legal proceedures for a reason.

bet he wont accept cheques next time.

pay the man for gods sake

if your skint dont shit on your own doorstep missus - only do over the bigger companies - pay tesco by cheque - let them chase you for bounced groceries.

don't screw the little man!

but little business man shouldn't come over all menacing

SofiaAmes · 08/11/2006 22:17

I have been on the receiving end of performing services and then not getting paid for it simply because the person who ordered the services from me (and my dh who was a builder) didn't have the money to pay. And it made me mad. And if I thought the person did so without respect, and if it happened to be a week that I had no money in the bank, I would send my husband to yell at them. I have tried to pursue things with small claims court in the uk. It is costly and time consuming. And even if you win, it doesn't actually guarantee you the money....you still have no viable way of enforcing payment. Sending an angry man is much more effective.

Original poster
ScaredandNeedAdvice · 09/11/2006 01:22

I actually wrote to them after the bounced cheque to query the fact that they had broken my microwave and a lamp and enclosed a cheque for part of it and asked them to agree to installments. I didn't hear back from them.

I did call the police because it was very threatening and I don't mean just where's my money, he made it quite clear he was going to follow me and my daughter around. I fully expect him to be at my work tomorrow having followed me there on the train or one of his henchman. They have a website - I don't know how reputable that makes them. But will contact Trading Standards tomorrow.

I take your point about the bounced cheque and I had never intended to not pay or for that cheque to bounce but I live close to the line every single month. DD's dad pays maintenance as and when it suits him and he hasn't for last 3 months now. Not excuses just facts.

It's now 120am and the police who were supposed to be here within 4 hours haven't shown up. I don't know what to do. I certainly don't feel like I can go to bed. I'm that scared. I have the instructions to call 999 if I see him again with my special psycho number for my case.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 09/11/2006 01:30

I'm just off to bed but why not leave a message on the removal van's answering service to tell them you had no response to your letter and you want to sort this out. Any small firm will be sick to the back teeth of people bouncing cheques - but if you explain your situation and offer to pay in instalments they will probably be fine.

mooshy · 09/11/2006 09:37

Scaredandneedadvice
Just wondering how your doing.Your probably at work now, but post when you get a mo and let us know your ok.

lorina · 09/11/2006 10:10

It sounds to me like he has waited patiently for two months for you to pay him. And now his patience has run out.

Is it very much money ? Could a relative lend it to you? Could you ask work for an advance on your pay?

Original poster
ScaredandNeedAdvice · 09/11/2006 10:18

I'm at work, thanks for asking.

Patience? I can't believe you think that someone coming into my house with my daughter sleeping upstairs, threatening to follow me around is acceptable behaviour. I have no money or would have paid. I stated before I did offer to pay when I wrote about the damaged property and enclosed a cheque. They have not contacted me since. He made up a story about solicitors letters because no solicitor would recommend this.

I will have him charged with threatening behaviour if the police deem that appropriate. Yes, I owe him the money. That much I have never disputed. I have no issues paying him back. I don't have any other debt full stop. I paid my credit cards off about 2 years ago after I split with dd's dad and haven't had one since. But it's the 9th November - I get paid at the end of the month and have £30 to last until then. I have nothing to give.

My parents are both deceased, I have no siblings and I have no friends I could ask. If I did, I would have done so before.

OP posts:
lorina · 09/11/2006 10:24

I didnt say it was acceptable behaviour.Its horrible behaviour.

But it is his money and he may really need it.

Most employers will give you an advance on your pay.Its worth asking.

Good luck ,I hope it works out for you.

curlysmum · 09/11/2006 10:44

Hi , this sounds awful I would report him to the Police , you could ask the DSS for a crisis loan , even if you are working you are entitled, they are for anybody in crisis ,I got one last year when my central heating packed up and had to pay emergency repairs, which left me with no money for food, lunch money etc, ring your local job centre and you do it over the phone explain you had an emergency or something that you had to pay and now you have no money to buy food etc , you would have to bring a ministatement or bank print out and they cannot refuse you with a child to care for . They take it back a little amount from your tax each month , I thing they gave me £80. approx which could help with this. Could you ask your bank to consolidate your over draft , then pay it back a bit a month and they put your account back to zero while that goes through, I think your employers also may help if you explain its an family emergency or something.

Loshad · 09/11/2006 11:11

ScaredandneedAdvice,
you must have known when you paid him that the cheque would bounce. If you have a job, and no other debts, then i think you should get a loan and pay him back. I've seen two friends lose their houses because their customers, people whom they had entered into a contract with, and who agreed the amount, did not pay them, and then their own firms went bankrupt. I'm not saying he should intimidate you, but he'd probably just finished work for the day which would account for him calling round at 8.30pm.

Original poster
ScaredandNeedAdvice · 09/11/2006 11:39

I couldn't get a loan if I wanted to. It took me about 3 years to pay of joint debt with my ex during which time my credit has suffered. But I did pay it all back. Like I will this time. I'm glad you're all able to judge. I spent the night worrying that he was going to come back and throw bricks through windows etc as that was his mentality. Yes, the debt will be paid (£130), but not today as he demanded because I don't have the money to do it. He can take me to county court if he likes and get a judgement and all that but to come into my home and put the fear of you know who into me is wrong. I don't care the circumstances. He was sent to intimidate and threaten. Neither of those are acceptable, I would say the same had it happened to anyone. I do know what's right and what's wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right.

OP posts:
Original poster
ScaredandNeedAdvice · 09/11/2006 11:40

And I didn't know when I paid him that the cheque would bounce. My yearly bonus is paid in that month and was smaller than I was told. That is why it bounced in the first instance.

OP posts:
curlysmum · 09/11/2006 12:06

I think you are right , nobody knows what our circumstances will be tommorrow and I think you should write him a letter to explain fully your circumstances re you pay at work and send it recorded delivery, tell him you will report him to the Police if he continues, offer to send him something in installments as soon as you get paid , would you not consider the crisis loan to get him off your back in the meantime at least then you could give him £20.00 or something.

doormat · 09/11/2006 12:14

threaten him back
that if he doesnt back off he wont get a bean

explain your situ and ask for instalments to be accepted
good luck
xxx

fortyplus · 09/11/2006 13:52

Surely if it's only £130 then you could refer back to the microwave and lamp? The danger for you will be that if a bailiff is sent round you'll have to pay the cost - and that could be 500 quid or something.
Do you have a friend or relly who could lend you the money. I had a friend in a similar (not so scary) situation and I lent her £90 and she promised to pay it back £10 per week. As it turned out she repaid me a month early because she got some overtime.
Who do you know who will trust you?

Original poster
ScaredandNeedAdvice · 09/11/2006 14:02

I've written a letter and copied it to the police (quoting my ref number with them) and trading standards and included a copy of my previous letter and the original quotation for the work. In that I've set out my offer and included two post dated cheques. He would have to go the court route before bailiffs, right? They haven't even started that and seriously wouldn't they do that before this in light of his comments that they'd sent solicitor's letters. I've never received any letters from them or would have replied.

Maybe I'm not getting across just how threatening it was. I feared that he would physically harm me and my daughter if I didn't agree to what he wanted then and there. He laughed it all off like it was ok to do this. It isn't. Yes owing money isn't right either but there are ways to go about getting it back and his approach was bang out of order.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 09/11/2006 14:05

I'm not certain about the bailiff - depends whether you signed a contract agreeing to pay in a specified time, I guess. Ask Citizen's Advice.

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