Help, can I afford to give up work?

[Austen]

Really need some advice. Want to give up my job, to stay at home with ds 1yr old and ds 6yr old. After all mortgage, bills, we will only have ?700 to spend on food, petrol, and all other extras, clothes, holiday, car tax, disasters, etc.. Does this sound doable?

yep sorry its not easy! I recently got offered at £25, 000 a year job, which would make a world of difference to our finances but I'm not prepared to make the lifestyle sacrifices it would entail. yes of course i would love nice things but our house is still well decorated, my children always look well presented, and I actually quite like my life.

Yes, starting to realise that you can't have it all. I'm thinking of doing exam marking to bring in about 3-4k a year, to supplement each month, if we run into emergencies. Does anyone else feel victimised by mother, mil,and general female voices in the press, no matter what you do.

right, I've made a decision: we have got no savings, zilch, and we currently have £300 in our accounts, excluding directd's still to come out. If I can make us last until the end of the month on this, without going overdrawn, including ds2 b'day party coming up in a few weeks, then I will take this as a sign that we can manage, and do it.

Do you know what Austen, i really do not care what others think, I will not be made to feel bad about my choices, my kids are happy and thats the main thing. I haven't had any bad comments, not one, so I guess i am lucky but I will lead my life how i see best. I do not enter into debates on here about it, and i certainly don't give two hoots what the media think. People over analyse too much these days, do whatever you feel is right but don't base that decision on the opinions of others. I do occasional bits of work, like you describe which provides with a bit of extra, for emergencies, christmas etc, i think that is a good idea.

Good luck with it, I have about that to last me the month, and it will do, becasue it has to!

just a quick thought is it possible to take a month or two off of work without pay to see if you can manage. Or even put your salary into a saving account so

A) you can see if you can manage.
b) Bonus if you do decide that you can manage then you do have some savings.

If you find that you don't like being a sahm you can always look for another part time job.

I would agree with the point Satine made about how much you really have left when working - I have just been offered the chance to go back to my old place p/t but with 3 days nursery fees for twins, clothing, petrol etc I will only be about £200 a month better off - 3 days a week for £200 a month? I think not!!

Austin, do it. You are already regretting not doing it for dc 1 and 2, do it now or you will regret it. If you didn't want to do it, you wouldn't be asking in the first place. As others have sadi you will get a job again, albeit not such a good one but you will manage. You don't get those younger years back. It really is true that you live to your means.
Dh and I have been so skint that we were late in paying the rent, 10 yrs ago. A few years ago we were so well of we had 4 foreign holidays in 2 years, paid for a wedding and built a house. I left work last year to have ds (salary was low though, dh earns reasonably well) and now we have to be careful. We changed to a 1 account mortgage, at the time we were predicted to have paid our mortgage off in 6 years, now since I don't work, dh changed job and earns a lot less, we are hardly making a dent on it at all and it is depressing but the bills do get paid. We aren't struggling, we just aren't as well off as wew were before, but in my real inside view, we are better off now as we have ds.
Friends work, but their children are in daycare all day, they aren't very well behaved as a result (in these cases, I believe that to be the case, I am not judging others here) and they go out at weekends, fancy dress last weekend for eg, we didn't go as couldn't justify the £20 each for costume then + money for drink. I feel a little left out but when you balance it out I love having my ds. When ds goes to school I will prob go back to work, school hours and I'm quite looking forward to having a little more money, but it can all wait. There's plenty of time ahead.

You know you want to. Suck it and see!

I was made redundant over a year ago. After mortgage, bills etc we have less than £700 a month for food, petrol etc. We are doing it ok. We don't have any debts such as a car loan or credit cards/store cards or anything but we do have a fairly high mortgage. We budget very carefully, we have gone without a holiday this year but we still do nice days out, just cheaply. There are some old threads on MN about cost-cutting tips. Search the archives to find them, there is great advice on there. Good luck and do what you feel is right for your family.

thank you everyone; yes I think I'll do it. The trouble I'm finding with pt work now, is that I have to be at work before ds school opens and I didn't want to leave him in a breakfast type club in the village hall, so a childminder takes him to school and picks him up at the moment: so it isn't just ds2 that I'm considering this lifechange for, but to be there am and pm for ds1. I wonder if I'm being a bit soft to think ds1 needs me at these times now he is 6, or is a childminder doing the schoolrun perfectly o.k. Do most of you think, it's the early years at home that matter, not the schoolrun issue?

I am only speeking for myself here but my dd loves me being there to pick her up from school and drop her off. She is 5.

I wish I was in all your shoes, everyone on here sounds very lucky to have this much money per month to spend on food and stuff.

I budget for everything. I have to be very disciplined and save for absolutely everything, Christmas would be impossible if I didn't put a little away every week for the full year.

We have about £20 a week to spend on food. This may seem nothing but its perfectly do-able. Just not the ideal and there is no way I could live on a penny less!! I'm trying to get a council exchange at the moment as we live miles from work so the petrol costs us an absolute fortune. We spend more on petrol than we do on food and clothes.

One day my hard work will pay off and DH's debts will be repaid (£500+per month just on a loan at the moment, then rent, bills etc). Its a bloody hard slog and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.