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Original poster

my sneaky brother and his wife

68 replies

milopink · 25/04/2014 16:09

Hi all just looking for an opionion on this problem we seem to have as siblings. Our mother passed away 20 yrs ago now were all maried with family's and houses of our own. We have only last month found out that our father sold the family home to brother and his wife for less than half of what it is worth, now this all happened 4 yrs ago and we only found out so we are all fuming as to what has happened. They have been very sneaky we think as the house was never advertised on it open market it seems like a plan they all had between them.does anyone have an opion please as were all fuming.

OP posts:
supadupapupascupa · 26/04/2014 18:10

that's the one. it's wrong on there. I have shared ownership and only my share (the part that was mortgaged) appears. the other part is not shown - no idea why.... anyway may be completely irrelevant but when houses are sold between family members it doesn't always show correctly.

HolidayCriminal · 26/04/2014 18:21

You're going to end up with a giant family row if you pursue this, OP.

LadyKooKoo · 26/04/2014 18:59

Are you annoyed because you think your DF has been swindled or annoyed because you think you have been done out of something which at the end of the day, is not yours? Your DFs property/money/assets are his to do with is as he pleases. He could leave them to your DB, DS or the local dog shelter if he chose to. I understand that your DM lived there too but didn't you say that your DF bought the house after she passed away? Therefore, it has nothing to do with what your DM may have wanted either and if she did have specific wishes then they should have been put in a will.

You also say that your DB has pushed you out of your DFs life over the past few years. If that is the case then is it not reasonable to think that you may not have any clue about what has been going on in their lives and therefore do not definitively know the reasons behind your DFs decision.

If I was your DF then I would be questioning your motives anyway, you made no effort to be involved when your DB was supposedly pushing you out but now money is involved, here you are.

mercibucket · 26/04/2014 19:16

sorry op Sad i hate these kinds of threads

i plan to leave my money direct to my kids to avoid any chance of tgis happening
it poisons families

milopink · 26/04/2014 19:42

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naty1 · 26/04/2014 19:47

Maybe land registry. Where sales are registered.

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2014 19:49

Op's only asking for advice, Ladykookoo. I'd feel pretty aggrieved myself in her shoes.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/04/2014 19:53

Whilst I agree that milo's dad has every right to do what he wants with his property! I can understand why she is upset by this - if it were me, I would feel it was huge favouritism towards my sibling and I would feel very hurt and resentful.

If there was some reason why the brother needed favouring in this way, it would still be good family diplomacy to discuss it with the rest of the family - for example, my dsis and dbil made their will, and have decided to split their estate unequally between me (dsis's only sibling) and dbil's only sibling - he is getting more because he has medical issues which mean he may not be able to support himself financially as he gets older.

I never assumed I was getting anything from dsis, and if they'd decided to leave it all to his brother, or to the Cats' Home, I would have been entirely fine with that. Nor did I think I deserved to be consulted - but dsis wanted to explain their decision to me so I wouldn't be hurt by finding it out some other way.

Original poster
milopink · 26/04/2014 20:00

I pay no attention to that post ive reported them for being disrespectful towards my late dm. But thanks everyone for your replies and like ive said its not just mee ive sibling's who are all hurt over this so no its not about money at all only whats right and wrong.

OP posts:
LadyKooKoo · 26/04/2014 20:03

Get a grip OP! If I have hit a nerve then frankly, that is your problem. You haven't actually said what you are so aggrieved about; the fact that you believe your DF has got less than what he is entitled to or the fact that you may potentially have been done out of something further down the line. I have read all of your posts and that is why I raised the points I did - none of which you answered! God knows why you think I am 'money hungry' when you are the one who has come on here whining about the fact that your DF has reduced any inheritance you feel entitled to!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/04/2014 20:05

Is it really so hard to work out why the OP and her siblings are sohurt by this blatant favouritism towards the brother, LadyKooKoo?

LadyKooKoo · 26/04/2014 20:13

They don't know that though do they? They haven't spoken to the DF or DB, they are just making assumptions. It could have been a part mortgage, part cash buy to avoid something like stamp duty. The DF could have been having trouble paying the mortgage so the DB took it on. They could have paid him a cash sum and have then continued giving DF a monthly income since then. There are so many other possibilities to doing the other DCs over. Clearly the DF lived there after they bought it as OP mentions that it was on rightmove 4 years ago but told the other DCs he sold it less than 2 years ago. Based on the limited info that OP has provided I would lean to it being a financial issue for the DF that DB needed to buy it.

TheXxed · 26/04/2014 20:14

I think as parents we have a duty to treat our children fairly. That's doesn't mean treat them all the same.

I would be deeply hurt if my father had done this without explaining why and hiding it from the rest of the family. It poisons families, I would ask your father why he decided to take this course of action.

Also I don't buy into this its his to do with what he pleases nonsense. Loving families do not favour one child over another.

milopink · 26/04/2014 20:15

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Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:20

Milopink you have come onto a public forum asking for opinions. Calling a poster a bitch for expressing her views when they don't fit with what you wanted to hear is not on, and is against MN policy. I have reported your post.

LadyKooKoo · 26/04/2014 20:22

Fair enough Milo, clearly I have hit a nerve with you. I am a regularly mumsnetter and have never trolled this site. Enjoy your evening feeling bitter and twisted about your Father's money and feel free to continue calling me a bitch as it is evident that you can't answer any of the points I raised.

Original poster
milopink · 26/04/2014 20:22

I never said we had no contact if you read my posts properly.the house had no mortgage as it was bought outright off the council, so dont be so bloody rude. We paid for a land registry report so that is how we know for sure who bought it and for how much so yes we are all pissed off with there sneaking around behind our backs.

OP posts:
TheXxed · 26/04/2014 20:22

Fishstix the op was responding to some pretty nasty allegations. The comment didn't just spring from nowhere.

Original poster
milopink · 26/04/2014 20:26

Fishstix I called her a bitch because she disrespected my late dm would you not be the same?

OP posts:
Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:26

If your mother died intestate then unfortunately for you there is nothing you can do. It is your fathers choice to sell the property and is wholly his to sell...although I can understand your frustration at not getting your hand on inheritance you felt would be yours when the time came and his apparent favouritism to your sibling. Is it possible your brother had debts or financial issues you know nothing about and the cheap house purchase covered this up somehow?

Notmadeofrib · 26/04/2014 20:28

Are you worried that your father has been exploited though? I think that is another matter entirely and would worry me more.

The fact your father either lied or misunderstood the sale price would also make me worry.

FWIW we have thought about buying my parents house off them (sort of an equity release but done privately). The idea is to give them capital, but also so they can continue to live there. As your father isn't doing this, it does seem a little strange. We would have paid below market rate as our money would be tied up for so long.

I would normally suggest speaking to those involved, but I think ^^ shows you perhaps might not be calm enough to achieve much at this stage.

Philoslothy · 26/04/2014 20:29

This is just money at the end of the day.

You all own your own homes, you have more than many could ever dream of. IMO you need to let go and move on.

Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:29

Nope, never call other posters anything like that. Been on MN long enough to know that if I post asking for opinion or de bang an issue I'll more than likely dislike what I hear from at least one person.

The post was deleted before I finished reporting it, so can't have just been me who thought it was an insult too far.

So OP, what do you think your most likely course of action regarding the house is?

LadyKooKoo · 26/04/2014 20:33

He may have bought it from the council but that isn't to say it wasn't remortgaged at a later date is it? The land registry will show what was registered with them, it won't show any side deal your DF and DB may have between them.

I was not disrespectful to your DM! I said that she didn't purchase the house, that is what you told us. I said that if your DM had specific wishes, there should have been a will. None of that is disrespectful! It is fact. It isn't disrespectful because you don't like it.

Fishstix · 26/04/2014 20:33

And I fail to see where the poster mentioned disrespected your DM. She was disrespecting you perhaps by suggesting your vitriol was rooted in greed, but not your DM. You'll get plenty of help on here for things like this, but you'll miss out if you constantly verbally abuse other posters.

I wish you luck with your situation. Something tells me you might need it.