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my sneaky brother and his wife

68 replies

milopink · 25/04/2014 16:09

Hi all just looking for an opionion on this problem we seem to have as siblings. Our mother passed away 20 yrs ago now were all maried with family's and houses of our own. We have only last month found out that our father sold the family home to brother and his wife for less than half of what it is worth, now this all happened 4 yrs ago and we only found out so we are all fuming as to what has happened. They have been very sneaky we think as the house was never advertised on it open market it seems like a plan they all had between them.does anyone have an opion please as were all fuming.

OP posts:
Quinteszilla · 26/04/2014 20:38

Who is going to inherit the house that your dad and your aunt live in? Aunts children? Or is it a rental/council house?

TheXxed · 26/04/2014 20:38

I'm confused were you responding to me, Fishstix. For what its worth I wasn't defending the OP insulting anyone of course its wrong, your tone got my back up. You didn't acknowledge that the comment she responded to was extremely provocative some might say goady.

Itsfab · 26/04/2014 20:39

Fishstix - you have repeated an insult. You had better report your own post so MNHQ can delete it.

You too, OP otherwise pointless MNHQ deleting the initial one.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/04/2014 20:40

Yes, LadyKooKoo, they are making assumptions - they don't know why their dad has done this. If he had discussed what he was doing with the other siblings, then at least they'd know the facts - as it is, they have no facts to balance out the gut feeling of having been sidelined by their dad whilst he favours their brother (apparently) so heavily.

In the example from my earlier post, I don't feel sidelined or that my sister is favouring her dh's brother, because I understand her reasons - to the OP, it looks like her dad and her brother have kept this hidden from the family, done it behind the backs of the rest of the siblings - it is not unreasonable for them to feel hurt by this, IMO.

Quinteszilla · 26/04/2014 20:40

Personally I dont get why one should accept potential injustice just because they are doing ok, and "dont need more".

Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:43

Sorry TheXxed, was not a response to you, but the OP. I actually didn't find LadyKooKoos post hugely Grady. Her opinion was perhaps at the far side of others, but I do think you have to expect that on here.

Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:43

Apologies, that was supposed to say Goady, not Grady.

Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:45

Anyway, this is derailing the ops original issue. It's a very difficult one, I can see why she is upset, I would be too, but I honestly don't think she will have any legal recourse. I would however be seeing a solicitor in her shoes, just to make sure.

Quinteszilla · 26/04/2014 20:45

I have a sister. Our uncle favored her by giving her 50k in his will when he died. That was fine, because he told me he planned to do this. He said he had been really deliberating this, but as she is a single mum on disability benefits, and I am married with a well earning partner and earning potential of my own, he felt the need to help my sister out. I agreed. There was no hurt because he spoke to me about it and explained his reasoning.

I think the key is in the word sneaky, OP is upset they have gone behind the entire family's back, rather than discussing things and coming to an agreement. Some will argue to just suck it up, nobody needs to disclose or discuss anything, as nobody should be entitled to anybody's assets, and they are of course entitled to this opinion. I however feel that in families, there is trust and goodwill, possibly also love and respect, and you nurture this by showing each-other courtesy and thoughtfulness.

littlegreengloworm · 26/04/2014 20:48

My db is going to get my parents house. I have never questioned it, he can have it. I bought my own home.

I honestly would leave your brother and SIL to it to be honest. They didn't get it for free either, I presume.

littlegreengloworm · 26/04/2014 20:49

Though I agree, it was sneaky and dishonest.

LtEveDallas · 26/04/2014 20:55

My Bro and SIL bought mum and dads house 10 years ago for less than half the value. M&D still live in it, but when they die it will be Bro's house to do with what he pleases.

They did it because they needed the money. Their pensions weren't enough to live on, the house needed repairs, their heating was expensive etc.

Maybe that's why your dad did it OP. Maybe he simply needed some cash.

Whatever the reason, what's done is done. I get that you are hurt, and I don't blame you, but there is nothing you can do about it.

You have a choice really - let it go or let it eat you up. Let it go or cause an upset that may ruin whatever family relationships you have now. If you your life bitter about it it will eat you up. Why put that kind of stress on yourself? Be thankful for what you have and let it go.

Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:56

Quint you are of course correct that it's the sneaking about that causes the issue. Any monetary situation like this should be out in the open, otherwise these situations destroy family trust, respect and love...which is absolutely awful. Nothing more important than good family relationships, certainly not money!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/04/2014 21:00

Very wise words, LtEve.

Suttonmum1 · 26/04/2014 21:11

You could report to Inland revenue if you suspect it was undervalued to escape stamp duty and a side deal is going on.

But personally I think you should just forget it.

TalkinPeace · 26/04/2014 22:50

OP
Your parent can do what they like with their money
you may not like it
but they may not like you
they could leave everything to the flower society
they could leave everything to the masseuse
if you cannot prove they were of unsound mind (allow £50,000 to do so) you have to suck it up

DH and I were disinherited
if hurt like fuck
but it happened
end of
sadly my kids have become much less trusting as a result

AnnieOats · 29/04/2014 16:48

I can understand why OP is upset about this. If I was going to do something like this I would make sure the other children knew about it rather than for it all to come out at a later date.

Just wondering how old your DF is OP. If he needed to go into a home wouldn't selling his house for less than the market value be seen as deprivation of assets.

sarahquilt · 30/04/2014 10:27

I can really see why you're upset. It's the fact that it was all done behind your back. If my brother and father did this I think I'd never speak to them again. If they'd told you what they were doing it would be different. They've shown you and any other siblings a real lack of respect.

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