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Living on (not even a shoe-string) - maybe velcro

60 replies

helenrigby · 21/12/2014 15:16

I've just returned from the supermarket, it was mad. Folk pushing trolley's chokka with food (some of which will without doubt will be thrown away), presents galore, and enough drink to satisfy a regiment. The music made me smile, all the staff were dressed in either Christmas jumpers or onesies. The Salvation Army band were playing just outside the door, it always gives me a lump in throat when I listen to festive music. There were lots of wonderful offers on and I was very grateful for the mince pie on offer at the door.

Trouble is I had spent my morning going through every hiding space that a coin could possibly end up in. We had run out of toothpaste, I had two potato cakes in the bread bin, a jacket potato, two eggs, oatflakes and some rice which needs to last me until Tuesday. On Tuesday I will get £80 family allowance and that needs to pay my food through until I get paid on the 2nd Jan. This is to feed four of us. There will be no presents this year, there are no treats, and food will be minimal.

I'm not unemployed, I'm not on benefits. I am the new breed of velcro-family. I earn money so am not entitled to any help from anywhere. I have a mortgage, and I have a car (which enables me to work). To look at us we would not be obviously having money issues, and we act it out well. The Kids have automatically become good at pulling the wool - because they are too embarrassed to let friends know any different. The organisation that I work for changed peoples contracts during the year, it meant that I am now on a dreaded zero hour contract. I have lost around £10,000 per year on the new contract, but on top of that because the organisation closes for Christmas and Easter, I now will not got any pay for two weeks of those periods. I am entitled to holiday pay, and have around 7 days owing me, but even though I asked if I could have it at Christmas to offset the two weeks without pay, they have said that they can't pay me until March.

Anyway, back to the supermarket. I manged to scrape enough money for a tube of toothpaste. I walked in and went straight to the dental isle. I met a few people I know and had a nice chat with them. On the way out I gave my change of 3p to the Salvation Army. Hopefully they will be able to do more with it by adding it to their funds, than I could do with it. When I got home I had one of the potato cakes for my Breakfast/Lunch. I organised the rest between my three Children.

I live one day to the next. I don't know what we will eat tomorrow, and am always positive of my ability to make a small amount of money go a very long way. I heard someone joking about the food-bank the other day, about not knowing anyone who needs it, and what's it all about anyway. Trouble is I'm not even able to apply to the foodbank, because I earn. Embarrassing though it is, I am hungry.

The other thing that does upset me is the way that companies speak to you. I am proud od always paying my way, but the way things are I have to pay things when I have the money and not necessarily on the day that it was supposed to be paid. The customer service staff at these companies speak to me like I am dirt, asking why I didn't pay on the set date, why have I not got the money, why am I not sorted. It's hurtful. I am trying so hard, I don't have any debts, no credit card, no store cards, and I am trying to find another job, which is proving difficult.

My Kids are brilliant. They all have part time jobs and all understand that at the moment the money all has to go in the one pot. One of my Daughters is working as a Waitress doing 13 hour shifts from 5pm to 6am over Christmas for minimum wage, and she is shattered. Not only that, the hotel chain she works for doesn't even provide them with any food and little breaks whilst on the shift.

I will get out of this rut, and I will be able to hold my head up high. Because I don't let anyone know about my situation I have no one to let off steam to, which is why I decided to just write it down. I know I'm not alone in this new Velcro Brigade. Velcro seemd an appropriate way of putting it, as when money comes in the velcro fastens slightly, but everyday it undoes, and I re fasten it just a bit, only for it to undo again.

OP posts:
helenrigby · 24/12/2014 16:29

Just had such an upsetting conversation with my 17 year old. She has just off-loaded all her anguish and upset about the situation we are in. She knows I haven't bought any presents this year, but when she spoke about it she burst in to tears as she said 'I know when we come downstairs tomorrow there will be no stocking with our name on it', she was being understanding, yet it has absolutely made her distraught.
It's such an awful situation, and cuddles only go so far.

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 24/12/2014 16:37

Oh Helen
It is so hard when the brave faces slip.

Can you do them each a stocking?
Of the big old sock variety, with a satsuma in the toe, some raisins in foil in the instep, a couple of squares of chocolate in foil with a bow and then, rummage in your "keepsakes box" and find something really old of each of theirs that they have forgotten you have stored
and wrap that up as well

It'll be a teeny thing, but it will be a positive surprise
and those are worth much more than money.

Have you got any old boxes - of the shoebox variety : stuff them with paper but put in each an envelope with a home made card and write an IOU of something you can reasonably hope to get them each in the next few months.
And wrap them in foil again if you've no paper in one each

Hugs to you and yours

RandomMess · 24/12/2014 16:43

Any jewellery you could give to your dds? Doesn't have to me valuable but it will be a something to open and have "new" and one day remember how difficult this time was and how you've got through the other side.

FlowerFairy2014 · 24/12/2014 18:00

That's sad. Mine will get up to nothing and be happy. That is probably because we are not badly off but are just not into presents.

Do tell her how important it is as a teenage girl to pick high paid professional careers when she graduates. So many women end up on minimum wage work for life and give up careers for men which is never wise however easy it feels at the time. She can now ensure by being a leading surgeon or actuary or whatever that she will not be in this position but the next years are key - getting good A levels, a really good university and a wise subject choice. The key message can also be never rely on men for money or indeed anyone except yourself.

helenrigby · 27/12/2014 11:06

Hello All, Just to let you know, we had a great Christmas. We went out walking to a lot of the day and just had some good old fashioned family time, then sat down laughing so much at the site with all the autocorrect facebook messages on it.

One thing that I couldn't quite understand. I did go to Tesco about 30 mins before it shut on Christmas Eve (along with many others), there were signs on the shelves stating that there would be no more reductions. A Turkey had gone down from around £40 to £30. A lot of people still left the shop without the cheaper food they were hoping for, and Tesco were still left with a lot on the shelves. I went back in first thing on Boxing Day, the same size Turkey was now £12, but no-one was wanting to buy it - not sure if anyone benefited from that, not the shopper or Tesco.

OP posts:
cleanmachine · 27/12/2014 11:09

Tesco are mean bastards. My cousin used to work there and was told to bin food on xmas eve rather than discount properly. They weren't allowed to take any of it. All binned. Bastards.

helenrigby · 27/12/2014 11:51

I decided to put my being at home for a few days to a more productive use. I decided to start a Blog (in fact, I'm in competition with my Daughter, I've got a friendly (no prizes I'm afraid), high five bet, that I can get more followers than her by the start of the 2015/16 football season. She is also starting a blog (In typical Good Old British fashion - I have to admit that her's is going to be amazing!).

Anyway, please have a look - it is very much a beginners blog, so please feel free to comment and make suggestions (obviously productive ones). My blog is about Velcro-Living, and I am going to put additional pages with paid work etc that you can get, so people can benefit from it. its at www.velcroliving.com

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/12/2014 11:56

Good for you, I wish I had a tenth of your positivity and outlook on life!

helenrigby · 27/12/2014 12:12

Thanks RandomMess for your comment. I think I am naturally positive, but I'm also lucky to have been around the world to both good amazing, and shockingly awful places (in war torn area's etc), and I know how lucky I am and how much life there is out there. and how beautiful this planet is.

Sitting in watching the Kardashian's isn't going to help anyone to enjoy there life any better. (Plus I can't sit still for more than 5 minutes!!!)

I think that another page on my blog will be about what's out there to live for? (I'll have to wait for my Son to come home to show me how to put on additional pages though??)

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/12/2014 20:23

No good asking me, DH and I struggling to use google on the new laptop such are the limits of our techie skills...

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