Help, can I afford to give up work?

[Austen]

Really need some advice. Want to give up my job, to stay at home with ds 1yr old and ds 6yr old. After all mortgage, bills, we will only have ?700 to spend on food, petrol, and all other extras, clothes, holiday, car tax, disasters, etc.. Does this sound doable?

Both me and dp work, me pt and we don't have £700 left over each month to cover that so I'd say yes, its just you might have to say goodbye to some of the luxuries unless you're prepared to take up some sort of working from home type thing

You live to your means, it's quite amazing. Plus don't forget your tax credit would change and you may get quite a large increase, and probably a rebate of your tax that you have over paid this year.

£700 is more than I could ever hope to have left over so think yourself very lucky!!

yes, sorry if I sound like a spoilt cow. Just been spending about £400 a month on food shopping, £160 on petrol, and about £400 on all other odds,sods, going out, others b'day presents etc. and hence feeling worried about doing all this on £700. Perhaps I'm really neurotic because I know that when I tell my mum I'm giving up work, she'll go spare - thinks I should have a career and that I won't be happy at home, but I'm tired of being pulled left. right and centre by all the guilt.

HAve you sat down and worked out the available budget in detail? x for weekly groceries, y for monthly gas bill, z for kids clothes, and so on?

I don't think I could support my household on £700. We spend almost that much at Tesco alone. Remember also that both council tax and gas prices are expected to rise.

Could you compromise and work say 1 or 2 days a week? Or maybe that would defeat the whole point of wanting to stay home?

Definitely do able You will have to menu plan and be a bit strict but you will have time to do that and if you are really wanting to spend the time with your children it will be worth the sacrifice and you won't find it hard at all Good luck xx

We live on less than £700 after mortgage/utilities, and we have a 4yo and a 2yo. It is certainly do-able, my children have an excellent diet and we have everything we need, although we do have to be quite careful.

Am slightly shocked by Uwila's spending £700 at Tesco every month - I don't think I could spend that much if I tried

We don't live in London, though, which makes a difference to living costs.

We have 3 adults and two kids in the house. I am always horrified by the grocery bill. And everyone else is always complaining that I didn't put what they asked for on the list. I've spent many hours trying to reduce the bill, and come to the conclusion that the bulk of it is in baby goods (like nappies). I ban overpriced kiddie/convenience foods. But, still the grocery bill is around £150 a week. Am I unusual? Would love to know if there is a better/cheaper way to shop... maybe I'll go start my own thread...

I suppose if we were chain-smoking alcoholics with a weakness for smoked salmon, I could see us approaching £700 at Tesco...

(No offence meant Uwila, I am joking )

Personally I think we would struggle to live on £700/month as well. But if so many of you manage, then I am obviously spoilt.

I spend £60/week on food (and that includes takeaways, odd meals out, so I have to cut back on other things if we want to do that). So that is £240/month. Car tax is c. £10/month. I currently spend at least £100/month on petrol. DH has company car and petrol allowance. But that would reduce if I didn't have to commute - so maybe £50 - we do live in a village. DS's swimming lessons are £15/month. So I am already past £400 without emergencies, clothes/shoes for kids, presents, days out etc, haircuts, dinner money, etc.

Ah yes I think wine has replaced nappies on my grocery list. My DD is day and night trained fortunately. So I actually buy very little food aimed specifically at the kids - Yeo Valley yoghurts and occasionally individual juice cartons and that is it.

I don't smoke, I hate salmon (but I do like other fresh fish), and I'm not an alcoholic (but I might become one if I get any more depressed about my grocery bill). \link {http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2230&threadid=237014&stamp=061107090617\Weekly Grocery Bill Thread}

I once saw one of those Alvin Hall programmes where he advised a couple who wanted to know whether they could afford for the wife to stop working.
He went through their finances and told them that her job only brought in a total of £180 odd per month, despite the fact that the salary looked a lot on paper. Basically, her job incurred all sorts of costs; not just the big ones, like childcare and travel, but clothing (suits, shoes, tights etc), lunches, coffees, grabbing something for the family supper from M&S on the way back from work etc etc. So his advice was that if they could tighten their belts and do without £200 per month, she could stop working (which is what she had wanted to do, but feared they couldn't afford). It was really interesting.

Weekly Grocery Bill Thread

it is doable, but you will have to compermise (sp).

I am not going back to work, so i have given up my car, now walk a mile to dd to pre-school twice a week, and shopping if we need bits that i can't wait to go to the shops after dh is in from work.

Menu plan so you only buy what needed, do you need to spend £400 on food each month. I have £50 (2 adults and dd nearly 3yrs) a week for food and treats, but once every 3 or 4 months i do a big shop online to stock up my cupboards this is normally about £150.

Why does your mum not want you to look after your children, and go to work and be stressed,tired and being pulled in all directions, surly she wants what best for you and if that means you stay at home or work part time then she should be happy that you and your family are.

That's a good point, Satine. There are costs I incurr because I work. For example, work clothes, or I do end up buying some convenience when I'm in a pinch and have no time/energy to cook dinner.

We have lived on very little from time to time. When we had our first child and cost of child care was more than one of our salaries but only for a year so 20 years later well worth the sacrifice at the time. We used to buy clothes in Oxfam and church jumble sales, eat a lot of brown rice, carrots etc. Never ever bought say orange juice for years - it was just too expensive. I still have that feeling now sometimes. It's very possible to live cheaply and can be quite fun.

By the way as a mother of a 22 and almost 20 year old I would not want them to stop work to care for children having been through a divorce myself and knowing how satisfying my 20 years + of working life would be. We've talked about it and of course they and their husbands in due course will make the choices they think are right but I won't shirk from putting my own views because their long term financial position particularly after marriage break up etc is relevant. Also too many women in the UK don't make proper pension provision which can be hard to do if you don't work outside the home.

Other cheap ideas - long trips walking to the public library (doesn't cost anything). Long walks in places without shops so the children can't nag for an ice cream. My 22 year old is trying to live cheaply (she's a student) at the moment and she does things like take a lunch out with her every day rather than buy one. It's £2 at Starbuck etc which soon adds up to quite a lot.

We spend about £100 a week at Tesco for me and 5 children (or those at home), sometimes more, sometimes less, and I rarely shop at other times. I could spend less but as the years have gone on I've earned more money so don't have to worry so much about whether we can afford orange juice or whatever. I don't go inot shops. I hate the time wasting and temptations to spend money. I might go into one shop every month or two but not otherwise. That alone saves money as you only buy on line the things you need and not tempted by anything else.

This is all very encouraging but also still confusing as so many of you can't manage on the £700. My mum can't help with the kids because she lives in Ireland; and she genuinely believes I won't be happy not working...she thinks I'll throw myself in a ditch with boredom...and she thinks I won't get such a good job again.

You can go back to work in teh future though but you can never get those years back with your children and if that is important to you then do it.There are loads of things to do for a couple of years and then you could work part time whilst they are at school

Ifeel like a fraud, because I went back full time after first ds, and had a yr off after 2nd, then I've been back a year already part-time. My ds is almost 2, and many would argue why give up work now at this late stage, when I've already screwed them up for life anyway - will I make a difference to them, being there for ds before and after school, and at home with ds 2yo for next 2years before he starts school, or am I just trying desperately to get back the mistakes I've made? Sorry, just very confused, and sad...

You haven't screwed thwem up don't be daft!Every extra minute you spend with them is worth it imo.You will really remember it and it does make you feel good

thanks, but I get so much crap from other women about being at work, and women at home get so much crap from other women about being lazy bums, it does confuse your mind somewhat; I know we should listen to the inner voice etc, but I am weak and fear what others say about me as a mum.

hey Austen, we are a family of six and survive on about that a month, including food and petrol. I will be honest and say its a struggle in terms of we are always down to our last pennies by pay day, child benefit day etc but, we still have the odd takeaway, we still manage to have a bottle of wine a couple of times a week. We do cheap or free stuff with the kids at the weekend, walks, trips to the cinema for the £1 showing, going out on bikes that sort of thing. we certainly don't have a bad standard of life, sometimes whne things are tough i feel like I 'should' work, but honestly we do ok. Presents etc are a nightmare and this week, dp and i are going out so we cut back in other areas, so i haven't driven the car yet this week, no biggie. It can be done but be under no illusions its easy!

Thanks Quad, did you mean be under no illusions, it's not easy...just checking...I'm scared of taking the jump really.