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Original poster

Is it true that my ex can just pay money into a savings account for my 15yr ( nearly 16) old instead of maintenance?

35 replies

treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 17:45

That's it really. He claims that he doesn't have to pay me anything any more, as he will be putting lots of money into saving for her instead.

Is this right?

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 13/04/2015 17:50

No. He can save for her but still needs to pay maintenance

annielostit · 13/04/2015 17:51

Most maintainance agreement's run until the child leaves ft education. It depends if its court, CSA or just what you've both agreed. I would say your not agreeing.
My ds is in yr 11 my ex still pays. Don't know if he'll carry on to college though. We made our own arrangements.

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 17:52

Thanks for this. He thinks that he doesn't have to pay now that she's nearly 16.

His other idea is to pay money directly to her, (which she will then refuse to pass to me for accomodation/bills/food etc).

What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 17:53

annie, he's been paying voluntarily up until now, so I reckon that by the time I take him to court we will run out of time? Plus I really can't afford to take him to court!!

OP posts:
BaronessEllaSaturday · 13/04/2015 17:57

Put in a claim via CMS no need to go through the courts.

Cherryapple1 · 13/04/2015 17:59

no your ex is wrong. I agree, put in a claim with CMS and let them deal with him. It costs £20 or is free if there was abuse. If he has it deducted from wages it costs him 20% on top too. If your DD is in full time education until 19 he will have to pay you until then.

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 17:59

CMS? Not Child Support Agency?

If he's paying money straight to dd's bank account (like a substantial amount a month) does that mean he's let off?

OP posts:
Cherryapple1 · 13/04/2015 18:01

no it has changed now.

www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/overview

No, him paying her direct has no bearing.

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 18:02

Sorry, what is CMS?

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 13/04/2015 18:02

Child maintenance service (it's recently changed ) and no he is not let off for giving her money. It's two separate things

LineRunner · 13/04/2015 18:03

No he can't do this if you don't agree. Lodge a claim asap with the Child Maintenance Service.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 13/04/2015 18:09

CMS is the new child maintenance service. They changed the way it works a bit so set up a new service last year to do it. He can give her as much as he likes but it would class as optional spending money not maintenance and won't affect what he owes you at all.

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 18:18

Ooh, ok, thanks for this. Will call them tomorrow. Fingers crossed the whole thing doesn't take months.

OP posts:
Micah · 13/04/2015 18:22

Is she leaving school at 16 and getting a job or apprenticeship?

If she's staying in school then yes, he has to pay cm to you and you can force him via cms. Paying the money to her does not exempt him, he still has to pay you.

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 18:29

She'll be staying on at school til 18 to do A-levels.

He says I'm just money grabbing for myself and that dd is entitled to spend the money that's meant for her however she likes.

OP posts:
BaronessEllaSaturday · 13/04/2015 18:50

The money is aimed at keeping a roof over her head, keeping her warm and clothed and keeping her fed so he is wrong. Good luck with it.

Cherryapple1 · 13/04/2015 19:21

He really can feck off! Was he abusive while you were with him perchance?

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 20:25

He was an absolute arse and we lived separate lives!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 13/04/2015 20:28

Hmm yeah but you're supposed to provide her with a bedroom, and food, and clothing and transportation with what then?

Cherryapple1 · 13/04/2015 20:30

he sounds like an utter arse that is for sure! Is he self employed or PAYE?

Original poster
treacleturkey · 13/04/2015 20:37

Random - well, apparently I'm spending his money on MY mortgage instead of things for his daughter, so he's stopping my payments.

OP posts:
HormonalHeap · 13/04/2015 20:38

Treacleturkey my ex h also called me money grabbing for accepting maintanence for the two babies he walked out on. Told me I must be spending it on jewellery for myselfGrin. I'm now happily remarried and it kills him to still be paying ME maintainance for them whilst watching our new family go on lovely holidays etc. Never believed in Karma before!

RandomMess · 13/04/2015 20:43

Well just phone up CMS tonight/tomorrow and get the ball rolling. He can pay you the minimum he has to and give the extra direct to dd. Funny how they overlook paying for the essentials like food, heat, light, bedroom...

Cherryapple1 · 13/04/2015 20:51

legally you are entitled to maintenance. Does he really think he is paying your mortgage? What about food, clothes, uniform, school books, transport, entertainment, electric, gas, etc.......... is that all paid for out of fresh air?

My ex decided to pay what he wanted after abandoning us. CMS are taking it out of his wages now. I am sure he is fuming about that - good.

Original poster
treacleturkey · 14/04/2015 09:28

Cherryapple, how long did that take? My ex has only just decided to start the not-paying this month so I'm worried the CMS won't take me seriously.

The other problem is that I don't have his address or even his email, he's always been so secretive, and dd doesn't know it (or want to give it to me) either!

OP posts: