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Inherited but don't know what to do with it. Lone parent on benefits.

117 replies

Prosopopeia · 17/10/2014 11:01

I have inherited around £21,000
I would like to hear people's views on what they think is the best way to use it. I'm worried that if I ask for professional financial advice I am going to be talked into investments or something I know nothing about, I am terrible with money matters.

I would also like to add that I have been to hell and back in recent years as both a lone parent and partner of a DV relationship, I have reached almost suicidal lows and am emotionally traumatised to the extent I am barely functioning theses days, I am robotic in action, emotions, everything really. I feel as if I'm walking the planet as a ghost of my former self.

I am a lone parent age nearly 46 with a 5 and 7 year old. I left a DV relationship with the children's father. He contributes £2.50 a week per child deducted from his unemployment allowance. He does have a cash in hand job but doesn't declare it.

I rent privately and have been here 2 years.
I have however lived at 43 addresses since birth, mostly from my 20s, moving around for jobs, change of scenery, so on. I've moved 4 times since having children already.

I am currently not working. Not for want of trying. I am desperate to work. I am taking training courses, volunteering, and so on. I have also just begun driving lessons.

I realise that once the inheritance is available (currently in last stage of DWP potential overpayment of the deceased's pension credit investigation), it will deplete very quickly, as I lose all benefits and will pay my own rent (£525 month) and everything else. I know there's a benefits savings threshold but it's like trying to get blood from a stone calculating how that affects me, and I've asked every avenue, welfare rights advisors to Jobcentre lone parent advisors to the DWP themselves. Nobody can give me a straight answer.

Obviously although it's my dream, I'll never afford a permanent home for myself and the children, even though they can be bought for as little as £85k do-er uppers. But what's the best thing to do with this money? I've never had loans or credit cards (unusual I know) and have always worked in jobs where I'm living hand to mouth really, so never been extravagant. I have a small amount of debt all from utility arrears, a couple of thousand I should think.

I have thought I should buy a car once I've learnt to drive as that would assist my job hunt, but even that feels like a waste of money as myself amd the children are used to walking everywhere or using public transport.

The children will inherit their father's house and belongings in the future (which are quite valuable antiques and specialist electronic equipment) so I am comforted that they have a future nest egg.

After paying off debts, do I invest in ISAs, premium bonds, etc? Do I blow it on a car and holidays and several pairs of Clarks school shoes for the kids currently in Shoezone-disintegratables? Do I share it out with my stepsiblings? (This is my paternal grandmother who died. She is not blood related to my siblings, and only one of the siblings has ever met her). Do I give some to charity? Do I keep it in my bank savings account?

Any opinions are warmly welcomed. The money should be available very soon and I am scared of it - at my lowest debt point I was pinching loo rolls from the customer loos in stores-and to suddenly see it trickling away and to be back at square one again no job, on benefits, no savings, is awful.

I want to make the best use of it. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I want to 'earn it'. I want to feel deserving of money that my grandparents worked for. I spent every weekend with my Gran and she was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive to me (and her whole family) but it's still important to me that I use the money wisely. I afraid I might fritter it, because I'm bad at budgeting, or will be talked into investments, and so on.

I hope someone can help me see clearly what is the right thing to do.

OP posts:
DaisyFlowerChain · 17/10/2014 19:21

Talkin, the HMRC rules re gifts are totally separate from the job centres. Gifting money to continue to receive benefits is definitely seen as deprevation of capital.

HaroldLloyd · 17/10/2014 19:24

A financial adviser I was referring to Daisy.

Maybe a good chat with someone in CAB OP.

I think it pretty ludicrous you can't pay debts off.

TalkinPeace · 17/10/2014 19:25

So its required to give money to a payday lender in interest rather than settle the whole bill?
Really?
Do you have a link?

Because that is grossly offensive and needs stopping.

There is enough inequality in this country without the benefits rules being applied in a way that exacerbates it and STOPS people getting themselves out of debt.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 17/10/2014 19:26

It's not ludicrous if you have to then be supported by the state!As much as it sucks to not be able to fully enjoy an inheritance,benefits are for those in need/a safety net.They are not for people to be able to quickly get rid of money to be able to be supported by the state again!

Itsfab · 17/10/2014 19:32

Nice to think of giving it to your step siblings but out of order really when you have debts and are on benefits. Best thing, pay off your debts, get your children some decent shoes and coats and look at what you genuinely need to make your life safer and happier for the children. They certainly do not need a trip to Disneyland!

HaroldLloyd · 17/10/2014 20:32

It is ludicrous. Not allowing debts to be paid down.

Having large debts keeps people in poverty, it's better all around if these got repaid.

RandomMess · 17/10/2014 20:47

It seems that you need to try and get work asap tbh. At least you could look further afield for work because once you need a car for work it would be a justifiable expense I presume?

I guess you just need to spend it on day to day to living which seems sad but yes put £6k in an isa.

RandomMess · 17/10/2014 20:48

I would try and find out about how much you can pay off your debts without it being an issue.

Trick0rTreatSmellYourFeet · 17/10/2014 20:52

I agree, declare it. It will effect yr benefits but not wipe them out. Psychotherapy really helped me. I recommend it to everybody. Things get easier.

Cabrinha · 17/10/2014 20:54

FGS don't waste it giving it away to step siblings who didn't even know your grandmother! I'd turn in my grave if I were here - if I'd wanted random to have it, I'd have willed it that way or left it on a park bench!

You need to talk to the benefits people of course, but otherwise - get it into a bank account and don't touch it. Just leave it for 3 months. Get used to it being there. Don't let it panic you. Holiday, car, whatever - it'll still be there in 3 months.

You feel bad with money... Sounds like a confidence issue not a bad with money issue, because you don't have credit cards, you've survived nicking loo roll (been there !) and you're concerned not to piss this money away.

Leave it tucked away, get over to MSE, chat to people there, find out how they manage their money. Tweak your approach now, or simply gain confidence in it.

Then, when you feel confident about money, think about spending it.

Good luck!

TalkinPeace · 17/10/2014 21:05

still waiting to see a link that stops people on benefits reducing the amount they pay in interest
.....
its bullshit till I see a link

and once I do see a link its press cannon fodder

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 17/10/2014 21:13

Go and read for yourself Talkinpece. Preferably BEFORE giving bad advice that will lead to people being screwed over and being left with nothing

SolomanDaisy · 17/10/2014 21:16

Of course it's not deprivation of assets to pay off debt. What a bizarre suggestion.

Notmadeofrib · 17/10/2014 21:17

I'm also horrified - how can paying down debt be deprivation of capital, if you have debts there isn't any capital?!
This DEF needs checking OP and CAB surely can assist.

TalkinPeace · 17/10/2014 21:33

triptrap
you show me where to read and I will

THEN
I will set every ounce of my energy to remove such a GROSSLY WRONG opinion

Babelange · 17/10/2014 21:34

It looks like it is is possible to waive your rights to an inheritance or part thereof which might make the bequest more efficient. My dad did this for the whole of an inheritance (not for tax reasons, he's not that financially savvy, but because he'd just received another lump sum from elsewhere). The solicitor sorted it out. I looked online and if the website I looked at was up to date, it might be possible to put some in trust quite legitimately for your children - the rules seem to be that you need to organise this before receipt of the monies and within 9 months of the bequest being made known.

I've already 'squandered' two inheritances - paid down debt, bought a nice jumper, a coat, weekend at Center Parcs... easy come, easy go!

Good luck with you decision.

Notmadeofrib · 17/10/2014 21:34

Good call solomon. Thought it was totally mental

triptrap I think you benefit from reading that link

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 17/10/2014 21:38

No. It is OFTEN taken as deprivation. And it most certainly IS deprivation when people are advising you to do so to get benefits.

Many people have been stung due to paying off their debts and then being told it is deprivation of capital. There are different ways of doing it. Read around the net and you will find various stories. Some of those people APPEALED which takes quite a while.

SlothBear · 17/10/2014 21:38

The children will inherit their father's house and belongings in the future (which are quite valuable antiques and specialist electronic equipment) so I am comforted that they have a future nest egg.

This sounds a bit optimistic, tbh. If he's dodging financial support now, he's not going to be bothered about leaving them property in his will (although he may spout off about it grandly to make himself look better). He may well leave everything to a future partner or later children. Or the property may be used for equity release, or sold for care fees. And unless he is dying fairly soon, I can't see that electronic equipment is likely to hold it's value.

SolomanDaisy · 17/10/2014 21:44

There is no way in a million years the OP will be classed as depriving herself of assets to pay off 2k backdated utility bills. No way.

NerfHerder · 17/10/2014 21:45

I do think triptrap's idea of starting your own business is something to look into, though of course it depends entirely on your skillset/resources, and the area you're living in. Could you use the money to move to a decent area, albeit still renting, allowing you to get the children into a really good school, and find yourself promising employment?

I'm sorry about your Gran, but it's onwards and upwards Thanks

RandomMess · 17/10/2014 21:47

I too wondered about going self-employed even if it's Avon, ironing, cleaning - much more feasible if you can buy a car to whizz around.

Prosopopeia · 17/10/2014 21:48

SolomonDaisy That link was very clear and useful, Thankyou.

I'm petrified of flying, I won't be going to Disneyland Shock

A car would absolutely improve my job hunting. But that's a long way off yet, I've only just had my first driving lesson.

Some kind of work training is looking more and more ideal too.

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 17/10/2014 21:52

triptrap
evidence please : because what you are implying is so against natural justice that it is either
already on a DWP website
or the warped opinion of a few offish officers and needs testing in court

stopping people paying off debt is morally wrong

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